Broken leg,,need advice........

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by tuffy52, Oct 25, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. OK,Tonight whilst watching re runs of My Little Pony and having a few bevvies I happened to hear a ruckus in my street,upon investigating I found a gang of 'hoodies' shouting and swearing in my street,now my street is a very quiet and refined thoroughfare that normally has no problems.It goes without saying that being ex whatever that I was not going to stand for this type of nonsense,so tummy in,chest out I swiftly march over to this bunch of cunts with a view to giving them a strong piece of my mind,unfortunately I neglected to notice that I was wearing my dressing gown,slippers and had a pipe (ok it's not good for me) in my mouth.This attire seemed to have the opposite effect on the 'hoodies' that I desired,,,instead of running off in fear they decided I would make a good punch bag.As luck would have it I was saved from a severe beating by a voice from the distance,this voice had it's own qualities,niether male nor female but somewhere in between.This saviour along with his/her friends eventually helped me back into my house and lay me down on my settee,unfortunately my knight in shinning armor glanced at my computer monitor and in a flash shouted so YOU are Tuffy52 take that you bastard and then whacked me with a 4x2 nails on my left leg thus breaking it.Anyway to cut a long story short it turns out that Princess TV were holding a flash mob experience on my street and the revelation to the Post Production Operative that I helped (in a minor way) to cause all that pain was too much for the dear darling luvvy,so he broke my leg with a very heavy object.My problem now is who to sue?,1 Princess TV, 2 Arrse, 3 My Missus and my dogs for not saving me from myself....

    • Like Like x 1
  2. Sue yourself for being a cretin in
    1. Your Arthur Dent impression when you needed to create a Swarzenegger impression to confront hoodies. (hint: boots are good here)
    2.Persec in having your details open for everyone to see, how much time do you need to hit the little minus bit at the top? But then again if you rushed out in grandad order what did you expect?
    Let the leg breaker have his fun, it's therapeutic and good all round, plus you get to meet nurses. Win-win.
  3. Sue yourself?

    No. Perhaps, as repentance for such a dull and un-funny attempt to create an amusing post on the back of the recent PrincessTv thread, may I suggest that you follow this procedure instead:

    1. Run bath until half full
    2. Plug hairdrier or toaster into mains.
    3. Carry into bathroom
    4. Step into bath, and sit down holding aforementioned electrical appliance
    5. Drop appliance into the water.
    • Like Like x 1
  4. It's cos I'm old and stupid that I had to refer to people stupider (not neccesarily older) than I am,but your advice will be treasured.....

  5. I only have gas in my house due to government cuts,but still any advice is worth listening to,,,,even if it comes from a cunt stupid enough to respond to thread from a stupid cunt,,,Ha ha ha ha ha I'm pissed,whats your fucking excuse...........
  6. Times like this you find out who your mates are, eh?

    • Like Like x 1
  7. I'm small. And I can't be a cunt, I'm useless... what's your excuse? :D

    Gas, eh... well make sure you get your whole head in the oven...
  8. I would still do it (Disambiguation)..............
  9. Still a bit, err, ambiguous...
  10. It's always problems with you. If it's not your friend/Grandson deploying without knee pads, its you just being a general jizz bucket,,,,,,,
  11. OK I will spell it out,,my fucking broken leg hurts like shit,,so I would do them both,,just to ease the pain you understand...