Boxing - am I really fucked?

Discussion in 'Sports, Adventure Training and Events' started by hammy123, May 1, 2011.

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  1. Ive entered into a boxing tournament in aid of ABF and H4H. Now, Im not a boxer, never boxed before unless you count the odd bout of milling. Im 40 years old and Ive been drawn against some 24 year old lad who is lighter than me but a more experienced boxer.

    Now, a couple of questions:

    1) How well and truly am I going to get fucked over?
    2) Anyone know of a crash course in boxing I can complete in 19 days?
    3) Ive raised 4K in sponsorship, would it be better just to pay it myself and not get decked in front of family and friends?
    4) If anyone wants to go, its at the Fed Brewery in Newcastle on the 20th of May.

    Any help would be much appreciated.

    Im shitting myself
  2. You've £4k, emigrate.
  3. Take a dive in the first.

    But do the decent thing and let the sound of the opening bell die away before you throw yourself at the canvas.
    • Like Like x 2
  4. Your only hope is locking yourself up and watching ALL of the Rocky films .... Failing that, opt for a charity skydive instead. It sounds safer for you :)

    P.S nice work on raising so much cash!
  5. maguire

    maguire LE Book Reviewer

    try not to do that in the ring, now that **would** be embarassing. ;)

    seriously, good luck, and remember it's for a good cause.
  6. 1=You're going to get knacked.2=No!.3=Well done for the raising of 4K,i'm sure someone will get you to casualty.4= No thanks mate i gat out of breath just watching.Is there any free ale on?.5=Are you shagging that Jordan horror?.Best of luck.
  7. Keep your chin down so you don't damage your face, look at the three peaks (head and shoulders) try and see him fight to learn how he moves. Get a good gum shield (opro gold is great). Be aggressive (milling should help with this xD) use your size, you should be able to hit harder, keep your range and land good shots, I'm small bloke so if I was fighting you I'd be trying to get in on you inside your effective range then pound your body so you need to keep him back) if your taller try hooking over his block, if you have seen the fighter you might seen the technique work low then work high etc. Incredibly basic technique but works well, try and look on YouTube and Internet for boxers your size and see how they fight. If your not experienced you need to learn how to keep yourself relaxed but aware, breathing techniques etc. This will help you concentrate and see when he drops his guard etc. Also try get a decent ringside to help you between rounds.
    I'm not a pro that's just what iv picked up the short time iv done boxing. Obviously still learning :)

    I am like a mushroom, fed shit and kept in the dark; i know nothing.
    Sent from my iPod touch using ARRSE so excuse random "spellchecking"
  8. Oh and well done for raising so much and I hope you have a good time :)

    I am like a mushroom, fed shit and kept in the dark; i know nothing.
    Sent from my iPod touch using ARRSE so excuse random "spellchecking"
  9. maguire

    maguire LE Book Reviewer

    and gis a linky to your charity page, will ya? we've took the piss, it's only fair we bung a couple of quid your direction.
  10. It will be amateur boxing, which means the ref will stop the fight if you are getting a pounding. Usually gives two standing counts before sacking it completely.

    Try a sneaky punch to his bollocks if it all becomes a bit to much.
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Give him a swift kick in the nuts, hold up your hands and say, "I love this Thai Boxing, me!"
    • Like Like x 2
  12. go preemptive, wait at the end of his bed with a length of scaff pole and remind him he is going to lose, no matter what

    then pocket the 4K and make him stump up 8K to cover you both
    • Like Like x 2
  13. Fack "Rocky", get yourself in front of the DVD and watch "When We Were Kings". 8 Rounds against the ropes and I reckon you'll have him ripe for the taking! Oh and make sure you tell him you're gonna dance and that he cant hurt a fly when the ref is giving you his directions!

    Cannot fail!!!
  14. Get through the first round by staying away from him and using your longer reach. Then when the bell goes and he walks back to his corner, hit him on the head with your stool.

    Say you thought it was 'Anything Goes.'
  15. take your own gloves??