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Bring back School Milk...

But always with the foil top pierced by a local sparrow.

Tits...




Not Sparrows...
 

NSP

LE
Weapon of choice in my school was the dreaded (large) paper clip reshaped into a U and fired off with leccy bands strung together. These fekkers could go through a sheet of A4.
We used to stretch a 'laccy band between forefinger and thumb as the paperclip "catapult. I launched one at a passing seagull that had just taken off from the PE changing room block roof. I was a bit too heavy with the lead and the paperclip was set to miss ahead. Gully dips a wing, turns head and snatches the thing out of the air and straight down its throat.

I imagine it died somewhat horribly as a consequence.
 

Dr Death

War Hero
I loved it.

For all those in the Croydon Shooting Thread carping on about how shit School Milk was....
I remember Margret Thatcher - The Milk Snatcher
1601312050858.png

Thatcher abolished free milk for children aged 7–11 in 1971.
 

Yokel

LE
There was a boy in my class who would get out of cross-country running by getting three or four Refreshers in his mouth then make foam come out of his nose and corners of his mouth to look like he was having a fit. Eventually the smell gave him away and he was slippered almost to oblivion...

I am a lot younger than the old timers in the thread posting about the good old days of beatings and buggery, but why did they always have cross country running in the middle of winter, and things in a windowless gym at the height of summer?

The never gave you maps, or marked to route, so how were you meant to know the route? No warm ups, no warm down, no water provision....
 
I always used to piss my pants after drinking the milk. There was a chest of drawers at the back of the class with the brown trousers, accidents for the use of, and spare cacks. The times I went home in them with my pissed breeks in a bag were legion.
 
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Dr Death

War Hero
I am a lot younger than the old timers in the thread posting about the good old days of beatings and buggery, but why did they always have cross country running in the middle of winter, and things in a windowless gym at the height of summer?

The never gave you maps, or marked to route, so how were you meant to know the route? No warm ups, no warm down, no water provision....
Oh don't carry on Mother you will have me feeling sorry for todays pampered spoilt brats.
Seems telling teacher its your monthly circle or that you split a nail/had a wnak gets you off PE these days.
In my days it was fecking cold runs, lukewarm showers after and back to school beating the 4 minute mile.

One teacher who was decent but a complete nutter had a league table of the boys & girls who had had the slipper or cane, the winner at the end of the year got a mention in assembly - now that was cool in the 1970's.
 

goodoldboy

MIA
Book Reviewer
I am a lot younger than the old timers in the thread posting about the good old days of beatings and buggery, but why did they always have cross country running in the middle of winter, and things in a windowless gym at the height of summer?

The never gave you maps, or marked to route, so how were you meant to know the route? No warm ups, no warm down, no water provision....
Didn't need maps because the PE teacher was at the front of the column and one of the other sadists was at the back. Black shorts, plimsoles and singlets so you had to run to keep warm. No warm-ups, drinks or anything like that, oh no...

Edited to add: the slipper for the last six to really warm their arses!
 

NSP

LE
I remember Margret Thatcher - The Milk Snatcher
View attachment 508016
Thatcher abolished free milk for children aged 7–11 in 1971.
Treasury policy that she was actually opposed to but forced by others to enact. In fact, that milk wasn't removed from all kids in the 1971 budget was down to Thatcher's opposition to the policy.

 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
I am a lot younger than the old timers in the thread posting about the good old days of beatings and buggery, but why did they always have cross country running in the middle of winter, and things in a windowless gym at the height of summer?

The never gave you maps, or marked to route, so how were you meant to know the route? No warm ups, no warm down, no water provision....
Character building, you ungrateful wretch!
 

PFGEN

GCM
I always used to piss my pants after drinking the milk. There was a chest of drawers at the back of the class with the brown trousers, accidents for the use of, and spare cacks. The times I went home in them with my pissed breeks in a bag were legion.

At our primary school anybody who pissed themselves had to go and fetch the school skirt. They were then forced to wear this for the rest of the day. No undies were provided. After this intro to forced cross dressing a number of the lads went on to become booties.
 
I hated school milk when it had stood out in warm weather. In winter it was lovely, but warm it tasted awful.

Forty-five years later I still have a hatred of room temperature milk. I love it icy-cold or boiling hot, but room temperature is disgusting.

Anyway, as has been mentioned the delightful Mrs T. scrapped school milk, and I have noticed that as I step outside of my front door there are thousands of waifs-and-strays with deformed limbs and other Rickets induced deformities laying in the streets. I keep tripping up over them, as they cry "a penny for milk guv'nor!" and other assorted Dickensian bon mots.

There they lie, with their legs and arms bent at odd angles, decent folk tracing paths around them to avoid falling over on their Rickets raddled limbs. Hundreds of thousands of them, all around the country. I'm sure the situation must be the same where you live.

Oh. Hang on a second! No it isn't true! There aren't any of the poor Rickety tykes laying in pain or shuffling carefully around the streets. I do believe I was having a flashback to the news in the early-seventies when left-wing types were predicting the impact of the Great Baroness' policy decision.

My mistake. Sorry.
 

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