Bonsai

Anybody here dabbled with it? Got myself a Chinese Elm and a Japanese Maple. Have had bonsai before but I never really paid them much attention, and after last housemove, punted them into the front garden whilst I decided where to house them...and promptly forgot about them. Needless to say, when I did rediscover them quite some time later, didnt take long for the log burner to consume the twiggy dried out mess that was left. So, anybody here dabbled in it, and tips on caring for the ones I currently have?

2020-05-23 22.49.03.jpg
 
Anybody here dabbled with it? Got myself a Chinese Elm and a Japanese Maple. Have had bonsai before but I never really paid them much attention, and after last housemove, punted them into the front garden whilst I decided where to house them...and promptly forgot about them. Needless to say, when I did rediscover them quite some time later, didnt take long for the log burner to consume the twiggy dried out mess that was left. So, anybody here dabbled in it, and tips on caring for the ones I currently have?

View attachment 475971
Prace bets now.
 
**** me another thread by the navy's most boring fishhead :-D

no 999 calls tonight?
Only from your long ignored wife :)
 
doubt it shes at work in Hospital the idle cow , again :rolleyes: another saturday fked up like the last 30 or so and Im not joking.
Don't worry...she'll get clapped at on Thursday :)
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
not sure you can be trusted with any more after you've just admitted killing the last two.

are you studying at the myagi dojo as well?

Bonsai is for life not just for iwo jima.
 
Well, I don't think it's too early to say...

This thread isn't really going as originally planned!

And I can conclude that, the collective arserati know feckall about bonsai.

I'm gonna have to join a Myagi forum and cultivate a Mr G.Glitter hair & beard style then...
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
Well, I don't think it's too early to say...

This thread isn't really going as originally planned!

And I can conclude that, the collective arserati know feckall about bonsai.

I'm gonna have to join a Myagi forum and cultivate a Mr G.Glitter hair & beard style then...
why the heck would this lot of wibblers know anything about trees with dwarfism, half of them have shakey hands and most of the rest are not allowed sharp objects.


keep it on your desk at work as an executive toy.
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
anyway IMO they look like you've let then grow out too far. prune boy prune

 

Unremarkable

War Hero
I used to live in a most agreeable flat. It had everything I needed; chip bar downstairs (very rarely ate there, but good for meter change), Chinese Takeaway two doors down (I did eat there), then Bottoms Up, the late lamented off license...
Two doors up, newsagent, then discount stationers. Everything for long study and essay writing. A decent sized kitchen and low rent. I left there twenty five years ago and still dream about going home there on restless nights when life turns into something resembling the shape of the pear.

Everything, in fact, but an ecosystem which supported plant life. I tried to grow Bonsai/Benjing trees, oh how I tried!
I killed around half a dozen before giving up. Then I had a brainwave; an entirely new art form. So I invited some friends over, huddled my dead trees together, garnished them with meths, and: Lo and behold!

The Bonsai Forest Fire!
 

Unremarkable

War Hero
My daughter fancied a try last spring, so trees were researched and selected (Zerkova, Sakura*, and Wisteria), then seeds duly obtained. All were prepared and sown. A few months later, we surveyed our seedlings. All looked strangely similar...
"Dad; I recognise those. They're weeds."
I may be the Mr Bane of horticulture.

*Japanese Flowering Cherry. The song Sakura Sakura is about the Samurai life being like their fleeting beauty. My daughter used to sing it when she still sang.
 

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