Bonding with Son

Discussion in 'The Other Half' started by Kromeriz, May 3, 2013.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Advice welcome on bonding with son.

    He is now 14 months old and I take him out each day for a walk - but this is generally when he sleeps. Still watch him go to sleep and watch him wake up. When we have sun, I take him to the park after his lunch and now I am helping him to climb the ladder to the the slide. When he gets to the top he sometimes spins with joy that he has got up... on his own... dad.s arms are never far to stop him falling though. And when he slides down, there for him when he comes to bottom... head first.

    Anyone got any games for a toddler when you only see them for a couple of hours a day?
  2. You won't need games all the time, just the consistent 'being there' and being yourself will be enough. Do your own adult things as well, pay a bill or go to the shops or repair something, share that too so that a different side of you is visible. In years to come, you will have to be parent and son, worst of enemies, best of friends, a comfort and a dragon all on the same day.
    • Like Like x 10
  3. Hide and seek is always good. They are pretty rubbish at it when they are that age, so just find somewhere comfy, take a good book, and relax for a while.

    To be honest, at 14 months they find anything and everything interesting. You could play with a cardboard box and he would love it. I would suggest some wooden building blocks of various shapes and colours, my daughter loves those. For outside, a ball. He can run around after that, its great for co-ordination training and it will tire him out - and you can get back to the book once he is asleep :)
  4. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Just as a matter of interest why do you always get him at nap time?

    Perhaps renegotiating a time when he's awake would give you more benefit, (and partner gets benefit as she gets peace when he's away and when he's napping)

    But as said, take him with you, either in pram, back pack or let him walk (using safety harness.)

    Any zoos, wildlife parks, touch farms in area? Or even just a walk along a country road, we're lucky enough to have sheep, cows and horses within 400m.
  5. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Swimming, forgot to say swimming, kids love it. A Swim nappy is cheap, have always used a neoprene body, it keeps them warm and gives some floatation.
  6. Don't patronize, When he asks for help give it. When he needs discipline make it appropriate. Tell him he's safe, make sure he feels safe and wanted. Squeeze his hand and laugh with him, a lot.

    Just about to loose my father to the Big C. The saddest bit is we are strangers to each other.
    • Like Like x 2
  7. Just always be there for him. Everything else will just follow as you both go through life.
    • Like Like x 1
  8. I missed a lot of my older two son's childhood's with a combination of Army service, followed by overseas employment on demob, they always say (both in their 20's now) that I was a constant presence even when I wasn't there (??) and remember the homecomings more than the goings so I guess that pretty much chimes with what previous poster's have said...good luck anyway, you have a got a lot to look forward to.

    As an aside, I have never met my natural father, I know where he lives but he never bothered with me so I return the compliment, sad really.
  9. Thanks all for the above.

    I bought him cycle gloves for when he is in the park - his mum has kept him indoors or in a pram for a long time and gardens are a bit strange for him and he does not like the feel of grass on his hands...

    Backpacking. I bought him one. She threw it away as it was too cold to back pack him... and he could not sleep properly when vertical...

    Unfortunately, have to go to Court now to get proper access and the chance to take him to England to see his greater family - she says no and as we were not married I need a Court Parental Responsibility Order to apply for a British passport. Would have preferred to have done things differently and will probably not win anyhow - she is a Judge of the Czech Republic but will try.

    Meanwhile, work permitting, I will put your ideas into effect!

    Thanks all.

  10. Peek-a-boo with your hands over your face always gets em giggling
  11. Just doing "normal" things can be great. When we were in Germany, my son was about 18 months or so old. Every morning when I was home, I used to take him with me to buy Brotchen at the bakers shop. Then one day, completely out of the blue, as we left the shop, he called out: "Wiedersehen!" The whole shop just erupted with laughter! They are taking so much in at that age, so anything is beneficial.
  12. He's never too young for his first gun.....
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Sympathetic_Reaction

    Sympathetic_Reaction LE Book Reviewer

    It's a difficult one if you can't chose the timings but as he gets older the options increase.

    I have a 2.5 year old son and since he was 1 I have taken him swimming most weeks, if nothing else it gives them confidence in the water and that can be a life saver. As they get older they start having preferences of thier own, don't always give in but try and play to his strengths and stengthen his weaknesses. My son loves jigsaws and books...but once you get him outside he loves the oudoors, he just needs the kick to get him out the door.

    Have a dig around in the local area for toddler groups, you'll be surprised the number of them being run. It will get him used to other kids and most have a ready supply of tea/coffee for adults and toys for the kids which means you don't need to supply your own.

    All I can say from my experience is that you need to get out and about, stuck in the house will just drive you both insane.

    • Like Like x 1

  14. Cheers

    In different flats unfortunately. Toddler groups are in Czech so a challenge for me... But will keep trying. today it is pissing ti down so no contact and working this afternoon. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better! taken him on the train twice now and he is captivated by it all - so excited.

    Thanks eveyone.
  15. Yep trains, big trucks or anything mechanical. Spend many a happy time with my dad just being in the car going out places. Oh and a hammer or tools I've got daughters and even they loved that. More so if they can actually bang nails into stuff.