Boris bikes for the west midlands, good idea or what?

#41
How I chuckled last night as I witnessed some knobhead (no lights, no handed) inadvertently negotiating a speed bump whilst texting. I wish I had some advance notice because it was a thing of great beauty watching this twat's Samsung cartwheeling several feet followed by said twat. It's what Youtube was designed for.
 
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#44
Its official folks, Wolverhampton is to be the first area in the west midlands to get the " Boris Bikes". in the same edition of the local rag, it says that Wolvo is the shoplifting capital of the midlands. Which means the thieving scum that keep prices higher than they should be, might decide to weigh in the bikes, which I am reliably informed cost £1000 each, and have a very desirable, rather complex gear change mechanism, and make a few pounds. Brum is to get them as well. It will be interesting to see how many are still in service after a few months.
 
#45
Its official folks, Wolverhampton is to be the first area in the west midlands to get the " Boris Bikes". in the same edition of the local rag, it says that Wolvo is the shoplifting capital of the midlands. Which means the thieving scum that keep prices higher than they should be, might decide to weigh in the bikes, which I am reliably informed cost £1000 each, and have a very desirable, rather complex gear change mechanism, and make a few pounds. Brum is to get them as well. It will be interesting to see how many are still in service after a few months.
Terrorist attacks on bikes, only in Wolves
 
#46
Its official folks, Wolverhampton is to be the first area in the west midlands to get the " Boris Bikes". in the same edition of the local rag, it says that Wolvo is the shoplifting capital of the midlands. Which means the thieving scum that keep prices higher than they should be, might decide to weigh in the bikes, which I am reliably informed cost £1000 each, and have a very desirable, rather complex gear change mechanism, and make a few pounds. Brum is to get them as well. It will be interesting to see how many are still in service after a few months.
It's a bog standard 3 speed hub gear, I think they may be getting confused with the 3 speed Shimano hub in the Nextbike scheme, which has a built in dynamo. The Boris bikes do have blaze lazerlights though which are worth a bob or two.
 
#47
Bikes that don't need a dock are a good idea, but sadly dependent on people not being d1cks. People leave them in stupid places (though not as many as would be expected, so far). I do hope they pay a decent wedge to the councils for the inevitable clean-up/rescue.

I'd add some features, mind:
- d1ckparking detector/report button;
-as soon as you pull a wheelie, the wheels lock up and the seat ejects, the front basket flips up and cracks you on the head;
- similarly if you remove both hands from the bars, which snap inwards, hopefully flinging your phone into the gutter;
- beard/checked shirt/skinny jeans detector?
- whatever they use for shopping trollies to stop the wheels turning if your feet are on the pedals.
 
#49
This naïve bullshit rears its head every twenty years or so. Cambridge had a green bike scheme in the early '90s. These were reconditioned hacks that were scattered around the city and eventually scattered at the bottom of the river Cam... or in the back of pikeys' vans. The idea was shit-canned. I was in Cambridge last week and the idea - albeit one that's been 'slightly' better thought out - had resurfaced. Bright yellow this time. GPS, run-flats, coded locks the full ish, but still wreckable, lobbable and robbable. Money well spent. But WTF, it's Cambridge and cyclists are God's chosen ones, and anyone not on a bike is a polar bear murdering cnut.

Don't even go there with ******* rowers!

Piss funny if one of these surfaced in the middle of the boat race.

 

ugly

LE
Moderator
#50
#51
I'd pay to see the crews pried out of their seats with a crowbar if that thing pops up among them.
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
#53
Bikes that don't need a dock are a good idea, but sadly dependent on people not being d1cks.
There are a couple of companies around the Islington area with non docking bikes. They have side stands. They get all lined up and then some drunken bum on a Saturday night kicks one and you get the domino effect, all lying down on their sides.
 
#56
You lot are funny. I ride a Boris Bike daily in that London, and I'm about as far from being a hipster as I am from being a millionaire transgender supermodel. Much fun on my morning commute zipping along cycle lanes past stationary cars.

They work for big cities, not so sure about Wolverhampton. Has bicycle technology embedded firmly enough in the West Midlands to support the business model, or will the local bunyips eat or worship them?
 

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