British army officers...

[witchcraft]

When leaving your phone number on a voice message you can't just give it once, has to be repeated.

You never park your car nose first in Sainsburys.

When you go on holiday you always take too many socks and not enough shirts.

You secretly enjoy pissing in sinks...

When Surveying open ground (when not looking for enemy in depth) you think, good tank country. If a forestry block - I could get a platoon in here.

You Survey Open Ground.

When you are pointing out some natural feature you begin with "Reference bushy topped tree etc etc"

All your shirts are lined up in the same direction in your locker (sorry wardrobe). All your clothes hangers are made of wood and are all facing the same way.

Your trousers hang by trouser hangers.

Your girlfriend has started saying "admin" and gave you the "Sandhurst Chop" when telling you to put the bin out.

You sleep the sleep of death.

You have three day sacks of different sizes.

On a clear night with a full moon you think, good patrol weather, cold though...

Sadly completely guilty of the above and the originals! and I will add:

Fuming when the ambulance service doesn't understand GRs

Blowing a fuse when you can't find shoes with proper soles (i.e. leather) outside of London

 

[old_fat_and_hairy]

Arguing with the missus about which way to go in the car, and then saying 'Listen love, see the sun in the sky? Now, what time is it . . . aaaand where is north?"

Bugger! Did that very same thing just yesterday!

 

[DontMentionTheWar]

When leaving your phone number on a voice message you can't just give it once, has to be repeated.

You never park your car nose first in Sainsburys.

When you go on holiday you always take too many socks and not enough shirts.

You secretly enjoy pissing in sinks...

When Surveying open ground (when not looking for enemy in depth) you think, good tank country. If a forestry block - I could get a platoon in here.

You Survey Open Ground.

When you are pointing out some natural feature you begin with "Reference bushy topped tree etc etc"

All your shirts are lined up in the same direction in your locker (sorry wardrobe). All your clothes hangers are made of wood and are all facing the same way.

Your trousers hang by trouser hangers.

Your girlfriend has started saying "admin" and gave you the "Sandhurst Chop" when telling you to put the bin out.

You sleep the sleep of death.

You have three day sacks of different sizes.

On a clear night with a full moon you think, good patrol weather, cold though...

Sadly completely guilty of the above and the originals! and I will add:

Fuming when the ambulance service doesn't understand GRs
Blowing a fuse when you can't find shoes with proper soles (i.e. leather) outside of London

My bold - agreed!

Also : getting upset when taxi drivers in London (who have supposedly done "The Knowledge") don't know that there are two roads of the same name within 2km of each other and take me to the wrong one!

 

[shiny]

I'd be interested to know how many people do these (I'm a regular offender):

When meeting mates in a pub you always turn up 5 minutes early and are secretly angry that nobody else has.

You subconsciously red-pen everything you read.

Worse still, if it's a venue you haven't been to before, you turn up 15 minutes early to put in a CTR, in order that you are definitely there 5 minutes early.

Guilty M'lud.

 

[bt80]

I'd be interested to know how many people do these (I'm a regular offender):

When meeting mates in a pub you always turn up 5 minutes early and are secretly angry that nobody else has.

You subconsciously red-pen everything you read.

Worse still, if it's a venue you haven't been to before, you turn up 15 minutes early to put in a CTR, in order that you are definitely there 5 minutes early.

Sh1t - I did that last night!

 

[LostBoss]

Arguing with the missus about which way to go in the car, and then saying 'Listen love, see the sun in the sky? Now, what time is it . . . aaaand where is north?"

This raises a very good point.

Improvised Instructional Opportunities.

As with the "of course at midday in the northern hemisphere the sun is at the due south position and a stick will cast a shadow directly north", there is the tendency to engage close friends and family members in field lessons to keep their skills up and keep them keen.

"Great throw son! How far do you think you threw that?"

"I don't know"

"Well here's the thing on flat level ground you'll find that the length of your stride is very consistent. This being the case you can accurately measure distance covered by counting your paces"

"Dad.."

"Now son, I happen to have measured out 100M, it's from here to bushy topped tree, has anyone not seen bushy topped tree"

"Can we play now....."

"In a moment son, this may save your life one day so listen in, we'll be doing this later. So I know that 62 of my double paces takes me to the 100 metre point. I will demonstarte this now"

etc etc.

The day ends with Dad making his boy Leopard crawl around the sandpit whilst smacking tennis balls over his head. "PAYS TO BE A WINNER SON"

 

[the_matelot]

Do VW Golfs still get issued at commissioning along with labrador puppy?!

And what's wrong with Golfs???

 

[Bullet Sponge]

Feck i'm guilty of two thirds of those statements and i'm not a rupert! Sh1t!

You aren't the only one

 

[Iscoed]

Do VW Golfs still get issued at commissioning along with labrador puppy?!

And what's wrong with Golfs???

My ex- brother-in-law had one (prat) - though his unit was quite good (AAC) - amazed he stayed,as longest serving Captain...

 

[Iscoed]

Feck i'm guilty of two thirds of those statements and i'm not a rupert! Sh1t!

You aren't the only one

I see old habits die hard ?


...still corpsing over your sig...hilarious and good.

 

[Litotes]

Arguing with the missus about which way to go in the car, and then saying 'Listen love, see the sun in the sky? Now, what time is it . . . aaaand where is north?"

Even when it's 8 oktas of cloud!!!! And I will admit to climbing out of the car to point out the Pole Star...

Litotes