Botty Burps....

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by uncle_vanya, Sep 21, 2012.

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  1. This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in the marriage, was the husband's habit of farting louldy every morning when he awoke.

    The noise would wake his wife, and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off. because i was making her sick.

    He told her he couldn't stop it, and that is was perfectly natural. She told him to see a Doctor, she was concerned that one day he would low his guts out.

    The years went by, and he continued to rip them out. Then one Christmas Morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner, and was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts. A malicious thought came to he. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

    Later she heard her husband waken up with his usual trumpeting of botty burps which was followed by a blood curdling scream, and the sound pf frantic foot steps as he ran into the bath room. His wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing. Tears rolling down her eyes, after years of torture, she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

    Some time later her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her li[ and she asked him what the matter was? He said... "Honey you were right, all those years you warned me and I didn't listen to you" "What do you mean?" asked his wife.

    "Well, as you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the Grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in!!"
  2. I'd heard it before, but not told anywhere near as well. Nice one
  3. Shame B-g Dog wasn't around to hear that one. I'm sure he would have giggled at the bit about the giblets. RIP.
  4. He'd have just breathed them in. He'd eat anything that dog, he had a few bits of a glass ashtray once. Little glass pebbles came out the back