Brown’s Text Messages

It’s being reported that Gordon Brown’s phone was hacked and I’ve managed to get a copy of some of his text messages. Anyone got any others?

To Bob Ainsworth:
Pick me up pint of milk and copy of Razzle then close down Army lol

To Private Secretary:
Thanx 4 letting me no about Bush visit. Will keep eye out for him.

To Mrs Gillian Duffy:
Sorry 4 calling u racist cow. Meant nice lady cow. Don’t tell anyone. xx
I am outraged. How dare you besmirch the good name of the Naafi bar with this?
Another one
"Don't tell anyone,but I'm going to tell everyone that I am selling the UK gold reserve,just before we sell it.That should ensure we get the best price!"
I am outraged by this latest hacking revelation because it has made me admit to my final remant of humanity, the bit I was keeping for later, and feel sympathy for the Kirkaldy Gargoyle...

OK sympathy break over, back to heckling the one eyed social misfit and economic pygmy.
To the manufacturer:

"What do you recommend for getting stains off a rocking horse?"

Allegedly. Ahem.
Manufacturer:We are sorry Mr Brown,there are no refunds for soiled rocking horse's.

We state clearly in the usage policy that the rocking horse should only be used in conjunction with the supplied nappies.
What's the price of gold again?,,,,,oh shit shit shit shit,now Tony won't speak to me anymore...
If the screws of the world had just hacked Mr Brown, instead of his phone, they would still be in print and their circulation would have doubled. Missed that one Murdoch.
I am outraged. How dare you besmirch the good name of the Naafi bar with this?
Sir, you make a valid point and sometimes, just sometimes, there is the greater good to be considered before publication. Your message is clear and I will never mention Pointless Ainsworth again.

That cunt Hoon is another matter though. Others have wished him a painful death, but that’s unjust, and so I wish him a long and painful life. It’s the least, really it is, I could wish for him.

I hope he’s got aids.
hi doc,sorry for texting,can't speak.can you send some cunt round to pull this fucking gobstopper oot the side o me fucking mouth.

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