Breaking News North Korea

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by jim24, Mar 1, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. jim24

    jim24 Book Reviewer

  2. Shame he's not:

    Looking at the inside of a coffin lid
    Looking at daisies from underneath
    Looking at a life sentence

    :)
     
  3. Lets hope he never gets the chance to...

    Look at pushing big red button.
     
  4. "Looking at paint samples" - Priceless

    For all other things, there's communism!
     
  5. "Our Dear Leader, looking at glass."

    Haha! =-D
     
  6. And when you think things are bad here............ there`s North Korea!!!
     
  7. Looking at chocolate...I don't think so! The geriatric old git is nicking it! Look at that store detective go...straight to the North Korean Gulag type thing that is...
     
  8. I believe the chubster in the last couple of photographs is the "annointed" one, who takes over when Dad finally heads off to that great utopia in the sky. The poor sods in N Korea have decades of this sh*t ahead, unless they follow the recent N.African lead.
     
  9. [​IMG]

    "What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read... if they can't even fit inside the building?"
     
  10. He's not looking at things. He is in deep thought about his achievements.

    According to the North Korean news he is:

    Kim Jong Il, who besides being North Korea’s Dear Leader is also the Supreme Commander of its Revolutionary Forces, was a star runner, swimmer, horse-rider, chessman and bridge player as a youth (as any good party member knows). But his greatest sports ability is no doubt lies on the green. According to North Korean news media, Kim Jong Il is a scratch golfer, having scored 38 under par in his very first try at the game.

    We’re all Forrest Gumps compared to Kim Jong Il’s rate of childhood development. According to official North Korean biographies of the Dear Leader, Kim learned to walk by the age of 3 weeks, talk by 8 weeks, and he wrote his first manifesto on the future of the Korean people by the age of 2 years.

    “In 1964 he graduated from the Kim Sung Il University where legend has it he wrote 1,500 books, all of which are stored in the state’s library. It is also said that he wrote six operas, all of which are better then any in the history of music.”

    Despite what you’ve been told, the North Korean government has stated that it was the Dear Leader who invented the microwave oven, the radial tire and the hologram (all apparently before he reached the age of 6, as these are technologies that appeared in the mid-1940s just after Kim’s birth).

    Yes folks: Kim Jong Il (who, if you didn’t know, is also General Secretary of the Workers’ Party of Korea) was born under near messianic circumstances. If official reports are to be believed, the Dear Leader was born on the top of Mount Baekdu. When he was born, two rainbows split the clouds, and a new star appeared in the sky that made the Korean peninsula’s nighttime visibility brighter. Some sources even say that at the moment of Kim’s birth, a monster appeared out of the ocean and sang the Korean national anthem.


    And you think he spends all day looking at things!!!!
     
  11. Not got the most extensive wardrobe, couple of jackets, and pair of trousers that don't fit.
     
  12. [​IMG]

    "There's Wally!"

    "Er..., right again, Exalted One..."
     
  13. Eh, shouldn't that be...

    Rooking at grass?