Bogatry habits

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by bossyboots, Aug 6, 2009.

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  1. Sit complentating the world

    0 vote(s)
  2. Read the Daily Sport thoroughly

    0 vote(s)
  3. Read an entire book

    0 vote(s)
  4. Study the days racing forms

    0 vote(s)
  5. Thrap myself silly

    0 vote(s)
  1. What the hell do you men do in there? you go in and disappear for hours!
    Sit contemplating the world while your shite bakes merrily away? Read an entire book, what?
    And skiddies, why do men leave great big skiddies down the pan? Is it some sort of proud badge of honour?
    What the hell goes on when men go to the bogatry?
    'Your tea is ready'
    'In a minute'
    'Your tea is going cold'
    'Be there in a mo'
    'Your tea is in the dog'
    Whats coming? You? Your now baked to perfection log? What?
  2. maguire

    maguire LE Book Reviewer

    I will answer your question on the condition that you clearly and concisely, and with impeccable logic, explain exactly WHY leaving the toilet seat up is a crime against humanity on the level of mass murder.
  3. Because it looks bloody untidy :pissedoff:
  4. LancePrivateJones

    LancePrivateJones LE Book Reviewer

    I have found that since I installed wireless my laptop has replaced the traditional newspaper.
    Always have a fag and a cuppa though.

    In fact, that's where I am at this exact moment.
    And push........
  5. A counter question then!

    Why the feck is it that at every Motorway Service Station when a bus stops there is a queue of splitarrses a hundred yards long outside the Ladies?

    How long does it take to have a p1ss FFS? And how much bog paper do you need to wipe your growler?

    P1ss in a straight line FFS :twisted:

    And you missed the obvious answer to your continual annoying questioning when he is crimping one out:

    "I'm havin a sh1t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  6. FFS woman! That's like asking what Man-Flu is - even if you COULD understand, we wouldn't, nor couldn't explain it.

    When I get home from a long, hard day of work, I'm seeking to reassess my karma, my ching, my equilibrium. Only in the feng shui environs of the porcelain'd room can one achieve true man-zen. It is only after the massage of the passage with a suitable sized turdage, avec read, smoke, coffee/tea, jizz whilst contemplating greatness that we can return to the world, the truly wholesome and loving men that you deserve.

    Without us taking this pause in the tikkage of time, you would not see the wholesome man, you would see only irritation, nay, rage, and a violent, painful demise - yours.

    Soooo, when I'm taking a sh!t, heed the fookin warning! :threaten:
  7. Book, mug of tea, toast one of lifes pleasures and the smell keeps her out. One thing that puzzles me though, she's moaning like feck about the smell but you can't smell a thing whilst yer in there.
  8. I'm in and out before the smell kills me.

    And that goes for the loo too.

    I tried reading a newspaper on the loo once. By the time I'd read the newspaper (well, peiced all the squares together that were hanging on a nail in the wall) I'd lost blood flow to my legs.

    I ended up face first on the floor with a sore face and the worst pins and needles ever.
  9. OI - Bossy - you missed 'All of the above AND sh!tting, but not necessarily in that order' in the options.
  10. maguire

    maguire LE Book Reviewer

    so does an unshaven minge, but we dont whine on about it like it's the end of the world.
  11. You canny beat a full baccy pouch mate :D

    Fussy cnut...
  12. Trying to push a log the diameter of your wrist past a prostate the size of a watermelon. I take a book and local anaesthetic
  13. Trying to pass a log past a prostrate that size is bad enough JJ, but a book FFS?

    If you bought a shredder you'd save a fortune on the anaeshetic mate.
  14. Ok ok, I'm a book reading Walt :D
  15. I bet you've never even heard of the "Janet and John" books.

    No. They aren't porn!!!