Bravo too stupid

[Forces_Sweetheart]

The News of the World
June 29, 2003


A TOUGH-GUY actor who stars in SAS roles has lost the plot by bedding a real life SAS hero's girl-while the elite soldier was fighting in the Gulf.

TV star Rick Warden, 35, -who appeared in the film of Andy McNab's Gulf War I story Bravo Two Zero-plucked up courage to chat to opera singer Lucy, 28, at a showbiz party in London.

Rick-who also starred in Band of Brothers as a World War II hero-was seen bravely kissing her outside the bash. But he was branded Bravo Too Stupid when he continued his mission and took Lucy home to occupy the bed she shared with her SAS lover in Putney, southwest London.

The 29-year-old SAS lieutenant-13 stone of finely-honed muscle and trained to kill with his bare hands-is a little upset with Rick.

He knew something was wrong when he returned from the Gulf-after spending two months undercover in the desert hunting for weapons of mass destruction.

Instead of waiting for him with open arms, Lucy was distant and withdrawn. He discovered the affair when he saw an e-mail from Rick asking Lucy: "Hey Sexy, I think I remember you saying you love me. Is this a good time for me? Do you love him? If you do that's OK, I can live with that."

After learning the truth the soldier-whose ID we are protecting because he is a terrorist target-went on one of his routine 15-mile runs around Richmond.

Like all soldiers in the regiment-motto Who Dares Wins -he has been trained how to break a man's neck or snap his windpipe with his bare hands.

When Baghdad fell, he sent Lucy a picture of himself celebrating beside a statue of Saddam...never dreaming a man like Rick was back home moving in on his childhood sweetheart.

But amazingly-not to be outdone-Rick had the cheek to send Lucy a picture of himself in SAS uniform, also in the desert, during his part in Bravo Two Zero.

A fellow soldier of the SAS officer said: "This guy Rick has got to be the biggest pillock in Christendom.

"An SAS soldier, at the peak of fitness and full of war-borne testosterone, risks his life for his country and comes home to find some thespian bonking his fiancee."

Nicknamed Buzz Lightyear by comrades-because of his piercing blue eyes, heroic jutting jaw and muscular physique-nobody can understand why Lucy has left him.

"He is the all round, good looking, all-action hero with a very good brain," added the pal. "Rick is just a toy soldier.

"My mate hasn't taken any revenge-yet. He is a very disciplined man with a cool head.

"A great believer in the saying that revenge is a dish best served cold."

 

[PartTimePongo]

Bin the slut

With his credentials, pulling top totty shouldn't be a drama

Still think yer man deserves a slap though  

 

[Prodigal]

Mmmmmm, that's the second time I have heard of an opera singer two timing her soldier man for another 'artiste' whilst he was away AND under his very nose.................once is a coincidence, twice is a little careless.......

 

[PartTimePongo]

Bloody hell, I hope it's not contagious

Better be extra nice to the missus  :-/

 

[Prof]

Where do soldiers get to meet opera singers?  I've never met any down our local.  Having an opera singer as a girlfriend, what a pleasure, she could sing to me in the bath and I'd always know where she was at night.
Mind you, most of the opera singers I have seen, you would need a big bed and a car with reinforced springs.

 

[PartTimePongo]

Well Opera singers (in my limited experience) are wonderful, but they have tempers   Must be the strain or something. believe me, after a while, you retreat to the bathroom, because the voice goes right through your head

But it is pleasant, and she's certainly no fat lass,and a bit stunning as those who have met her can testify

Mind you, she can't cook worth a damn  

 

[foggy_balla]

A previous Mrs Foggy (attached, not technically Mrs!) did a similar job on a younger me several years ago.  Waited until I was in England on a course and then moved the bugger into our house.  As much as I wanted to wrap her in a bin-bag and throw her into Belfast Lough, on the advice of my brother I bade my time.  About a fortnight later, we waited until the two of them went out and the two of us emptied the contents of the house - right down to the cutlery.    Dozy bint changed the front door lock, but not the back.  Seeing how my name was still on the lease, and I had a key, I don't think it was technically burgalry (any lawyers out there feel free to comment!)  Oh aye, and my brother did a pee in their kettle which was left boiling for cuckoo and the scrubber!

 

[Gingerwhinger]

Foggy,

Spectacular.  

Revenge is a dish best served cold...

Was it anyone I know (ie related to the crowd that hung around TH?)

 

[foggy_balla]

Nobody you know mate, it was in the mists of time before T.H.  I did meet the current missus Foggy through contacts up there mind.  She may be built like an opera singer, but alas sings more like a bricklayer. (or is it the other way round?)
I wonder if there's mileage in a revenge thread?  Might provide a reference for future scornings!

 

[Gingerwhinger]

Revenge is good.

And it works at all levels. For example one (early) morning after a drunken sess on the Golden Mile one of my mates, who had consumed a large quantity of Harp, tried to find his way out of the front room to get to the bathroom. However having not the foresight to open his eyes and find the door he decided that he would just let rip with the main vein where he stood which, unfortunately, was right over where one of the other lads was sleeping.

Of course it woke him up but he was a bit soft and just lay there and took it (maybe thinking it was a bad dream?!?!). Upon being told of this dreadful act I decided that punishment should be meted out.

The offender had left his nice new Kickers lying in the front room after he had managed to find his way to the door and get to his own bedroom. Feeling the need to urinate I emptied the bladder into both shoes. Not satisfied with this punishment I got his toothbrush and give it a good wick around the toilet bowl (I actually feel a little guilty about that one considering the state the bowl was in).

Ok a point would be that nothing had been done to me but my friend did feel better after his revenge by proxy.

The original offender then wore his Kickers around Queens for the rest of the day. Eventually he asked 'Here mate, did I piss in my shoes last night? They're a bit wet'. Oh how I laughed!

 

[Gunny Highway]

Why didn't you just punch him?  Always works for me.  As for the SAS chap, he couldn't do any better then telling the slapper to 'fcuk off slag' and then having a nice, friendly one-2-one with this actor chappy.  Wonder how much work an actor can get with two black eyes?  But I suppose in true SAS tradition, the officer can't chance getting kicked out of the Regiment if the said actor goes crying to the coppers.  So, to re-cap, the officer should be glad the actor has stolen his girlfriend, cos if she does it once, she'll do it again, slag.  Better off without her.

 

[Ex-Squidgy_STAB]

I thought all troop officers in the SAS had to be of the rank of Captain or above?

Is this true?

 

[Gingerwhinger]

Humping,

Why didn't you just punch him?  Always works for me

That was my first reaction on being told what happened however the scumbag had already locked/fallen asleep against the door of his room and was not available for immediate retribution.

However the feeling later in the day that he thought he'd pissed his own shoes and wore them all day was immensely more satisfying.  

 

[Prodigal]

cos if she does it once, she'll do it again

quite.........the example I gave above, she had done the deed several times (with different fellow artistes) before he found out.......oh, did I mention they were married with children?

I like the idea of a revenge thread!! let's start one!

 

[BriteGirlie]

Hey, it's not just men who are betrayed y'know!

My first true love was a...... errrrrrrm,.... squaddie!  :-[

Went out with him for two and a half years and put up with lots of opposition from his family (what is it about squaddies mother's and sisters?),.... well he was engaged to somebody else when I met him (bassa didn't tell me though!)

Two and a half years down the line (with him in Germany and me in the UK) he called to say that he was going on exercise and would call me when he got back.  Yep, he went on exercise alright,..... he got married to some girl he'd gotten pregnant!  He didn't bother telling me, didn't have the guts,..... his sister told me some seven weeks later, in a crowded pub!

I didn't feel the need to 'get revenge' for his stupidity,... less than a year after he'd married her, he was on the phone crying that he'd made the biggest mistake of his life.... and he asked me to take him back!!!!!!! Bloody cheek or what?  I won't tell you what my reply was, but the second word was 'off'........  

Then two years ago, I was getting ready to go out for the evening, when somebody knocked at my door,.... I opened it and guess who was standing there?  Yep, him!!!  We hadn't clapped eyes on each other for over 14 years,..... and his eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw me!  (bear in mind, I was going out for the evening!)  He was full of compliments, unable to believe that I didn't look much different from when he'd last seen me..... and that I was still as laid back as ever!

I got the "I still love you" and "My feelings are still the same after all these years" thing off him, and the "If only I could turn back the clock",..... he'd split from his wife, now the father of three children,.... like I was gonna be interested?.

I did the decent thing,...... invited him for coffee, told him how fat he'd got, how different he looked now that his hair was thinning and how marriage didn't look as if it had been too kind to him over the years! Hahaha, well whaddya expect me to do,.... be nice?  

Once somebody has betrayed your trust in a relationship,...... they're not worth taking back, not under any circumstances!

 

[Prof]

wow, women really are quite scary aren't they?

 

[BriteGirlie]

wow, women really are quite scary aren't they?

Nahhhhhh not really!  :

 

[westwinger]

Where do soldiers get to meet opera singers?  I've never met any down our local.  Having an opera singer as a girlfriend, what a pleasure, she could sing to me in the bath and I'd always know where she was at night.
Mind you, most of the opera singers I have seen, you would need a big bed and a car with reinforced springs.

When Queen Victoria went to Covent Garden to watch Aida, she was unimpressed with the chorus. She said that they were puny beyond belief and that the Royal Opera House should employ "her Guards" instead.

This continued for many, many years. Guards officers would routinely take their platoons and appear in the opera.

General Charles Guthrie, when he appeared on Desert Island Disks, spoke warmly of his appearing at Covent Garden with Callas.