Bug out time imminent ... thoughts please?

#41
I sold my late parents home in which 3 generations had lived in last October* after it being rented out for the last few years. I stayed in it whilst we repaired the damage done by the tenants and it didn’t feel like home anymore. We were lucky as it went on the market Thursday and was sold the Friday morning but I drove past it last week and it was in the process of being gutted out to get turned into flats and I admit it really pissed me off seeing half your past in a skip but then you just have to accept life moves on fairly quickly and focusing on the future seemed to help me.



*it wasn’t just 1 October.....
 

ExREME..TECH

On ROPS
On ROPs
#43
Get a toyboy
a rich one
lots of blokes like 70 year old 25 stone birds
on a positive note, try to store some things that are relevant and remind you off your happier times, and take them with you when you move, if you need the place burnt down for an insurance claim get me round , I am cheap but dodgy
Like the kitchen and all the copper
 
#48
It's a long time since I posted a weepy look-at-me thread, so I thought I'd throw myself on the mercy of the new "caring sharing Arrse".

As some of you may know, I'm faced with selling my mother's house to pay for her care. So far, so shit.

They do say that house moves are right up there in the top three stressful situations, but apart from the usual rubbish connected with most sales/purchases, this is the family home of three generations, and my only home for the last 20 odd years.

I can't get my head around the fact that it will be gone forever. I've pulled my big girl superhero doorkicker pants up and tried to be positive, but I'm shitting myself, as it gets ever closer.

Any thoughts please? Am I being f*cking wet, or are these feelings understandable.
Yes it's a three generation home and it holds memories of the past, please try to understand that it is only a thing an object, you still have the memories and realise that these memories are the past and there and the past cannot be changed.
 
#50
Think of the good times in the house, the memories you have.

And the good memories that any other family will have to develop there, your giving that family hope and happiness

Think about your mother and that it is happening to Make sure she gets the best care available at the end of the day your mothers well being is more important than bricks and mortar.
 

Waz

Old-Salt
#51
We sold my Grandmother's house to pay for her care about 20 years ago. My Mum was born there and lived her entire single life there and like you, she felt she couldn't face selling it, so left it to me to do. I had many memories of my own there, obviously not as many as Mum, but it still felt like a milestone in my life.
Strangely, once you've made your mind up this is what you're going to do, it gets a lot easier. The first few weeks clearing out, of constantly finding little memories and stupid stuff that wouldn't mean a thing to anyone else is the hardest. Once you've got past that, it does get easier, honest. It's the stuff inside the house and inside your head that make it a home. Once it's cleared out, you can see it for what it is - a building. I still drive past Nan's house when I'm in the area even now.
I hope it goes well for you.
 
#52
As those who`ve achieved nothing in life get care homes for free here`s what I`d do , sell the house , draw it all in cash , fly to Vegas , blow £3k and have some fun, but tell the council you blew the lot and now they have to pay for your mothers care.

If you need advice on storing several hundred thousand £ in cash PM me,
:thumright::thumright:

Or have the money to pay for access to solicitors and accountants who can minimised you losses, maximise your fiscal efficiency

But like most normal people you just have to watch as a lifetime of toil is evaporated by the state

Hold some back to pay for the exortionate funeral

Wealth protection, only for the wealthy.

If you know any other way start banging links up
 
#53
:thumright::thumright:

Or have the money to pay for access to solicitors and accountants who can minimised you losses, maximise your fiscal efficiency

But like most normal people you just have to watch as a lifetime of toil is evaporated by the state

Hold some back to pay for the exortionate funeral

Wealth protection, only for the wealthy.

If you know any other way start banging links up
Home
 
#54
Invest your emotions/feelings in people, not in things.

The house holds no memories, memories are in your head. The house is merely your present focus for them.

And now the house can be the focus for somebody else to create their memories. Circle of life stuff.

Grasp happiness wherever you can, from the moment. The moment is all there is, all that matters. Deal with each as they come along.

Live for the now.

I wish you the best
 
#55
Invest your emotions/feelings in people, not in things.

The house holds no memories, memories are in your head. The house is merely your present focus for them.

And now the house can be the focus for somebody else to create their memories. Circle of life stuff.

Grasp happiness wherever you can, from the moment. The moment is all there is, all that matters. Deal with each as they come along.

Live for the now.

I wish you the best
Who let ******* Yoda in
 
#57
Sorry about your problems Bob. This whole set up is a crock. My wife's parents put the house in her name when they first started getting old and wobbly - RESULT! No problems, legal or otherwise. In fact we later moved in and 'did it up'.

We advised my mother to do the same. She bimbled along to the family solicitor who suggested we'd throw her on the streets and make her homeless. Because of him, we spent 4k a month for several years. But hey, the good news is that when the capital gets down to around 23 grand, the care becomes free and the rest -, well, it can't go to the family, as there are things like legal fees and funerals etc.

Both lots of parents had worked long and hard to do the best for their families and leave them something.

If your parents have property and are getting on, I'd urge you to sit down with them and have a conversation. Once they have dementia or similar, all bets are off, no matter how long they then survive.

My mother had done a voluntary DNR (which we didn't know about) but the care home kept bringing here back. Sceptic? Not me. 4k a month....... Also, it seems that if the patient 'appears' to be suffering (?) then the DNR does not apply.
 
#58
Perfectly normal feelings. I've been through it twice. When my parents passed on clearing their house and finally closing the door for the last time was gutting. Memories a plenty, not all good, but it was their home for more than 30 years and it had all come to an end. The house clearing was particularly painful.

On a separate trip I passed the house we had for the first 6 years of my life. Massive place that had been in the family for a while. Cost 100 pounds to build, dad sold it for two grand because the roof was about to fall in due to rot. It had been renovated and was on the market 50 years later for half a million. I was shown round by the owner and all the memories came flooding back. Seriously thought about buying it back, possible but I'd also have to sell my present pile and I'm quite attached to that at the moment.
First paragraph, agreed, very painful.
My wife & son dealt with it the second day. Although six years ago, I haven’t driven past it since.
In reply to @SONAR-BENDER, my in laws put their house in my wife’s & her sisters names four or so years ago.
 

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