Bog Paper

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Busta-Gut, Oct 6, 2007.

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  1. Doing a survey about whether the bog paper is hung top over or under. My wife pisses me off by hanging the roll underneath. Man, that is hard to find the end.

    So far in chatting wit friends women like it under and men like it over the top. (paper that is).
     
  2. Bog paper? Who uses bog paper? I have trained my illegal house maid to lick the shite from my arrse. Beats having to pay £6.99 for 12 rolls at Asda!
     
  3. I use broken sheets of glass, dipped in concentrated sulphuric acid, and impregnated with dannet wire. Luvverly!!!

    My missus stuck the bog paper to the wall...........once..........just the farging once!!!
     
  4. Judging by the total lack of response on the polling system I think not much dough will be coming my way by way of research funding. I will however commit to dropping a penny in the next charity box I see.
     
  5. Surely this is a prime candidate for the Arrsehole?

    I'll, er, get my coat.... taxi!

    Litotes
     
  6. Arrse holes to you all...

    There is only only way to wipe your arrse and that is with 4x2 (or whatever it is in millimeters nowadays). It is flanalette, was designed for .303 served well with 7,62 and has served my arrse well on countless ocassions.

    It was also quite comfortable.
     
  7. It's necessary to consider this dilemma from a technical aspect.

    While the next sheet is hanging from the roll, there's not a problem. In such circumstances it could be argued that having the hanging sheet nearest the wall is tidiest and there is less likelihood of inadvertantly catching the end of the roll in the waistband of your skiddies.

    However, when there is no sheet hanging down, it is infinitely easier to find the end of the roll if the roll is hung with the loose end nearest the wall. By doing so, it is only necessary to spin the roll by placing the hand flat on the bottom of the roll and pulling upwards quickly. Air pressure against the loose edge separates the end sheet from the rest of the roll and Robert's your mother's brother.

    This technique doesn't work as well with the roll in the opposite attitude, where a downward push would be necessary. This is because the arm is generally at the end of its reach when the action is started and difficulty is experienced in extending it further. Furthermore, this action would require that the wrist is bent back beyond the normal angle, straining ligaments.
     
  8. Should always be over the top, but for some reason my wife insists it should be 'backwards' as it looks neater and rolled up so you cant even see the feckin end of it. Its one of her peeves to have it that way round. but its also one of mine, I want to see the end of the dam bogroll so I can grab it when required. But whats really more annoying is when people use a new roll and they get that 'mis-alligned sheet thing where one ply is off with the other one so you end up tearing it not at the perferation but halfway through one of the sheets instead. but do they rectify it? Noooo, they continue to tear off half sheets and leave a crappy messy bog-roll end. All you have to do is fold one ply back over the dam roll and your back in allignment. Dam.

    I had no idea bogroll annoyed me so much till you posted this thread.
     
  9. I have MPD, so it depends which personality is in control at the time of the changing of the roll. Life is full of excitement that way... :roll:
     
  10. :lol: DONT HAVE A PROPER BOG ROLL HOLDER SO PUT THE ROLL :lol: VERTICAL ON THE SINK PLUNGER THE STANDS UP ON THE BOG FLOOR :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  11. just sit on the carpet and drag your ARRSE along, you may get carpet burns but it solves all your problems as well as being cheaper.
     
  12. Hotels do it proper that is outside the paper should fall'th, with a fold at the base (like a triangle) so you can scrape your nail afterwards should you make a mistake.
     
  13. The answer is a simple one. Mount one holder on the wall with the paper over for you (which is the correct way) and another with the paper under for her.

    Or remove the holder and keep all the bog roll in a locked cabinet where only you have the key. She has to learn ;)
     
  14. Use your hand, I have a sink right there, so wipe and rinse, wipe and rinse.

    Not done by choice but live with a load of woman and I am convinced they eat the bloody stuff, one roll a day sometimes more.

    Excellent