Bog Trog Rant

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Harry_Boomers, Sep 26, 2006.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Why is it that when I go out for a few beers on a Saturday night that all the drinking establishments I go to, seem to have what I refer to as BOG TROGS hanging around the sinks of the gents!

    There they are trying to be jokey like you’re their bezzer whilst trying to soak you in an aftershave called jizzmusk or whatever fake shit they seemed to have piled up. Then expect you to tip them a bloody fiver just for them to say “wash your hands” Well fuck em the next time im going hand them a pair of my heaviest soiled skiddies for a hand wash! Rant over.
  2. Agree with you on that!

    "Would you like something...?"

    "No fcuker, I would like to just wash my hands and get back out to my beers."

    Worst thing is when the gits are in a pub and not a club, what's the fcuking point? It's a pub not a club, now shunt off you piss smelling Arab/Somalian scrubber!!!!
  3. You are so right!

    Those fu*kers really annoy me, especially when you have already washed your hands and dried them (on your trousers or used the hand drier) then they get in your face and demand a quid!!! What for?!

    Any bar/club managers on here should take note; ITS NOT HELPFUL AND IT ANNOYS EVERYONE!!!
  4. Agreed. There's nothing more likely to creep me out than a seven foot tall Arab soaping up my hands. What a shoit job though.
  5. Personally I think bog trogs do a sterling service. The sense of trepidation mixed with anticipation when you're stood at the urinal, blood stick exposed and already thickening is immense.

    Waiting for that strangers hand to engulf your glans makes pre-cum ooze immediately and if he were to put it in his beer-fumed, nicotined smelling mouth then I would surely explode.

    If however, he is simply a personable chap, imbibed with a bellyful of real ale then all you've done is made a new best friend. Who knows, he may even invite you back to his place for a 3 way with his wife.
  6. I have to say that as a general rule they get on my nerves, especially if you're the only bloke in the gents, because you know he's looking at you. And he's going to keep looking at me as I cunningly ignore him whilst I wash and dry my hands myself.

    However that said, there is one of these men that I have met that makes it all worth it. Unfortunately I am no longer in a position to visit the establishment he works out (no I haven't been barred..). His catch phrase, god knows where he learnt it as I am sure he didnt speak English was "freshen up for the punani?".
  7. You can cure this chaps and ensure that they remember you by etching something sinister on thier minds.

    Make sure the odd sprinkle of p1ss catches you on the back of your hand or fingers, point out to the chap stood next to you that it doesn't matter because tai karate man will have some lagg disguising potion..... turn round and with a look of lust on your face lap up the wee wee droplets like a hungry slut.

    Apologise for not sharing, barge past him into one of the traps, put your hands between the legs of a dumping man and pull out the bog bleach block lurking in the bottom with the mud sharks....... with your gift move out to the bog floor where he lurks and nibble off the sharp corners, unbuttoning your disco Levis as you do...... hand him the more rounded block and ask him to pop it in your bottom, holding your cheeks wide open.

    Turn round, kiss him tenderly and put 20pence in his jam jar, then deliver a power slam to his solar plexus and trump out your suppository onto his head.
  8. Bog Trogs? I was sure this thread was going to be a slagging for the natives of the Emerald Isle :roll:
  9. I think the crimp off is right. If these dudes were to do a side line in handjobs/O to completion then it wouldn't be so bad.
    Also, if like me, you are bald as a coot, then go for the dodgy lollipop option. Everyone loves Kojak, especially bi-curious Somali trap cleaners.
  11. No I'm afraid it wasn't. But praise Jesus and all his little tricycles, there is more than one of them!
  12. I think this must be lesson one at Bog Trog school as every one I see says it, though round my neck of the woods they normally throw in a gangster "Brrraaaaappppp" first

    And much as they annoy me and a quid for a few sprays and a lollypop is outrageous, when I'm hammered and thinking I'm gods gift with the girls it always seems like a good idea.
  13. Indeed there must be a training school.
    The ones in Brum use
    'Freshin up fo de pussssy'

    'Smell good fo de punani'

    I watched a sketch show named 'lil miss jocelyn on BBC3 the other night.
    She does a funny sketch about a female 'toilet attendant'
  14. Didn't Cheryl Cole nee Tweedy the talentless thick as shiete geordie bird from Girls Aloud chin an ethnic Bog-Trog in a nightclub in Guildford.

    I wonder what the exchange was like between them prior to the plastic chested mong planting one on her?
  15. My local one fcuking legend! he sings he washes he has more geniune aftershave than any shop ive ever seen and after your tenth pint smelling like sweat and fags after dancing like an epileptic giraffe in a strobe light factory a few squirts are all tht is needed