Boy hanged in woods.

Discussion in 'Current Affairs, News and Analysis' started by sillyboy, Oct 27, 2009.

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    Very tragic unfolding and evidently a parents worst nightmare. About halfway down though it has fired in the now ubiquitous 'the children are being offered counselling' statement and it did make me wonder ?
    Is it possible to gauge what someone needs by way of counselling dependant on circumstance ?

    ie, the poor little bugger has had an accident, evidently in a quiter spot where no one, especially his classmates or peers had the misfortune to witness, this alone would, to me suggest that the active mind of a 10/11 year old would quite happily associate the death as a result of an accident and be rightfully upset as to this, this however would differ massively if he had died publicly, and distressingly, in view of a number of the group.
    What Im getting at is do we encourage further expulsions of grief related emotion by instilling a 'counselling fixes all' mentality at such a young age ?

    If it had been my child at the school id be reluctant to expose him/her to such a session and would engage them myself as parents rightly should before making a further assessment as to engaging other agencies, Im accutely aware of the effects of such an incident on vulnerable minds but the counselling option raises its head more frequently as of late, and in some cases (granted, its offered by request) seemingly goes some way to replace the minds need to actively deal with traumatic experience and thus learn from it accordingly, Im not suggesting a counselling by merit scheme but if you were stood 2 carriages down when the bomb went off as opposed to being stood across the street from the tube when the first casualty appeared then at some point sensibility has to take over.

    Im certainly no stranger to having to swallow hard at the sight of something unpleasent as I suspect most here arent but just find it interesting to see how much it is encouraged across the board for everyone to seek out a metaphorical crutch to face what are essentially ever increasing events that we come across personally..
  2. In my former employment whenever I spoke to someone who had been in a critical incident, a common reply was "Mate, I was O.K until the fcuking shrinks had a talk to me". The standard psychobabble they got from counsellors was "Yeah, you say you're alright now, but you should be feeling this and this and this". If anything, these poor b@stards felt like they'd been talked into it.
  3. meridian

    meridian LE Good Egg (charities)

    You are right, there seems to be an ever increasing propensity for handing out counselling like boiled sweets, regardless of need.

    People are different, some can just put horrible sh1t to one side of their brain and some will suffer horribly.

    I think the challenge is to make sure the people who need it get it and those that don't aren't made worse by endless talking about it

    Its not an area of expertise but I would, like you, be reluctant to let my kids talk to so called counsellors
  4. I was at junior school when the Aberfan disaster occurred. The headmistress walked in to the normal school assembly (you might remember those things) and told us quite simply that there had been a disaster, that there had been many deaths and injuries, and that we would now say the Lords Prayer for them. Counselling done.
  5. Same with some soldiers really, Ive shared a room with a guy who had been malleted in Belfast and after a few months on the mend was wrapped round a lampost after coming second against a truck when on his bike, not a mumble from him, ever. Same room, different guy was on all sorts for depression and med centre sessions every week after his wife wandered off with a local ? Sad and unfortunate events for both but true indicators of a persons coping mechanism
  6. Yep, 'tis bizarre how some deal with kiddies exposed to worrying events. My daughter was a "victim" aged around 7 or 8. She was interviewed by the police and a small piece was written in the local rag. What happened was this:

    Immediately prior to the incident: She was walking along the pavement (outside her friend's home) behind her two friends. A grumpy old woman, with a small dog, approached them. The small dog "went for" her friend's cat and the grumpy old woman hit the cat with her walking stick. They were upset by the woman hitting the cat.

    The incident: A middle-aged man, wearing shorts, approached the 3 young girls. His penis was exposed out of the leg of his shorts and he wiggled hs hips to emphasise this. Then he ran away. Someone reported the flasher to the police and the kids were interviewed. They described him as being dressed in white shorts with blue stripes, blue socks and brown shoes. Yes, I know, dreadful fashion-sense!!!

    I asked my daughter how she felt. She was concerned that her friend was upset at her cat being hit. She wasn't at all bothered by the flasher and pointed out that she was walking behind the other 2 girls and was not wearing her specs.

    This, I reckon, is the strange bit: Some time after, I attended "parents' evening", to discuss her progress with her teacher. The teacher handed me my daughter's drawing of the flasher, saying "It is odd that ***** has drawn the stripes on the shorts diagonally and her friends have drawn them vertically. Would you like to take the picture?". 8O :omfg: It transpired, the day after the "incident", in school, the girl's teacher got the girls to each draw a picture of the flasher. :omg:
  7. That is f*cking scandalous !

    (However Im assuming a convent school would have been beckoning if you'd have been presented a full colour scribe of a meaty treat with a full head exposed ?)

    And theres the rub really, repeated 'exposure' to the incident itself will invariably evoke further reaction, apparently therapists made a mint post 9/11 from people who'd watched from office windows and rooftops, not sure how to view that really.
  8. This all reminds me of a piece that Private-Eye did a few weeks ago Linky, where child protection services are being 'warned' of the dangers of satanic abuse (SA). In all of the previous investigations of SA, (remember Rochdale, Orkney, Et Al) where Social Services brought in these 'experts' who had the job of counselling these 'victims', children were unnecessarily removed from their homes on 'evidence' of sustained SA. It later transpired through various public inquires/Police investigations that the 'Counsellors' were leading the children in interviews and in some cases suggesting incidences that had never happened and placed false memories in the children, by convincing them that simple forgotton memories had been blocked because of parental/family abuse.

    It now seems that the SA 'experts' are slowly regrouping and are trying to convince the clinical psychologist world in the UK again that SA is active and is rife, and that the un-trained just cannot see it.

    It's a shocking practice of creating fear where none exists and harrassing innocent adults (and children) by inventing crimes and abuse that is not evident by using non-clinical and much doubted techniques.

    There's too much of it in my view and no counselling should be given to any minor without the express permission of the parents/guardians, and if those parents/guardians are under suspicion then some mechanism involving trained police officers (Not by SA advocates!) and/or magistrates and appropiate lay-people in a case-study enviroment should be used.
  9. Load of bollucks, as usual.

    Story - Bw1 when 14 went on a foreign school trip for three weeks during which his best mate, who was an asthmatic and was banned from swimming, sneaked off to the local lake and drowned himself about half way through the three week trip. Us grammar school boys were a bit subdued for about a day, then wanted to get on with the holiday, sad but heigh ho we're on hols. The Masters, however, were moping around for weeks and the Art Master (had my suspicians about him) had a complete breakdown and had to be sent home. We boys thought this was all frankly over the top, our mate knew he should'nt have gone off on his own to go swimming so it was his own fault, and just thought it was a bit strange and frankly embarrassing that everybody was still going on about it.
  10. Are you suggesting he murdered him?
  11. Nah, just a bit effete for a Yorkshire Heavy Woollen District state Boys Grammar School...
  12. Im of the assumption that their reaction to the incident possibly either stemmed from (A) the amount of sh*t they were in or, (B) a realisation that their possible failings resulted in the boys death.

    Equally as tragic I watched an hirsute uncle f*ck a redhead from behind in full technicolour glory in his kitchen when I was 10, shocked and disturbed as I was for a while afterwards it later triggered a w*nkathon that is just petering out over 20 years later.
  13. meridian

    meridian LE Good Egg (charities)


    Just a quick question

    Why the fcuk are we having a sensible conversation :D
  14. I ran out of crack Saturday morning and after a couple of days of cluck cluck I am now reborn..
  15. Yep, don't treat them like they can't cope or have to be weeping.
    A few years ago my nephew and his mate were staying with us (both aged 15) and I took them to a river to go fishing. Not being my bag I was finishing a book sitting in the car when they came steaming out of the woods having found a suicide hanging from a tree. El Ploddo came and took name rank number etc.
    I then took boys aside and told them we had made a tactical mistake in not nicking his motor bike first and for not kicking the twat as he had done the job in a place much visited by kids.
    That night they rang home and my brother (ex-mortars) gave his lad a bollocking for not leaving the stiff for a few days so that he could have had some decent maggots for the fishing.
    Followed up by a beer and a chat from uncle Dwarf about selfish tw@ts who hang themselves without money in their pockets and job done.

    Next day I had to go down to the nick to complete a statement and to have the statutory interview with the shrink. Told her I was ex-HM Finest and she said that's OK then and ended up giving me HER life story. I should have charged her for the counselling session! :lol: