Brit movie Gangsters

Spotted this on a Canadian website and thought that it might interest a few of you arrsers. I mean, ARE the Brits the meanest bad asses out there or do we just wimp out compared to Septic bad asses ?

British people are known for lots of fun things like David and Victoria Beckham, all-day breakfasts, vodka snorting and calling normal, everyday things cute names like lorries, mogs and the dole. Usually a sweet and generous people, they ask nothing in return except that we put their Queen on our money. Know this though: if you make them angry they will fcuking end you. They will use hammers, bats, knives, fruit bowls, their mum’s denture plate, etc. to get the job done. At least, that’s what we’ve learned from watching their gangster movies, anyway. In honour of RocknRolla, director Guy Ritchie’s return to gangland goodness, we’re taking a look at ten of the toughest British movie gangsters out there.

-Ben Carrozza, Leah Collins/
The top 10:

10. The Tough Guy: Bob Hoskins as Harold Shand in The Long Good Friday (1980)
Bad-ditude: 1 smoking barrel out of 5. Shand deals out some heavy (and deadly) punishment when his back is against the wall (just ask the IRA members he slaughters when it’s discovered they’re partly behind attacks on his crime empire). Still, getting into real estate isn’t the most maverick thing one can do – unless the film was set in 2008.

9. The Tough Guy: Daniel Craig as Mr. X in Layer Cake (2004)
Bad-ditude: 2 smoking barrels out of 5. Preferring to use brains instead of brute British force, X isn’t the most chilling of gangsters out there. His ruthless efficiency and self-preserving nature – plus the general awesomeness of the film – make him a must for this list, however.

8. The Tough Guy: Alan Ford as Brick Top in Snatch (2000)
Bad-ditude: 3 smoking barrels out of 5. Brick Top is more Hannibal Lector than low-level crime lord. The dude has a rep for feeding anyone who crosses him to his prized pigs. As for what he does when you so much as give him the stink eye, he has no qualms about ordering his goons to hack off a few limbs or (spoiler!) fry someone’s mother alive. When we’re upset, we just sing a little louder in the shower. Maybe something to keep in mind…

7. The Tough Guy: Ben Kingsley as Don Logan in Sexy Beast (2000)
Bad-ditude: 3 smoking barrels out of 5. According to Kingsley, his performance of the C-word dropping, rage-filled Don Logan was based on his dear grandmother, “a vile and extremely unpleasant woman.” Here’s hoping Nana Kingsley, however, wasn’t quite as psychopathic as Don – a crook who doesn’t rob for the money, but “for the sheer f--k-off-ness of it all” and who won’t even stop spewing his manipulative bile (spoiler!) after taking a bullet and a brick to the head.

6. The Tough Guy: Vinnie Jones as Big Chris in Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
Bad-ditude: 3 smoking barrels out of 5. As his crooked boss puts it, “You put Big Chris on a job and he will make sure it gets done, no matter what’s in his way.” Big Chris will smash your face with a tanning bed or a car door to get the bills paid on time – and all while baby-sitting. Debt-collecting is a family business and Big Chris brings his young son Little Chris along for the ride, even if it means he has to scold deadbeats for dropping f-bombs while he’s trying to collect.

5. The Tough Guy: Ralph Fiennes as Harry Waters in In Bruges (2008)
Bad-ditude: 3.5 smoking barrels out of 5. Waters is a gangster of constantly spouting profanity and surprisingly unbending principles, played exquisitely by Fiennes, who has you constantly second-guessing whether you should laugh or be afraid of what he’s saying. The best example of Waters’ chilling/charming style is seen during his final showdown with Ken atop the medieval splendor of the Belfry of Bruges where, after telling Ken he’ll forgive him for failing in his mission, he shoots him in the leg, saying “I had to do something, didn’t I?”

4. The Tough Guy: Malcolm McDowell as Alex in A Clockwork Orange (1972)
Bad-ditude: 4 smoking barrels out of 5. Unlike some of the other thugs on this list, Alex isn’t so much bad-ass as downright bad. And if it weren’t for the barfy side effects brought on by those government brainwashing techniques, there’s no doubt he would have still been putting his boot in the teeth of his pals by the end of the film.

3. The Tough Guy: Terence Stamp as Wilson in The Limey (1999)
Bad-ditude: 4.5 smoking barrels out of 5. Whether he’s blazing through a shoot-out or tossing a dude into a canyon, Wilson barely even blinks. That’s cold – but then, isn’t that the best way to serve revenge?

2. The Tough Guy: Paul Bettany as Young Gangster in Gangster No.1 (2000)
Bad-ditude: 4 smoking barrels out of 5. Bettany is chilling as a cold-blooded thug. Clad only in underwear, he brutally tortures and murders a rival gangster – using a wine bottle, an axe, an ice pick, a machete and a fruit bowl – then paints himself in his victim’s blood.

1. The Tough Guy: Michael Caine as Jack Carter in Get Carter (1971)
Bad-ditude: 5 smoking barrels out of 5. Carter relentlessly hunts down, plots and brutally murders scores of Northern English gangsters – you can’t get much more badass than that.
Given this list would your money be money on the Brits laying some slap arrse on the yanks. ?
not according to the list...
but following a convo i had with an american, we'd win in a straight-up, unarmed fight. because american gangsters "don't go out without weapons"
I thought that "Lord Dicky Luvvie Attenborough" was quite scary in "Brighton Rock" cor blimey guv he's got a chiv. :D
ub3rb0wl said:
not according to the list...
but following a convo i had with an american, we'd win in a straight-up, unarmed fight. because american gangsters "don't go out without weapons"
The film young Americans would contradict that school of thought.
It's a London gangster movie.
Matty0001 said:
Feck me i was about to watch "Gangster No.1" in a min. Anyone seen this?
It's a little bit trippy but very good.

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