Bring Out Your hand shandies for windowlickers!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by filthyphil, Oct 21, 2008.

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  1. New Zealand Care staff 'told to help with masturbation'Article from: Font size: Decrease Increase Email article: Email Print article: Print October 22, 2008 02:13am

    AN investigation has been launched into claims by six former staff of a New Zealand disability services company that they were ordered to help intellectually impaired people in their care to masturbate.

    The company which employed the six women, New Zealand Care, has denied the claims but confirmed it is investigating them, the Nelson Evening Mail newspaper reported.

    Five of the six women have resigned since May.

    Nelson MP Nick Smith said he had lodged an official complaint with Health Minister David Cunliffe and was seeking an independent inquiry into the issue.

    "The allegations are so awful that it is difficult to believe they are true. I found all six women to be honest, genuine and totally believable,'' Dr Smith said.

    A spokesman for Mr Cunliffe said the minister's office hadn't received a complaint from Dr Smith.
    Ministry of Health health and disability services deputy director-general Geraldine Woods said the allegations were being taken "very seriously''.

    The ministry was alerted to the allegations by NZ Care yesterday and was seeking assurances that they would be promptly investigated and any appropriate action taken.

    One of the woman, Janet Gambell, said the orders were made during three staff training sessions over the past 18 months.

    Most of the sessions were spent discussing the masturbation issue, she said.

    Relationship and sexuality consultant Claire Ryan, who took the courses where the masturbation orders were allegedly given, said there was "no truth at all" in the women's claims.

    During the courses, ethical issues were raised and it was possible that the women had mistaken general discussion, meant to raise ethical issues, as orders, she said.

    She said that her advice around masturbation would be for caregivers not to help, as it was not their role, but she would support hiring sex workers instead.

    NZ Care group general manager Donna Mitchell said there was "absolutely no way'' that Ms Ryan, who was contracted to the company, had instructed any staff to help clients to masturbate

    However, she said she would be investigating the issues, including whether Ms Ryan was teaching appropriate material.

    The training sessions were supposed to be on how to appropriately deal with clients' intimate issues, such as bathing and going to the toilet, she said.
    Article from todays Daily Telegraph (Sydney). It seems the milllaaaar brigade will no longer be fobbed off with laboons and icecream!
  2. But what if someone tells our DNA diffy friends that there is a laboon downstairs and that is where ice cream comes from. :twisted:

  3. As if.
  4. Get your coat oldgoat, sounds like you've pulled.
  5. Maybe the caregivers group shoulld hire Joycelyn Elders as a consultant. Dr Elders was, relatively briefly, Surgeon General for Bill Clinton. She was removed after she advocated preventing AIDS by a program to teach teenagers to masturbate. She apparently thought they would not know how to do it on their own. Of course most of her experience was in Clinton's home state of Arkansas.

    Not directly related to this issue but I have run into many female officers over many years and no one has looked as awful in a uniform as Dr Elders. In the US we would describe her appearance as "50 pounds of sh*t in a 20 pound bag" For linky to Dr Elders info click here
    • Like Like x 1
  6. They need 3 training seshs to discuss wankin', FFS, glad to see the NZ Tax Payer is getting the usual VFM from the Private Health sector.
    I shall be donating my 'Pristine'* porn collection to my local Mong hostel with Post It note instructions attatched, it may keep them away from my local on a Friday night when a group of them insist on 'dancing' until the small hours. It's amusing the first few times, but the novelty of the 'Differently Able' doing the funky chicken soon wears thin.

    *Pristine as in the pictures are still discernable.
  7. She has certainly set 'the cat among the pigeons.' Radio talkback has

    been an absolute treat down here today.

    It is amazing how a story like this just grows its own legs and runs wild.

    According to some callers they are all set to 'do it' to music or is merely

    a device to deplete their energy levels to make them easier to control.

    Would you blokes mind if we borrowed your bus? We'd fill it several

    times over.

    Me? I think that I might just wander down to the nearest centre and

    'observe' a class or two. My Old Doc is always telling me to use it

    or lose it.
  8. I think it blew a gasket after the bloke had to sleep in his car in a hotel car park that time. The bloke at the back in the leather jacket is MDN waving his knob at the outraged.

    Attached Files:

  9. Turned you down then, did they?
  10. Strange that, I had always envisaged MDN as a very tall guy.

    Real life just disappoints. :)
  11. There's a height limit of 5'4" in the AAC to prevent negligence claims if blokes get Bigley'd by the rotors.
  12. Just three sessions? That's nothing. Arrsers have been discussing it constantly for about 5 years! :wink:
  13. I thought he meant the stuff he brought back from Kosovo. :?
  15. It may have resembled the funky chicken, but they were just trying to walk to the bar.