Army Rumour Service

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Bring back School Milk...

When you drank your milk, you could flatten out the foil cap and flick it like a frisbee using your "fuckoff" fingers.

Then there was always somebody collecting the foil caps in an old pillow case "for the blind dogs."

Aha ! a small piece of paper, crumpled up and chewed to about the size of a pea could be dipped in the inkwell, and then flicked by elastic band or a springy 12" ruler at somebody you didn't like. It didn't show on a dark blue blazer, so you tried to hit skin, or a white shirt.

Sports Days - all the teachers blotto on Pimms by 11 a.m. including the starter with the .455 Webley.

Pffft.

The acme of 1970’s classroom weaponry technology was a suitably adapted 12” ruler. I’ve just tried to make one to show and tell here but a) the only 12” ruler in the place is some shite, floppy “shatterproof“ job, not your good old stiff wooden job, and b) I couldn’t find a clothes peg, rubber band or drawing pin. What happened to draws full of all that kind of stuff?

Anyway, written instructions:

Take one 12” ruler, it must be rigid or the launch system tensioner will just bend the ruler and you’ll blow your balls off.

Put a drawing pin through one end ( the “muzzle” end) and loop an elastic band under it.

Attach a clothes peg to the other end, pull the elastic band back and hold it under tension beneath the clothes peg.

Load with projectile of choice, dried pea, road grit, inky paper, rolled bogies etc. placed just in front of clothes peg / band.

To fire, open the clothes peg.

Write out “I will not act the c*nt” 100 times, lined paper, best handwriting, during afternoon break.
 
I call walt. There’s not a ******* chance of back pay. If you’d served in the Cub Scouts you’d know that the rank structure was Cub Scout, Seconder, Sixer and Senior Sixer. Cub Scout Leader? My arrse. Next thing you’ll be turning up on Remembrance Day with a woggle and a sewing badge on your sleeve.

Dib Dib Dib

There must have been some changes.

I don't remember any 'Senior Sixer' level. Sixer was as high as a 'Wolf Cub' (Cub Scouts didn't exist) could aspire. I think that a Sixer got two yellow bands for his mum to sew onto the sleeve of his jumper to denote his rank. The colour of the six of which you were a member was denoted, in a vaguely 'Dachau chic' way, by an appropriately coloured felt triangle attached to the upper sleeve (another little job for mum).

There was something to do with two small metal stars affixed to the cap, on either side of the 'Wolf Cub' badge. I can't quite remember for what these were awarded. LS&GC?

The leader of the Wolf Cub pack was 'Akela' and his/her various underlings and assistants were addressed by various 'Jungle Book' names.

Apart from the 'Grand Howl' ceremony at the start and the end of every meeting, there was a particular ceremony for cubs moving on into the Scouts, which involved stepping over a rope in front of the assembled Cub pack and the Scout troop. I think that there was a massive piss-up at the conclusion of the ceremony, but I may have misremembered this detail.

If you were a serious paedo, you went on to the Rover Scouts at the end of your time with the Scouts.

Girls didn't get into the Cubs or the Scouts back then. They had their own Brownies and Guides.

It was a hugely popular thing to be a part of. The pack to which I belonged was subdivided into two distinct units with distinguishing Indian tribal names and there was still a waiting list to get in.
 
Pffft.

The acme of 1970’s classroom weaponry technology was a suitably adapted 12” ruler. I’ve just tried to make one to show and tell here but a) the only 12” ruler in the place is some shite, floppy “shatterproof“ job, not your good old stiff wooden job, and b) I couldn’t find a clothes peg, rubber band or drawing pin. What happened to draws full of all that kind of stuff?

Anyway, written instructions:

Take one 12” ruler, it must be rigid or the launch system tensioner will just bend the ruler and you’ll blow your balls off.

Put a drawing pin through one end ( the “muzzle” end) and loop an elastic band under it.

Attach a clothes peg to the other end, pull the elastic band back and hold it under tension beneath the clothes peg.

Load with projectile of choice, dried pea, road grit, inky paper, rolled bogies etc. placed just in front of clothes peg / band.

To fire, open the clothes peg.

Write out “I will not act the c*nt” 100 times, lined paper, best handwriting, during afternoon break.

Rulers eh? used by both sides in the war. Circa 1969 our teacher's favoured means of chastisement was a wooden yardstick on the back of one calf (school uniform was short trousers/dresses)
 
Cross country running in our lot consisted of running round the playing fields that were conveniently fenced off. Anything else and we'd have just buggered off for the rest of the day.

One school I ended up in had a Christmas and Easter church service where the entire school was marched down to the church. 300 or so would leave the school and a slack 70 or so would end up at the church. I'd have loved to have seen a drone picture of the route.

reminiscent of Jerry marching our POWs westward in the face of the Soviet advance
 
Does anyone remember what schools had before Gestetner duplicating machines?

The posts in this thread have reminded me of it - everytime one entered the school office one was confronted with the mysterious words NIG BANDA plastered across the side of the machine.

1601370292634.png
 
Does anyone remember what schools had before Gestetner duplicating machines?

The posts in this thread have reminded me of it - everytime one entered the school office one was confronted with the mysterious words NIG BANDA plastered across the side of the machine.

View attachment 508186

Roneo copies that always smelled of methylated spirit? The print always faded too.

ETA That looks like the stencil paper for the forced-ink process. The more copies the stencil was used for, the fuzzier the print.
ETAAA I wonder if, on the packaging, they were having a go at Hastings?


Sent from my karzi while losing several pounds
 
Last edited:
There must have been some changes.

I don't remember any 'Senior Sixer' level. Sixer was as high as a 'Wolf Cub' (Cub Scouts didn't exist) could aspire. I think that a Sixer got two yellow bands for his mum to sew onto the sleeve of his jumper to denote his rank. The colour of the six of which you were a member was denoted, in a vaguely 'Dachau chic' way, by an appropriately coloured felt triangle attached to the upper sleeve (another little job for mum).

There was something to do with two small metal stars affixed to the cap, on either side of the 'Wolf Cub' badge. I can't quite remember for what these were awarded. LS&GC?
...
Senior Sixer wore 3 stripes on left sleeve: think lance jack, full screw, Sergeant.
The two stars were for progression through the ‘test’ programme - 1st Star, then 2nd Star - not the proficiency badges.
They were said to represent the opening of a cub’s eyes as new experiences and life skills were learned.
 
There must have been some changes.

I don't remember any 'Senior Sixer' level. Sixer was as high as a 'Wolf Cub' (Cub Scouts didn't exist) could aspire. I think that a Sixer got two yellow bands for his mum to sew onto the sleeve of his jumper to denote his rank. The colour of the six of which you were a member was denoted, in a vaguely 'Dachau chic' way, by an appropriately coloured felt triangle attached to the upper sleeve (another little job for mum).

There was something to do with two small metal stars affixed to the cap, on either side of the 'Wolf Cub' badge. I can't quite remember for what these were awarded. LS&GC?

The leader of the Wolf Cub pack was 'Akela' and his/her various underlings and assistants were addressed by various 'Jungle Book' names.

Apart from the 'Grand Howl' ceremony at the start and the end of every meeting, there was a particular ceremony for cubs moving on into the Scouts, which involved stepping over a rope in front of the assembled Cub pack and the Scout troop. I think that there was a massive piss-up at the conclusion of the ceremony, but I may have misremembered this detail.

If you were a serious paedo, you went on to the Rover Scouts at the end of your time with the Scouts.

Girls didn't get into the Cubs or the Scouts back then. They had their own Brownies and Guides.

It was a hugely popular thing to be a part of. The pack to which I belonged was subdivided into two distinct units with distinguishing Indian tribal names and there was still a waiting list to get in.
AKELA, remember it well. Ours always seemed to enjoy introducing wrestling to the activities when camping in the woods. Usually quite late at night after the parents had gone home...8O8O8O8O

And was it purely coincidence that the First Aid Kit was located in Akela's tent..:omg::omg:
 
Last edited:
BFO cast iron things that you see now in reclamation yards going for £00’s. They had 72 layers of paint on them, all lead based, and the first layer was applied when Victoria was a lass.

The unadulterated pleasure of coming in after a really good snowball fight (wearing shorts) to the steamy fug of the classroom and the teacher going mental because the chalk had all gone soft in the high humidity. Laughter as she smeared chalk paste all over the board was met with a supersonic board rubber bouncing off the side of your nut and the chore of banging out the chalk dust from it on the outside wall.

In the last year at Primary, The Big Boys were given responsibilities for various jobs to keep the janitor from doing them, freeing him up to interfere with himself and smoke rollies all whilst hollering unintelligible oaths at the kids on account of the speech impediment all janitors seemed to come with. One of those tasks was keeping the massive coke fired boiler in a shed out the back operating at white heat to power the radiators. It was a cushy number as you got sent out of class to stoke it up if the classroom started getting chill (just below the sun‘s surface temperature) and could spin it out to avoid algebra and share a filched Woodbine with your mate.

The payback was pre lunch hand inspection. Stood in a line, palms down, and as the teacher walks the line, you turn your hands over on command. The kids on boiler duty were always picked up for dirty nails so back to the changing rooms, oddly, the only unheated part of the school, and wooden backed nail brush and coal tar soap till your fingers bled. Little pumice stones that looked like sugar mice. Ink stains on your fingers.
With that little dit and all others so far contributed, I'm thinking there's a Book Deal in this.

I've bagsied first dibs and informed my publisher.
 
Did he tell you that it was a 'very secret' test for which there was no badge awarded?
Not that I recall. I just remembered his breath stinking of Gentian Violets...
 

Yokel

LE
Only on ARRSE could a discussion about giving free milk at school to the kids transform into a collection of L/Cpl Jones like "but it was a good life" type tales.

When I was at school, you had to start at six to get the boilers going. You then got caned for having dirty fingernails, and made to wash your hands and face with wire wool and vim, before spending an hour peeling potatoes. You had a breakfast of gruel, and then into lessons where if you fell asleep the teacher threw a bucket of water over you. Then the PE teacher would hit you in the guts with a cricket bat to see if you could take it....... But it was a good life.
 
Last edited:
Only on ARRSE could a discussion about giving free milk at school to the kids transform into a collection of L/Cpl Jones like "but it was a good life" type tales.

When I was at school, you had to start at six to get the boilers going. You then got caned for having dirty fingernails, and made to wash your hands and face with wire wool and vim, before spending an hour peeling potatoes. You had a breakfast of gruel, and then into lessons where if you feel asleep the teacher threw a bucket of water over you. Then the PE teacher who hit you in the guts with a cricket bat to see if your could take it....... But it was a good life.
And forgetting your PE Kit would result in you having the word 'Dunlop' on your backside six times after receiving said punishment from the PE teachers preferred weapon of choice.

Oh how we laughed...
 
I just read the last few pages. A cracking read that had me in hysterics.

We had a nurse at school and whilst she thought she was a cross between Flo Nightingale and Dr Finlay she was just a SEN with zero diagnostic skills or prescribing rights. You knew when anyone had been to see her as they had purple patches all over them having been liberally painted with Gentian Violet. Slight cut - GV: cholera -GV: leg fell off - GV.

We had a smartarse kid who thought he could get off cross country by showing up to school in his hobnailed army boots (from cadets) and no plimsolls (or beamers as they were known). No problem says psycho PE teacher, you can run it in your boots. He did. He came last by about six hours and was carried over the finishing line half dead. His feet looked like two pounds of offal poured into some old tramp's boots.

The same PE teacher seemed inordinately fond of slippering young boys. And modern dance - he wrote a ballet about robots. He is probably doing a life stretch in the nonces wing at HMP Wakefield now.
 
There must have been some changes.
According to Wiki, the Wolf Cub name was dropped to Cub in 1966. I think my days in the 1st Wymeswold Cub Pack would have been 1969-74 or thereabouts; we were Cubs

From memory, I achieved the dizzy heights of Seconder; never troubled the promotion board beyond that. Never joined the Scout pack; couldn’t see the point as it didn’t mix with the Guides.
 

New Posts

Latest Threads

Top