Boy Racers

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Sabre, Jan 8, 2005.

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  1. Whilst driving into work tonight i got cut up but some idiot who nearly took my front wing off my car, The general term to describe these people are boy racers.

    The lad couldnt have been more than 17 years old, and looked so oily that Macdonalds must have employed him to lick the Fat Friers clean at night

    I noticed his exhaust was the size of a drain pipe and this being on a 1.2ltr Vauxhall nova!! Is there any need for it??

    Whilst i can understand the need for the youth of today that a car is a status symbol, and they take pride of there transport, is it actually worth spending all there student grants for neon lights/F1 racing exhausts etc.. to go under such a crap car, that most of them will crash in the first year of owning it.

    Maybe them taking advanced driving lesson might be of more use not just to them but to us other road users who have to make violent manovers to make sure we dont crash from there recklessness.

    Before anyone starts no i am not a sunday driver of a morris minor who drives down the motorway at 25 mph either.
  2. but they need the pipe sized exhausts etc to impress the white lightning drinking, mayfair smoking 13 year olds who hang out by the corner shop while attempting to drive around and around and around the market car park. i will stop now.
    i fcuking hate gary boys / boy racers :evil:
  3. shoulda followed him till he stopped then rammed that 6in diametre exhaust up his ring peice then see how it sounds!!! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

    agent smtih
    nice :?
  4. Tossers the lot of them.
  5. Has anyone attempted to remove one of those large-bore exhausts by force?

    There are a few such altered automobiles within earshot of my home. I have entertained fantasies of sneaking out at 5am and stamping on as many of these exhausts as possible until they are dislodged or bent to ground-scraping level!

    Alternativley, are there any recommended "inserts"? :twisted:
  6. How about taking a bottle of wife beater (empty obviously for dutch courage and desired effect :D ) break of the fat end so that if you poured water into the nozzle it would escape from other end.

    Take broken bottle and ram it up the exhaust broken edge first. Push it all the way in so that the bottle is hidden from plain view. This should act as a restiction point for the exhaust gas and alter the frequency of the exhaust gases leaving the backend.

    Resulting sound is somewhere around the "look at my souped up car, making a gay squealing noise" level and will remvee any credibility that the said boy racer had! :D :D :D

    agent smith
  7. A very Large Baking Potatoe rammed in with the side edge of a 5lb lump hammer seems to do the trick.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    D.D. :twisted:
  8. Amateurs! Try popping down wickes and picking up a few cans of expanding foam it will fill up the exhaust and if you put it far enough in it's A. they won't be able to see it B. They have to get a new exhaust back box. :D :twisted:
  9. Ahh, the memories...not of my car (never been able to afford a decent 1 - violins at dawn)...but of one of the lads on my old troop.
    Daddy had bought him an Audi A3 (and insured it for him), young laddie then spent all his wages on doing it 'up' i.e. turning quite a smart car into a heap of neon sh!te. Spent so much that he had to borrow money to put petrol in the monstrosity.
    Then he used to complain when he kept getting stopped for speeding, banned at the age of 18 after picking up all his points in a 6 month period.
    Still it was funny when he went to gaze at his car on the Gym carpark, only to find out somebody had keyed it (very popular chap, he was).
    I'm a particular fan of the Vauxhall Nova 1.1 with so much body kit/stereo/playstation/DVD stuff on board he can reach a top speed of 45mph.
    Boy Racers = C0knokers
    Rant over. AR
  10. Funniest response to one of these lunatics requires a little planning. Either search the web, or visit your local hunting/fishing shop. Buy 1 x packet of plastic ball bearings (the type used for toy BB guns, generally 1000 per packet). Pour entire contents of said bag into tail pipe of offending vehicle. Result? Exhaust still (unfortunately) emits sad growl, but spotty oik driving gets so irate at consistent rattling and popping, he has to have complete exhaust system removed to sort it!

    Possible additional benefits - if sad geek has failed to fit some form of device to deal with back-pressure created by use of clutch at v. high revs, high possibility of said plastic BB's finding their way back through exhaust valves into cylinders, causing interesting results!!

    Well, so I've been told anyway!! :lol: :twisted:
  11. ViroBono

    ViroBono LE Moderator

    I am told that milk poured into the air vents of a car will produce an interesting and lasting aroma after a few days. Combined with one of the objects above in the tailpipe much amusement could be had at the expense of the chav driver.
  12. Bit naughty but nevermind. How about a butane gas cylinder popped far enough into the back box. I ahve been told that it takes around and hour or so for the gas to explode, cue large explosion as exhaust, fuel system petrol tank and said @sshole goes to that scrapyard in the sky.

    Been told it works, would love to see it done on the shiitebags that fly past my house every fricking night!!,. :evil: :twisted:
  13. A bit naughty? :wink:
  14. What would happen if some of the brown stuff (dog or human) was inserted?

    Would it spray everywhere on the first rev?

    Or would it bake like a cake, with a characteristic faecal odour.

    Either way, Wayne or Gary would surely suffer a loss of street cred! :twisted:
  15. Ping-pong ball inserted into the fuel tank.. when stationary with engine off the ball floats no problem. When suction from fuel line occurs from high-revs the ball blocks the line. (So I'm told) Result being car stalls, only to restart with no problem. :twisted:

    Also marble in a prtrol tank make a load of noise... v expensive to get removed