Britain Has Almost 400,000 Jedi Knights

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by FunkyNewBlood, Jan 18, 2005.

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  1. Aren't they the Green Slime with all their mind control antics and levitation tricks.....

    "According to an article in the Daily Telegraph there are over 170 different faiths or belief systems in Britain and obscurely, the Jedi Knight faith is #5 with a 390,127 followers. This is more than Sikh, Jewish and Buddhist. The article has a lot more details and figures for other religions and beliefs."


    In a related incident, the Evil Storm Troopers of Mosul have taken their first Jedi sympathisers captive. They are calling for all ATAT's and X-Wing fighters to be withdrawn from the country otherwise they will put the captive infadels in a waste disposal machine...... Wookie Hell :twisted:

  2. There ain't that many of us in the slime FNB. And besides, the dark side does not count as a Jedi!!

    I think this all started in the last national census. There was a tabloid campaign to try and get people to annotate their religion as Jedi Knight. Seems it worked.
  3. As a Slimer myself - hence the name tag picture - I can confirm there ARE that many slimers, we are just good at our jobs :wink: Who makes all the brews?

    I'm kidding :p
  4. Likewise FNB, I too, am a slimer, and not a disciple of the Darkside, evil heartless folk that they are! Suppose i forgot about all the brew makers, and smoke and mirrirs stuff.

    Blessed are the brew makers for they shall inherite the planet of Tatooine!!!
  5. So where are all the Sith? Waiting in the shadows somewhere I expect.
  6. I thought that was obvious Crapspy, they are in the Westcountry!
  7. You must of been tempted my light-sided saber wielding protector of the faith. All those offers of promotion through the ranks to Sith overlord within 2 years? Able to speak in tongues like an Ewok? No?

    You must be like me then and think all the darkside ladies, I think they are ladies, look like Jabba the Hutt.

    May our cosmic paths cross in some distant land. I'll be the one wearing a sandy coloured uniform....
  8. Go now FNB and defend all that is good from the evil disciples of DSSS. May the force be with you.
  9. "Theres no substitute for a good blaster!"
  10. Yes and a substantial amount apparently tried to change their religion on their records to get dog tags which read "A SMITH A POS JEDI KNIGHT"... Sadly the system just could not cope.
  11. Now that does sound like the Corps I know and love. If ever stuck for a topic of conversation just mention any cult TV or SF programme and suddenly everyone goes all enthusiastic.
  12. Tragic! :roll:
  13. I was mobilised with a cnut who claimed to be pagan.

    Whether he was or not I don't really care, but he was certainly totally useless, and only slightly less dangerous to the soldiers around him than TCH.
  15. Got nothing but CofE and the odd catholic round here, how depressingly normal.

    Back in my space cadet days though (a while ago now) we had a femal cadet on camp once who claimed to be a practicing witch. On the sunday she spent a long time explaining explaining how she wasn't a christian to get out of church parade (and got very offended when I called her "one of those wicca hippy freaks", ever the sensitive one me) and in general was a pain in the arse. Cue CWO claiming that the old witchcraft laws were still in force and that evening a kangaroo court was convened, a guilty verdict returned (lovely tolerant jury) and the sentence of death awarded to be carried out at the end of camp disco. Being a somewhat naive individual she spent the rest of the week trying to get her sentence reduced and hiding from me, the appointed executioner (never did work out how I'd actually do it although I suspect the camp comm would have objected to burning at the stake). Happy days.