Army Rumour Service

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Bring back School Milk...

PFGEN

GCM
I am a lot younger than the old timers in the thread posting about the good old days of beatings and buggery, but why did they always have cross country running in the middle of winter, and things in a windowless gym at the height of summer?

The never gave you maps, or marked to route, so how were you meant to know the route? No warm ups, no warm down, no water provision....

Cross country running in our lot consisted of running round the playing fields that were conveniently fenced off. Anything else and we'd have just buggered off for the rest of the day.

One school I ended up in had a Christmas and Easter church service where the entire school was marched down to the church. 300 or so would leave the school and a slack 70 or so would end up at the church. I'd have loved to have seen a drone picture of the route.
 
At our primary school anybody who pissed themselves had to go and fetch the school skirt. They were then forced to wear this for the rest of the day. No undies were provided. After this intro to forced cross dressing a number of the lads went on to become booties.
Bloody hell. At my boarding school, which was mostly male but had some girls as day pupils, one lad forgot his dazzers for swimming and had to go in the pool in the bollocky buff. That would be child abuse now.
 

Biggish

Swinger
I loved milk until I discovered where it came from.
I merely tolerate it now. If I want a mouthful of liquid that’s been produced by a large ruminant with luxurious eyelashes

Etc...
 

Sexton Blake

War Hero
There was a boy in my class who would get out of cross-country running by getting three or four Refreshers in his mouth then make foam come out of his nose and corners of his mouth to look like he was having a fit. Eventually the smell gave him away and he was slippered almost to oblivion...
Gordon Bennet it has taken me about 10 minutes to finally stop laughing at that dit! Effing brilliant!

Some folk say that there is no such thing as a sugar rush. Bollocks to them. They have obviously never stuffed their mouth with as much Space Dust (4 packets was the school record) as physically possible for it to then be instantly ‘washed down’ by necking 4 consecutive bottles of Cresta pop.

‘It’s frothy man’ doesn’t even come close to the violent eruption of saliva, snot and other ‘matter’ that would spout forth from the willing volunteer only to be seen later in the playground looking like a tramp spice addict of today totally fcuked up and primed for any passing teachers wrath.

And kids today cry themselves to sleep because of global warming. Gits, the lot of them.

Sorry, was this supposed to be about milk?
 
I was ink monitor, would I have outranked you?
No, ink monitor was a local rank and not in every school, milk monitor by virtue of a national government act. Not only would I have outranked you but my girlfriend was have outranked yours.
 

Sexton Blake

War Hero
No, ink monitor was a local rank and not in every school, milk monitor by virtue of a national government act. Not only would I have outranked you but my girlfriend was have outranked yours.
Where does Cub Scout Leader fit into this rank structure please? I might be entitled to some back pay.

I was 7 years old so possibly grandfather rights?
 
Where does Cub Scout Leader fit into this rank structure please? I might be entitled to some back pay.

I was 7 years old so possibly grandfather rights?
I call walt. There’s not a fucking chance of back pay. If you’d served in the Cub Scouts you’d know that the rank structure was Cub Scout, Seconder, Sixer and Senior Sixer. Cub Scout Leader? My arrse. Next thing you’ll be turning up on Remembrance Day with a woggle and a sewing badge on your sleeve.

Dib Dib Dib
 
Don't forget the duffel coat; normally fastened batman style round the neck when parents weren't looking.

And the duffel bag. Usually tartan, like a mini kit bag with white rope straps that were ideal for dragging your adversary to the ground.

As for milk, we must have been blessed with kind teachers; summer saw them laying a wet towel over the milk to keep it cool.

Summer. Is it me or were summers hotter and longer and winters longer, colder and more richly endowed with snow than today or is it my imagination? The whole school going bonkers waiting for the mercury in the little weather station on the science room windowsill to hit 100F in 1976? None of that centigrade shit, that was for wogs, which were pretty generally understood to start at Calais.
 

Sexton Blake

War Hero
I call walt. There’s not a ******* chance of back pay. If you’d served in the Cub Scouts you’d know that the rank structure was Cub Scout, Seconder, Sixer and Senior Sixer. Cub Scout Leader? My arrse. Next thing you’ll be turning up on Remembrance Day with a woggle and a sewing badge on your sleeve.

Dib Dib Dib
You got me bang to rights. I was hoping I would be in with a chance as it was pre JPA but you sussed me.
 
And the duffel bag. Usually tartan, like a mini kit bag with white rope straps that were ideal for dragging your adversary to the ground.

As for milk, we must have been blessed with kind teachers; summer saw them laying a wet towel over the milk to keep it cool.

Summer. Is it me or were summers hotter and longer and winters longer, colder and more richly endowed with snow than today or is it my imagination? The whole school going bonkers waiting for the mercury in the little weather station on the science room windowsill to hit 100F in 1976? None of that centigrade shit, that was for wogs, which were pretty generally understood to start at Calais.
Can’t imagine a bus driver asking the kids to get of his bus and push it up the hill happening today. Happened in 1979.
 
Quite a few references here about the correlation between school milk and ‘storage’ next to radiators.

I don’t know what your remembrance is but at my primary school the rads must have been powered by molten lava pumped up directly from the earths core.

How we didn’t get jail time for tying up classmates to a radiator ‘for a laugh’ during breaks is beyond me.

Kids today, hurumph etc.

BFO cast iron things that you see now in reclamation yards going for £00’s. They had 72 layers of paint on them, all lead based, and the first layer was applied when Victoria was a lass.

The unadulterated pleasure of coming in after a really good snowball fight (wearing shorts) to the steamy fug of the classroom and the teacher going mental because the chalk had all gone soft in the high humidity. Laughter as she smeared chalk paste all over the board was met with a supersonic board rubber bouncing off the side of your nut and the chore of banging out the chalk dust from it on the outside wall.

In the last year at Primary, The Big Boys were given responsibilities for various jobs to keep the janitor from doing them, freeing him up to interfere with himself and smoke rollies all whilst hollering unintelligible oaths at the kids on account of the speech impediment all janitors seemed to come with. One of those tasks was keeping the massive coke fired boiler in a shed out the back operating at white heat to power the radiators. It was a cushy number as you got sent out of class to stoke it up if the classroom started getting chill (just below the sun‘s surface temperature) and could spin it out to avoid algebra and share a filched Woodbine with your mate.

The payback was pre lunch hand inspection. Stood in a line, palms down, and as the teacher walks the line, you turn your hands over on command. The kids on boiler duty were always picked up for dirty nails so back to the changing rooms, oddly, the only unheated part of the school, and wooden backed nail brush and coal tar soap till your fingers bled. Little pumice stones that looked like sugar mice. Ink stains on your fingers.
 
Log Tables and Slide Rules were all we had. First calculator I used was a mechanical job called a Friden when I went into the drawing office early 70's. The size of a typewriter and made a hell of a racket in operation, especially when doing square roots.

Aviation equivalent. Front side for calculating air speeds and headings as affected by wind to give ground speed and track across the ground.
D1131AA2-C8A0-4B56-84BC-119C5915E784.jpeg


And back side for conversion of units etc.

AFC8AD48-89B0-4632-9E3B-F252AA4D6FA9.jpeg


And yes, I still use it . I also don’t know how to get the images the right way up.

Those two facts tell their own story.
 
I call walt. There’s not a ******* chance of back pay. If you’d served in the Cub Scouts you’d know that the rank structure was Cub Scout, Seconder, Sixer and Senior Sixer. Cub Scout Leader? My arrse. Next thing you’ll be turning up on Remembrance Day with a woggle and a sewing badge on your sleeve.

Dib Dib Dib
I’m afraid you’ve got the password for entry wrong - 3 times - so you’re locked out.
‘Cos I’m kind, I’ll give you a hint for next week.
It’s ‘Dyb’.
 

New Posts

Top