Went for a dump yesterday, everything felt normal until I hit the seat. Jussus ! I'd not been eating anything different or drinking any less, but I thought I'd never get rid of the grogan ! Solid as a rock and fighting to stay inside, this barstard felt like it was goung to push my hoop up around my neck ! I was going to try picking it out in bits, or using a coathanger stab it to death before I could pull it's corpse out when common sense took a hold. This thing should be shifted with willpower, so I grit my teeth, grabbed the underside of the bowl and thrust down like a dwarf trying to give birth to a sumo wrestler. In the words of Churchill, there was blood, there was sweat and there was tears, but eventually I dropped this watermelon into the pan. RELIEF ! It was fecking incredible, I'd lost more than half my bodyweight purging this single chud ! The feeling of extacy on release of the monster gave way to a weird sensation of draught, a sort of gentle two way fart. My ring hadn't returned to it's original size and was just gaping down in awe at the turd which was eyeing it back balefully. It took some time before my sphincter closed off and it occurred to me that should anyone ever be stupid enough to get caught, I mean commit a crime, they'd do well to prep themselves before Bubba the Club plays Mummys and Daddys after lights out. So to all those who can't organize themselves to stay one step ahead of the Monkeys or civpol, get yourselves a stock of Arctic rat packs. A month before your court appearance and subsequent sentencing, eat nothing but the Arctic rations. You will continue to kak, just in a different fashion, and by the time your kit is swapped with covvies you will be passing turds the size of a football without tears. Come the first night as Bubba's bitch you will be able to look him square in the eye and say "I can handle anything you've got big boy." Further information can be obtained by sending a PM to Mish/LJH ------ Everyone has their Most Feared Dump, what solidifies you ?