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Auld-Yin

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#1
SCOTLAND DIES LAUGHING

TRIBUTES are being paid to Scotland this morning after the entire
country laughed itself to death.

The alarm was first raised at around 10pm last night as thousands of
phone calls and text messages went unanswered.

Small groups of volunteers from Berwick-Upon-Tweed and Carlisle
ventured north just after midnight only to find houses full of dead
people gathered around still blaring television sets.

By dawn, as RAF helicopters flew over deserted city streets, it was
clear that the whole country had suffered a catastrophic abdominal
rupture.

Wayne Hayes, a special constable from Northumberland, said: "We
went into one house in Dunbar and found three men sitting on the sofa
with huge smiles on their faces, still holding cans of 70 shilling. They
seemed to be at peace."

He added: "In a house near Edinburgh we found a man face down on the living room floor with his trousers and pants round his knees.
"It seems he may have been showing his bare buttocks to the television when he keeled over."

Roy Hobbs, a civil engineer from Northampton, said: "I got a call from my friend Ian in Stirling at about 9.50pm. "He was already laughing when I answered the phone, but after about 25 minutes of the most vigorous and
uncontrollable hilarity, everything suddenly went very quiet."

Moving tributes are already being placed along the Scotland-England border with many mourners opting to leave a simple bag of chips or a deep fried bunch of flowers.
not my work unfortunately by FasF :twisted:
 
#3
Still bitter I see. And so do tell, when did Scotlands brave XI last qualify for a major footballing contest, let alone win one.

I guess the servants always laugh when the master falls down.
 
#4
RIP English football, I never knew you mate but we're all..

Sorry, wrong thread
 
#6
England are gash and have been for years. Overhyped overpaid and a bunch of whankstains, not forgetting the small minded ingerlander supporter.

Non league football is where its at.

FCUM.
 
#8
bobath said:
Still bitter I see. And so do tell, when did Scotlands brave XI last qualify for a major footballing contest, let alone win one.

I guess the servants always laugh when the master falls down.
Just remember the 'servents' were the first team to thrash the 'masters' arrse after THAT game in 1966, and they did it on the same pitch a year later!

Oh how we laughed that year!

Just remember, Scotland were beaten by a dodgy decision, England were beaten by a better team from CROATIA, that well know powerhouse of European football!
 
#9
bobath said:
Still bitter I see. And so do tell, when did Scotlands brave XI last qualify for a major footballing contest, let alone win one.

I guess the servants always laugh when the master falls down.
When was the last time the Scottish media went into a feeding frenzy because a mere mortal had the temerity to fail to live up to their ridiculous over-hype?

Or, to quote that famous Tartan Army song, "We're shite, and we know we are". Nobody supports Scotland for the football.
 
#10
quote: Just remember, Scotland were beaten by a dodgy decision, England were beaten by a better team from CROATIA, that well know powerhouse of European football!


Not quite true is it. Scotlands inability to qualify has nothing to do with dodgy decisions (except the one to allow their offside goal and disallow a good Italian one). It has more to do with losing to Ukraine and the mighty Georgia.

True Englands failing last night was an inept performance against Croatia again, but if they had not drawn against Macedonia and Israel they would not have been in that position and last nights game would have been a dead rubber.
 
#11
smartascarrots said:
bobath said:
Still bitter I see. And so do tell, when did Scotlands brave XI last qualify for a major footballing contest, let alone win one.

I guess the servants always laugh when the master falls down.
When was the last time the Scottish media went into a feeding frenzy because a mere mortal had the temerity to fail to live up to their ridiculous over-hype?

Or, to quote that famous Tartan Army song, "We're shite, and we know we are". Nobody supports Scotland for the football.
Well Christ they don't support the rugby team do they? Not exactly a powerhouse in the sport.
 
#12
bobath said:
Well Christ they don't support the rugby team do they? Not exactly a powerhouse in the sport.
We don't expect them to be, we just hope they'll surprise us. If you (and especially your fuckwit pundits constantly expect your national sides to rout the opposition in an unbroken string of triumphs, you'll take a few knocks to the old morale, nicht wahr?

Edited to add: 'you' was meant in the impersonal, general sense, not against your good self..
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#13
bobath said:
smartascarrots said:
bobath said:
Still bitter I see. And so do tell, when did Scotlands brave XI last qualify for a major footballing contest, let alone win one.

I guess the servants always laugh when the master falls down.
When was the last time the Scottish media went into a feeding frenzy because a mere mortal had the temerity to fail to live up to their ridiculous over-hype?

Or, to quote that famous Tartan Army song, "We're shite, and we know we are". Nobody supports Scotland for the football.
Well Christ they don't support the rugby team do they? Not exactly a powerhouse in the sport.
Neither is England, it would appear. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#14
Auld-Yin said:
SCOTLAND DIES LAUGHING

TRIBUTES are being paid to Scotland this morning after the entire
country laughed itself to death.

The alarm was first raised at around 10pm last night as thousands of
phone calls and text messages went unanswered.

Small groups of volunteers from Berwick-Upon-Tweed and Carlisle
ventured north just after midnight only to find houses full of dead
people gathered around still blaring television sets.

By dawn, as RAF helicopters flew over deserted city streets, it was
clear that the whole country had suffered a catastrophic abdominal
rupture.

Wayne Hayes, a special constable from Northumberland, said: "We
went into one house in Dunbar and found three men sitting on the sofa
with huge smiles on their faces, still holding cans of 70 shilling. They
seemed to be at peace."

He added: "In a house near Edinburgh we found a man face down on the living room floor with his trousers and pants round his knees.
"It seems he may have been showing his bare buttocks to the television when he keeled over."

Roy Hobbs, a civil engineer from Northampton, said: "I got a call from my friend Ian in Stirling at about 9.50pm. "He was already laughing when I answered the phone, but after about 25 minutes of the most vigorous and
uncontrollable hilarity, everything suddenly went very quiet."

Moving tributes are already being placed along the Scotland-England border with many mourners opting to leave a simple bag of chips or a deep fried bunch of flowers.
not my work unfortunately by FasF :twisted:
Now...THAT was funny!
 
#15
Biscuits_AB said:
bobath said:
smartascarrots said:
bobath said:
Still bitter I see. And so do tell, when did Scotlands brave XI last qualify for a major footballing contest, let alone win one.

I guess the servants always laugh when the master falls down.
When was the last time the Scottish media went into a feeding frenzy because a mere mortal had the temerity to fail to live up to their ridiculous over-hype?

Or, to quote that famous Tartan Army song, "We're shite, and we know we are". Nobody supports Scotland for the football.
Well Christ they don't support the rugby team do they? Not exactly a powerhouse in the sport.
Neither is England, it would appear. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
But then 2 appearances in the Rugby World Cup final is not to be laughed at, is it, especially as we won one of them. When was the Scotland team, at rugby or football, last in a World Cup final???? :muhaha: :muhaha:
 
#16
What do you expect from a team of Wankers. England should be sponsored by Andrex,as they are Soft,and Very Expensive :lol:


Personally I thought the Ref had a good game. :wink:
 
R

really?_fascinating

Guest
#17
Yes, move along, nothing to see here. Good to see that Scotland took great delight in England's pathetic performance.

Did Scotland qualify? Do they have any professional footy teams yet? The reason I ask is because I have no interest in the achievements or otherwise of Scottish football.

I think it is lovely that you have adopted one of our sports and taken to it so well.

Ah, to be so bitter that you delight in the pain of the big successful nation to the South. Have another slice of shortbread and some nice Irn bru and drop off to sleep. You might dream of William Wallis and all those other plucky Scottish losers.

Oh and thanks for all the cheap oil. Very kind.
 

Auld-Yin

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#18
Still not too hard to pick up a lot of bites from those south of the Border. :D
 

Sixty

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#19
Auld-Yin said:
Still not too hard to pick up a lot of bites from those south of the Border. :D
Perhaps a wee maroon beret for his teddy A-Y?
 

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