Brilliant Obituaries

#1
God rest the Soul of LCpl Cochran, 1 Mercians, and all respect to him and his family.

But I couldn't stop a little smile when I read this from his CO

L/Cpl Cochran's friends described him as having a heart of gold, being totally unselfish, and having the worst dress sense in the Battalion
Absolute Gold.

Possibly the best from beyond the grave was Gnr Millingtons, written on his gravestone:

"Here lies Spike Milligan. I told you I was ill."


Any others out there in Arrseworld?
 
#4
"Not dead but sleeping - whose he kidding?" has appealed to me...

A lad in my village was killed in an agricultural accident - one of the things everyone mentioned at his funeral was his abysmal dancing style and his spray on squaddie-style white jeans.
 
#6
Gungythree said:
The cunt still owes me a tenner
Poor tropper...so young...so young.
 
#7
MrShanklysboots said:
Possibly the best from beyond the grave was Gnr Millingtons, written on his gravestone:

"Here lies Spike Milligan. I told you I was ill."
Only permitted by the humour-deprived of the Chichester Diocese after it had been translated into Irish Gaelic (I know he had one of their passports, but he could have picked a civilised version of the tongue ...)

Duirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite.
 

Grownup_Rafbrat

LE
Book Reviewer
#8
Not on a headstone, but on the order of service for the comedian known as Hovis Presley

'As good things go,

He went.'
 
#10
Mr_Baiter said:
Not quite an obituary but quite a write up

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_Wintle

Thoroughgoing lunatic - I think he's been mentioned here somewhere before.
"He was soon planning his escape from the Southern General Hospital back to the front, bizarrely choosing to attend a nurses only dance in their billets, disguised as a nurse, before finally making his escape. He recorded, however, that his monocle was a dead give-away, and that the particularly unpleasant Matron was suitably unimpressed with his antics."

:D
 
#12





I quite like this one though, it's rather quintessentially British:

CAT, PETER (THE), whose ninth life ended on 5 November 1964, was a well-known cricket watcher at Lord's, where he spent 12 of his 14 years. He preferred a close-up view of the proceedings and his sleek, black form could often be seen prowling on the field of play when the crowds were biggest. He frequently appeared on the television screen. Mr SC Griffith, Secretary of the MCC, said of him: "He was a cat of great character and loved publicity."
http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/...g-tales-from-the-annals-of-wisden-413057.html
 
#13
Mr_Baiter said:
Not quite an obituary but quite a write up

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_Wintle

Thoroughgoing lunatic - I think he's been mentioned here somewhere before.
Wintle then attempted to steal an aircraft (with which he intended to invade France) and upon being prevented, he threatened a bureaucratic officer with a gun. For this he was imprisoned in the Tower of London. On the way to his prison, the Lieutenant colonel was escorted by a young soldier via the train. The soldier is reported to have lost the arrest warrant and, disgusted by this, Wintle declared the man incompetent, told him to wait where he was and went to get a new warrant. Seeing that there was no other officers of higher rank at the warrant office, he signed the paper himself.

Awesome.
 

udipur

LE
Book Reviewer
#14
Those were halcyon days in the 1990's with the Big Breakfast. Not only did you get a fair gaze at the lovely DVO over your cereal but there was the added bonus of JV reading out obits that had caught his attention.

In his eye bulging way, he would read the highlights of military endeavours, oft lost in history, as survivors of some horrendous campaigns gently faded away one last time.

My favourite was the RM orifice who stood up on the beach in Normandy, whilst everyone else was fornicating the sand for protection from the lead filled air, in order that his men had a clear idea of where to look for instruction and therefore who to follow. Plums of titanium.
 
#17
Yup it is! :D :

"Then sharp at eleven Guardsman McKie, detailed as my servant, would arrive from the officers' mess with a large whisky and ginger ale. He would find me already spick and span, for though I have a great regard for the Guards, they have not the gift to look after a cavalry officer's equipment."

"Stop dying at once and when you get up, get your bloody hair cut" - Wintle to Trooper Cedric Mays (Royal Dragoons), who recovered and lived to the age of 95.

"Great War peace signed at last." - Wintle's diary, 19 June 1919; "I declare private war on Germany." - Wintle's diary, 20 June 1919
 
#19
It was said about a Brigadier of the old school,(name escapes me),
that he only had three descriptions of people he met...they were
splendid chap
lovely gel
or not my cup of tea.
 
#20
"Stop dying at once and when you get up, get your bloody hair cut" - Wintle to Trooper Cedric Mays (Royal Dragoons), who recovered and lived to the age of 95. The stuff of Ripping Yarns."I think you know what to do".
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
floppyjocky The NAAFI Bar 18
A The NAAFI Bar 5
quiller The NAAFI Bar 8

Similar threads

Latest Threads

Top