Breaking bad news?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by vvaannmmaann, Aug 21, 2011.

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  1. How should I inform the present wife that I have just spent £2000 on some shiney kit for the Landy 90?
    She is no great lover of the landy,having spent several hours driving up from Cornwall,and she is of the opinion it should be scrapped,owing to the fact it is noisy windy and smelly?
    ( I think the smell is Mackeral,due to the previous owners passion for fishing)
    Any thoughts?
     
  2. Are you the man of the house or a fucking door mat?

    Walk in slap the bitch, bend her over the sofa and kick her back doors in whilst giving her some hefty kidney punches. :)
     
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  3. I'd inform her that she is on her last warning... love the landy or fcuk off.

    Once she is out of the picture man can be with his second best friend.

    third best being the internet dating agencies and lots of sex craved teens/early 20's.
     
  4. ''she is of the opinion it should be scrapped,owing to the fact it is noisy windy and smelly'' If 'she' the landy thinks this then you
    should respect her wishes and divorce
     
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  5. Why tell her? Just let her moan her tits off about the thing while you sit there smugly, knowing that the new half-ton of shoes she was wanting to waste that money on won't be getting bought.

    And why should she have an opinion anyway, women know nothing of driving.
     
  6. You are aware that putting chrome chequerplate over the rust doesnt' actually fix it, it just hides it?

    Don't worry we all do it.
     
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  7. My wife is also noisy, windy and smelly - you have my sympathy ...
     
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  8. No I wasn't, erm, that explains a lot.
     
  9. So what's the bad news?
     
  10. I once went to look at a second hand 110, really nice, TD5, Quadtech body, WARN winch / lights / air compressor etc; good spec vehicle for a good price. Huge chequer panels up the doors and sides, covering pretty much all of the vehicle up to the window line. I asked the guy why, he said "I just think it looks good, toughens the doors up a bit too". Then noticed they were bolted on, not riveted, so I thought 'it can't hurt to inspect the body work underneath'. Asked him, he said 'yeah sure', took the door interior panels off, had the bolts out and took the plate off.

    Upon removing the drivers door plate, literally about half the door came off with the plate, leaving a huge brown rusty jagged edge where there was once a door.

    Suggested he bought a new door and left. He tried the 'you break it, you buy it' tactic, I reminded him that what was still stuck to the chequer plate panel was 99% rust 1% door, and that if he genuinely thought I had done that in the 1 second it took me to take the panel off, he was definitely in the wrong business.
     
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  11. As for the wife bit, just take her dogging in it. Convince her that the upgrades have improved it's dogging performance. If she enjoys dogging, then your problem is solved for life. You can buy anything you want for it and just convince her it will allow you to go dogging in more hard-to-reach and remote areas than ever before.
     
  12. Are you still married?
     
  13. Not now. :)
     
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  14. I once had a convertible TR7 which was a beaut. My wife decided that it had to go as she wanted a car she could drive. It broke my heart but I sold it. 12 months later we were divorced. I've since remarried but I was never able to get another Convertible TR7 in such good nick.
    Lesson learned, wives are replaceable faithful cars aren't.
     
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  15. what was the two grand of kit you brought? I have a Discovery which I have just put back together and am considering spending some money on. Mainly underbody protection for the steering and diffs, new front and rear all metal bumpers and a decent size roof rack at the moment. Might go for a front bumper winch in the future. I'm also monitoring this thread for a decent excuse to use on my missus when I spend the money although I might just go for the look just just bugger off strategy. :)