Box of Snow

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by BarkingSpider, Dec 3, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I sent the wife a box of snow for Christmas.

    Then I said "Did you get my drift?"
  2. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Your DavidCameron and I claim my £5.00.

    By Sat., 31st Dec 2010

    Class 1
    Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
    Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
    Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..

    Class 2
    Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
    Round Table Discussion..
    Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

    Class 3
    Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
    Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 4
    Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
    Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

    Class 5
    Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
    Examples on Video
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
    At 7:00 PM

    Class 6
    How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
    Help Line Support and Support Groups.
    Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

    Class 7
    Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
    Open Forum.
    Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

    Class 8
    Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 9
    I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

    Class 10
    How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
    Driving Simulations.
    4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

    Class 11
    Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield .
    Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

    Class 12
    How to Shop by Yourself.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    Class 13

    How to Drive Your Sons Hockey Team to a Game Without Making Them All Seasick.

    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    Upon completion of ANY of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
  4. A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, he made sure that she had a go on every ride there. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "I meant dress size fuckwit, dress size!"
  5. Since it's been snowing my missus keeps peering through the window.

    If it gets much colder I suppose I'll just have to let her in!
  6. TheresaMay

    TheresaMay LE Moderator DirtyBAT


    Well we both fancy the lovely Rachel Stevens....
  7. Are you looking at my Rachel? Take your leering eyes off her or I'll...