Bringing ladies into Barracks

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by stubearatkins, Feb 28, 2007.

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  1. I know that in Phase 1 training this is obviously not allowed and very impossible.

    How about phase two training?

    What I mean is, after a club on a Friday night when I'm absolutely plastered do I take my nice lady friend round the back of the club or is it possible to bring her back to camp??

    Any experiences would be welcomed.
  2. If she's 'nice' then you shouldn't be touching her until you've met her parents, arranged a dowry and set a date

    If she's a rotten old slapper, then the alley behind Cheeks is all she deserves

    Your bed is sacred and shouldn't be shared.
  3. Depends if any of your muckers are on the gate. The crime is to get caught!
  4. If you've got the balls try and smuggle her in. Do the deed then kick her out without a word or taxi, and preferably don't tell her where the main gate is...walk of shame...
  5. Howayman, I like the way you think!
  6. If your in phase 2 trg it means you are sharing a room with another 9 blokes, one of them will be on guard, so offer him 2s up if he turns a blind eye.

    Alternatively, offer the Guard commander a test run.

    But seriously I would just give her one around the back of the club, or book into the local Travelodge, getting her to pay of course

  7. After your phase 1 training you will be homosexual anyway so why ruminate over past fantasies?

    The training staff will ensure you are well versed in the art of 'man desire' before launching you, fully conversant, into the mystical world of 'man loving'.

    It's a well documented fact that males give the best hand jobs and excel at French kissing other men, especially those sporting Mr Mercury moustaches.

    Women will make you so physically sick, your only escape will be a 5.56mm pain reliever.

    Whilst on guard.

    Admittedly I am not the best person to give advice on the former subject as I am a great fan of women (not fat ones though).

    Maybe someone from the RLC could give you the heads up?
  8. i assume you're using the term 'ladies' in the loosest possible sense on this thread??
  9. Make sure you show the girl how to pepperpot/dash/down/crawl properly before the next morning just in case the 9 Sqn sniper of one of his many imitators is about and mistakes her massive arrse for a fig 11 on the way back to the main gate.
  10. Dont bother taking it back to the block just nail it up the pumper behind the club. I find that if you stick their head's in three day old refuse they push back a little more! :cyclopsani:
  11. You have time to fornicate on Phase two training!!? ...back in my day blah blah blah!!!!!...why let her soil your sheets? and besides if your in your scratcher she'll only want a cuddle afterwards...

    no do her up the dirt box al fresco..then make your excuses and leave...dont go down on her if she's got the politburo in...the guard commander tends to drag you in and ask you who and where you have been fighting when you are trying to get back into camp!!
  12. If you do make the fatal mistake however of taking them back to your pit a sure fire way of getting rid off it after the deed is to fall asleep and swamp all over them, take it from me this is a dead cert to getting rid off any unwanted troll hopefully before your muckers see them, unless of course you've gone three way made and you can all share in the shame. :thumright:
  13. Get fcuked, that's my manor!
  14. You'll only know she's come when she drops her chips
  15. Good to see a young lad getting his priorities right. I'm pi$$ed off with reading posts in Health & Fitness and Training Wing saying "Oooooh. I ran my 1.5 miles in 17 minutes because they made me run on grass" or "I don't like running in the rain". Good lad - soldier on.