Britain-Vatican Blamed For Putin Assassination Attempt

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by KGB_resident, Jan 3, 2008.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Funny rumours.

    http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message479664/pg1

     
  2. Hmmm, I think one of these might help with their "problem"
     

    Attached Files:

  3. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    One can only hope.

    During the worst periods of Nazism under Hitler, Communism under Stalin and outrageous Fascism and stupidity under Mussolini in Italy, the Vatican didn't try and assassinate those bods; in fact, the even reached a form of detente with Hitler and Mussolini, so why, with Putin not burning down or stealng churches in Russia, the papacy would want to do him in is anyones guess.

    As for MI5; well, yes, we might all be a little peeved at the beheading of one of our divers a few years ago, but sending Armenians in to do the blerk is a little amateurish isn't it? With a fcuking sabre?!?!?1

    It's a capitalist, imperialist, papist plot I tell ya!!!
     
  4. What the hell is wrong with sending in the Papal Shock Troops AKA The Jesuits? Jeez you use civilians you get monkeys who do it for peanuts rather than for the Glory of Mother Church. Putin wouldn't last two minutes with Sister Katherine from my old school......
     
  5. I understand the Pope was a bit tasty with a Schmeisser in his younger days, so anything is possible. Chuck in a little too much fortfied communion wine over Christmas and 'Iron Cross' on the Vatican DVD and the old codger could easily be donning his old uniform and marching on Stalingrad.
     
  6. I suppose that Opus Dei and a certain albino monk were involved...

    SLR (Not to be confused with SLR Boy)
     
  7. There is something slightly worrying when the crazies are running loose in Moscow - and by that I mean the security people.
     
  8. The Vatican has secret services, wow you learn something new everyday, thats something to tell to your mates in the pub.
     
  9. Only of you want to end up hanging from Blackfriars Bridge...


    Allegedly. 8O
     
  10. from the people that brought you the Protocols of the Elders of Zion...
     
  11. seaweed

    seaweed LE Book Reviewer

    Of course the poor sods told their interrogators what they wanted to hear .. more to that process than just standing on their feet I should think.

    In the real world I can't think that the chaos that would follow such an assassination would be sought by any rational Western agency.

    Armenians have business going on in Azerbaijan and so forth ..
     
  12. Careful now... :twisted:
     
  13. Well they already have their own Vatican Secret Archives (funnily enough not much content on the page) so why not? Not forgetting their own military - even if the uniforms do make the Chavalry look like pictures of fine sartorial elegance. They've had their own Diplomatic Corps for centuries (beaten only by Venice and us) and it's been an open secret for donkeys years that they and a lot of the Church's other organisations do a bit of intelligence collecting for the head shed back in Rome as well. IIRC back in the 50s or 60s there were several analysts from America's NSA (their version of our GCHQ) that resigned rather than participate in the interception and cracking of Vatican diplomatic messages.

    What amuses me is that this is apparently a joint UK-Vatican operation. Come on, I mean that's patently ridiculous. Everyone knows that the Holy See and Royal Family have fu*king hated each other since the Reformation/Dissolution of the Monasteries and have been trying to secretly kill each other off via their clandestine struggle for control of the world.

    Apparently the Church was getting a bit uppity back in the late 70s so Lizzie got Phil the Greek to arrange to have the new Pope John Paul I whacked to send a message. They retaliated a few years later but their Manchurian Candidate assassin Michael Fagan's programming went a bit squew-wiff in transit and she was able to fend him off. Still better than their previous attempt the December before or Bela Stifter in 1987 who didn't even get the right palace. Their last attempt in 2002 the least said the better really since they didn't even get the right Queen.
     
  14. Nehustan

    Nehustan On ROPs

    I believe that the Knights of St. John act as a unofficial intelligence gathering organisation. Actually headed up by an ex Scots' Guard (i.e GM) since 1988 if I recall rightly, first Brit to be the GM of the papal order. The priory of the English tongue is very telling if ever anyone has an afternoon to waste in London.
     
  15. I don't want the news reports. I just can't wait for the movie.
    How about the cast.
    First of all, bring back Pierce Brosnan as Commander James Bond.
    Sigourney Weaver as Sister Mary Theresa secret agent of the Vatican Secret Service.
    Dame Helen Mirren as head of the Russian FSB doing her dialogue in Russian with subtitles.
    Dame Judy Dench as "M".
    Not sure yet who should play the Armenians.

    Seriously, the Armenians have a record of very successful assassinations in the past 25-30 years. About 50 by ASALA and 9 or 10 by the Justice Commandos. Compared with their work these guys sound like amateurs. Maybe a few of the Monty Python guys could do these Armenians.