breaking wind

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Detmold_Drunk, Nov 10, 2007.

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  1. Detmold_Drunk

    Detmold_Drunk War Hero

    do you become lighter or heavier after you fart
  2. blindfire

    blindfire Guest

    surely this depends on whether you have that warm liquidy sensation of shite running down your legs as you have inadverdently followed thru :(
    In this case then yes you have defo become lighter.
  3. loopallu

    loopallu Old-Salt

    that sounds like the voice of experience 8O
  4. blindfire

    blindfire Guest

    Actually no I have never mastered that particular trick.

    One of my mates did once whilst we were walking thru Stevenage town centre - hadn't even been drinking.
  5. Stevenage town centre can have that kind of effect on you, especially after dark and the local chavs have had a few Smirnoff Ices. :D
  6. Interesting question. A smell is actually particles so when you smell a fart that is actually material that has been in someone's arse going up your nose, so if you lose particles then you must be lighter. But then, maybe the fart is giving you some lift so its complicated - a little internal Zeppelin.

    Young paras used to think it was funny to have mega eggs and cabbage on a Friday plus 15 pints of Guinness in London, and then go into the lifts in Harrods on the Saturday and crack them off while surrounded by middle aged Dames.

    And they were right. It is funny :)
  7. blindfire

    blindfire Guest

    SS was a long time ago - early 80's so it wasn't soooo bad. Was on a course with british aerospace there on rapier - 4 months living in a hotel there - hard times I tell you :D
  8. pardon.

    sorry coat hat taxi.
  9. naguere

    naguere LE

    I know that if you jump in the air holding your arms up and out and your legs far apart, forming a star, then fart,

    It really really hurts your ring. :eek:

    MAD_FERRET War Hero

    if this is the case that you become lighter after a riproaring conversation stopping fart, wonder about the effects in say, space?

    Your already weightless, but once the fart is out maybe with the warm air you could float higher?

  11. blindfire

    blindfire Guest

    Surely this will depend on where you are aiming :? :?

    If you are facing earth and let loose an arrse splitting roaster then surely you will move closer to earth - a form of propulsion so to speak.
    In fact NASA should look into this as a form of space travel - colud save on carrying loads of fuel :D
    Maybe I should patent it?

    MAD_FERRET War Hero

    indeed, sit all the astronauts in a rocket the night before, give them a skin full and a dead rat kebab and the following morning.. voila!!

    Patent? dunno, it all seems hot air to me :)
  13. Vesper

    Vesper Swinger

    Actually I believe this goes by the principle of Newtons law so it would act as a form of propulsion.

    Perhaps we should contact NASA with this brilliant discovery? We could recommend guinness & beans as a diet for astronauts & save them billions on technology!

    I remain &tc,

  14. Vesper

    Vesper Swinger


    MAD_FERRET War Hero

    yet again, bored squaddies solve the worls problems...

    whats NASA's number?

    I reckon we are onto something

    Maybe l can PVR after all....