Brutal Esquire Personals

Discussion in 'Lonely Hearts' started by CardinalSin, Aug 5, 2005.

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  1. I found this hyperlink - it's some wierd personals. Not even sure if they're ironic or totally fake, but worth a look anyway.

    CFUS for sure.

  2. SpeckledJim

    SpeckledJim Old-Salt

    Did'nt fancy yours much. Pity its not a site, I could get my ex on it!!
  3. bomb_mac

    bomb_mac War Hero

    suddenly i feel good about my life
  4. Has to be a wind-up:

    Age: 30 Male
    Height: 5'11"
    Weight: 185
    Occupation: Unemployed
    Number of sexual partners: 0
    Last date: Never
    Location: San Francisco
    Seeking: A good-looking, intelligent woman who can overlook my physical shortcomings and teach me about love. Please hurry.

    I am a thirty-year-old virgin '8O' on the verge of giving up on love. When I do have a job, it's low paying, and credit consolidators take half of what I earn. I'm behind on my rent, emotionally closed, and take medication to treat my depression. I'm short, not that attractive, a little fat, and have a very small penis :lol: . I also have a problem with excessive farting :lol: . I studied mathematics in college but still live under the delusional hope of becoming an actor :roll: .

    Gets my vote!
  5. 8O 8O

    8O 8O


  6. gado

    gado LE

    lol @ beebs.

    I was gonna add my own, but it sounded more sad than any of theirs, so though better of it. :cry:
  7. Biscuits_AB

    Biscuits_AB Guest

    Nah, go on do it.
  8. gado

    gado LE

    You stalking me again biscuits?
  9. Biscuits_AB

    Biscuits_AB Guest

    Yep. Will you stand still for a minute while I get a bead on you.
  10. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    Of course it's a wind up, MDN's lying about his height.

  11. Still waiting for you to put YOUR profile up there Cuts. :wink:
    Yours would be very ahem "interesting", seeing as the words copraphiliac, amputee, necrophilia and formaldehyde will feature in it.
  12. gado

    gado LE

    lol, you're crap! call yourself a soldier? & i don't even move that fast!
  13. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    I don't need to put anything onto a Lonely Hearts site.
    None of my hearts are lonely in the slightest, they all sit in their little jars next to each other on the larder shelf.
  14. gado

    gado LE

    Can you send me one? I don't think I have one of my own anymore. I lost it about 18mnths ago.
  15. Ali_Gee

    Ali_Gee War Hero

    5'11' is short???? that makes me a 5'8" Dwarf!!