British Rail Ham Sandwich

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by rgjbloke, May 25, 2011.

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  1. So there I was watching Pete Waterman presenting his Waterman on Railways program and they let the cat out of the bag on that huge British Rail con, the British Rail ham sandwich.

    This bloke who was a former British Rail chef demonstrated how it's done. When you look at the sandwich where it's been cut in half, you can see "two" slices of ham clearly visible and so you think, hhmm lovely and good value for your dosh and happily munch away on your ham feast.

    You've been conned. The ex B.R. chef showed you how. What they do is cut a slice of ham in half and place it in the middle of the sandwich so that when it's cut in half it looks like you have got two whole slices for your money. They save money because they only use 3 slices of ham for 2 sandwiches instead of 4 slices.

    The thieving bastards. I'm 55 and I've only just found out after all these years that I've been conned. Imagine how I feel!

    Anybody else come across any sharp catering tricks that we should keep our eyes open for?
    • Bullshit Bullshit x 1
  2. Anyone who fails to provide for himself before a rail journey is a fool.

    Except for tea, that is quite good.
  3. Personally I'd love to see a Kentucky Fried Chicken before it's slotted. They've got tiny little breasts, must have at least three or four legs (you never get breast bits), skinny wings and the wierd rib cage bit (with no fooking meat on it) which looks like no part of any animal I've ever seen.

    Having said that they do taste good especially when soaking up beer!

    Another sharp catering trick is my missus passing off the shite she conjours up as food
  4. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    'British Rail Ham Sandwich' is such an obvious euphemism.
  5. I don't know about that, BR used to do a very good cooked breakfast on the morning Pullman from Manchester to London, had some cracking Kippers on it!
    Must admit I agree about KFC, the breasts & legs are so tiny they look as though they come from the feral pigeons found in most towns & cities :-(
  6. We need a thread about buffet cars.

    I will start it off.

    Mk1 coaching stock, which was better: the Restaurant, Minature Buffet or the Brake, Standard, open (Micro-buffet)?


  7. HHH

    HHH LE

    I thought that ham sandwiches were banned on British trains as they offended the suicide bombers!
  8. If you want to know about catering ripoffs, it is instructive to have a leaf through the catalogues for Booker Catering and Brake Brothers before dining out. There you can see the dishes that will be placed before you, precooked and vac-packed and only needing to be heated in microwave or water-bath by whatever scrofulous school leaver or syphilitic Turk they have employed as 'chef'.
  9. The sly trick of using a paint brush to spread warm soft butter on bread as thinly as possible to make the butter last for a few more loaves.
  10. I've always thought they were skittery wee bits of Ethiopian pigeon so I make it myself. Got a recipe for KFC batter, blend of herbs and spices my arrse. It is really smashing when you use it with proper chicken and as after-pub-grub its in a league of its own :)

    As for rip offs, the sachets of tomato sauce are well up there IMO. Once you have hacksawed it open you get a tiny pishy dribble and if you actually want some sauce on your scoff then you need to open about 15 of the fuckers.
  11. HHH

    HHH LE

    The RLC practice of calling c*nts Chefs!!
  12. You're talking about the hardest course in the British Army. No one's ever passed the fucker!
  13. at least here we don't call them chefs. they're just cooks,baitlayers,fitter and turners ect.

    Eric, whats in the kfc batter?
  14. Pararegtom

    Pararegtom LE Book Reviewer

    Is,nt that the old classic, who called the chef a c..t , retort who called the c..t a chef... boom tish
  15. HHH

    HHH LE

    Yes, you're right, but it's a re-hash, like some of their food!!