British B@stards Fight Dirty!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by filthyphil, Jan 5, 2006.

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  1. Alright, we sent over Neighbours, the odd rockspider (nonce to you blokes), and one Taliban member who wants to get out of Guantanamo Bay. This was done as a practical joke between mates, but you cnuts have gone too far. When I arrived home from work t'other night, a weary Filthy collapsed into a chair, turned on the telly, and beheld, yes, you fcukin' guessed it, Ultimate Force! Now I'm a fair man, I thought "Give it a chance, it can't be as bad as the chaps said". IT FCUKIN WAS! Some fat heap of sh!t whose philosophy on chins is obviously "quantity not quality" poncing about trying to look hard, and who I thought wore an assault vest under his shirt (it turned out to be his guts) led me to believe that he interpreted SAS to stand for sweet and sour. Bring back Bodie and Doyle FFS! If it's war you want, believe me, we have local tv shows that make Neighbours look like Citizen Kane,along with Danni Minogue and Rolf Harris, AND WE ARE NOT AFRAID TO USE THEM. At this very moment, Australian and British diplomats are engaged in high level talks to avert what is fast becoming an international incident. Please, let sanity prevail. You know it makes sense.
  2. Be careful Phil - we are in negotiations with NZ to retaliate with 'Shortland Street' if you persist with this strategy.
  3. I can't understand Filthy's problem...Ultimate Farce is approved by the MOD. Oh hang on, that's the same MOD who approved another brigade op in Afghanistan, options for Change and Maning Control is it...say no more. I'm in for the aussies!
  4. ...and get your kit from China and the cheapest bidder.....

    Beebs :?
  5. maninblack

    maninblack LE Book Reviewer


    Shut your gob or we'll ship Robson and Jerome down'll be begging for Kylie The One Titted Dwarf to return then to rescue you.
  6. Well snotted, that man!!
    Anyway, they started it..............................'Skippy' fer flips sake???
    An entertainment that involves a 5' rat with with Cerebral Palsy?????!!!!!!!

    *edited 'cos I karnt spel*
  7. Careful fillthy, or we will send Johnny W back to teach you a lesson again (if we can ever get him fit again!!!!!!!!)
  8. She has re-released a Buddy Holly classic. The lyrics go "All my life, I been a'kissin,
    Your left tit 'cause the right one's missin'"
  9. Classic! I shall use that one (if you don't mind) :D
  10. Doesn't it mean "Super Army Soldiers" Maybe we should send Henno's wife down under... she'd sort them out!
  11. You mean, OP. Carry On Up The Khyber?
  12. RTFQ


    Anymore gobbing off from down under will result in Noel Edmonds's latest TV Prolapse "Deal or no Deal" being sent on the next Qantas out of Gatwick. Once all your frigging housewives are glued in front of the telly gasping in suspense as ugly people open boxes at 5pm instead of getting scoff on the go, you'll be begging us to let you come back and work behind our bars.

    Or we'll "spooks" you.
  13. In exchange for the Aussie Taliban we should send George Galloway down under.... You'd like him.....
  14. They had it before us, but their contestants are compelled to make a bizarre crossed forearms gesture to signify 'no deal'. I saw it when I was last there. (It was the best thing on at the time.)

    Oh, and 'Trishia' started off her teleision career in Aus. Seems we've already lost this one.
  15. 'The Sullivans', 'Prisoner Cell Block H' and 'Sons and Daughters'.

    'Ultimate Farce' is virtually Shakespeare by comparison*

    (* cos it's 'tragic'.... lab coat on, and I'm out the door)