BO Colleagues

#1
My colleague has been wearing the same clothes all last week and has turned up today in the same outfit!

I wouldn't normally give a sh.it but he reeks...any ideas on how to drop a hint that he needs a fcuking bath and a change of clothes?

Any stories on similar incidents and how you dealt with it?
 
#2
Personally I would tell them straight, and have done so in the past. By saying, your BO stinks now sort it. The other thing to do is buy lots of air fresheners and stick them by their work area.

1. This will make the working area more pleasent.
2. They will ask why are all the air freaheners by them, you just reply, because a dead rat seems to have died by your desk.

A quiet word normally does the job, they will be more embarrassed than you for asking :lol:
 
#4
maybe the best idea is to get an old style fire extinguisher, fill it with a bit of shower gel and douse the said minger with it. otherwise- just set off the fire alarm and don't let him out till the sprinklers have activated!!
problem solved- NEXT
 
#5
simply broach the subject thus.

"how's it going mate?"

"yeah good thanks"

"what're you up to this evening ?"

"er ... nothing planned"

"well get a bath , you f-ucking stink!"
 
#8
Try a double barrel shotgun to the back of the neck. You'll have to remove the decapitaed body and head after 2 days otherwise the place will REALLY stink.

Hope this helps :twisted:
 
#9
Or even better sleep with him, he'll definately wanna bath after that MB! :twisted:

Im only kidding, if you slept with me I wouldnt wash my plums for months, instead smelling the sweet smell of success everytime I open my flies! :oops: Or maybe thats why he hasnt showered for so long....?

The truth at last!

I dunno, stalkers, stinkers, you never have any luck! :roll:
 
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#10
Moodybitch said:
My colleague has been wearing the same clothes all last week and has turned up today in the same outfit!

I wouldn't normally give a sh.it but he reeks...any ideas on how to drop a hint that he needs a fcuking bath and a change of clothes?
Just out of interest, are you a 'Big Issue' salesperson?
 
#11
Humiliate the scruffy soap dodging tw*t

He's not living in the office is he?

Ritual humiliation is best - pick a public area and pin this up. Stick his name on it and if he takes no notice then throw an ice cold bucket of water on him and pass him a bar of soap :wink:

When I stop and think
About the way I stink
I feel I want to sing
About the way I ming,
And as I sing my song
About the way I pong
The world will know too well
About the way I smell.

So if you stop and sniff
At the way I niff
You'll want to turn your bum
At the way I hum
In high voice you'll shriek
At the way I reek
Or throw yourself off a cliff
At the way I whiff.

And even in a nice fresh sweater
You're not spared from my bodily fetor
A rancid tramp lying on a park bench
Could not compete with my foul stench
Before you see me, my telltale essence
Will make damn sure you're aware of my presence
Never expect any kind of satisfaction
From my putrid, unpleasant olfaction

You can get drunk upon whiskey and soda
But you'll not escape from my body odour
For my pungent armpits I'll happily vent
In order to distribute widely my scent.
Even the French (whether in Paris or Le Touquet)
Would turn up their noses at my noxious bouquet
They'd be confounded with no explanation
As to why a non-Frenchman has such a bad emanation.

So when I stop and think
About the way I stink
I realise I don't care
About polluting the air
And excited I shall get
At every drop of sweat
And I shall laugh from my belly
'Cos it's great is being smelly.
Hope this helps - keep us posted :lol: :wink:
 
#13
Poppy said:
Did someone send this to you on Valentine's Day Oz?? :lol: :lol:
:wink: No sadly Pops I bathe and give myself a good scrubbing every day. Why? do you need a partner for your watersports :lol: :lol:

I have used this technique on a soap dodging colleague before and he got the message. :wink:
 
#14
had a bloke like this in training years ago! He used to have salt stains on his wooly pully. Nice enough bloke but, in the end, the powers that be took him and the contents of his locker down to the playing fields and burnt the lot! For some reason he was not allowed to go on the secure part of the course. Don't know what vetting had to do with it?
 
#15
i've mentioned her on here before , but we have an african bird who cleans our office ..... and she is breathtaking.

not in the fact that she's a stunner , quite the opposite , she looks like the survivor of a burning tyre necklace , who then got a job as a track pad
because she was willing to travel and work under pressure.

to put it bluntly , she smells like a norwegian container , that never got the range stew cleaned out of it , and got left in the back of the G10 for 3 months.

now , at my work , we have an air freshener that is designed to get the smell of dead bodies out of the trunks of mafia hit mens cars , and every time she comes in our office , i just blatantly give her a blast of it and open all the windows , she seems to be getting the message , but i'm worried about the coming summer months when she starts taking off several of the layers she's been swathed in since the temperature dipped below 30 last september.
 
#16
lololololol, just walked past his desk and there is a magic tree hanging off the backof his pc...it was not me who put it there and I don't think he has even noticed yet....at least I'm not alone in my suffering.

I may keep quiet and see if he ends up underneath a mountain of them by Friday
 
#17
Ozgerbobble said:
Poppy said:
Did someone send this to you on Valentine's Day Oz?? :lol: :lol:
:wink: No sadly Pops I bathe and give myself a good scrubbing every day. Why? do you need a partner for your watersports :lol: :lol:

I have used this technique on a soap dodging colleague before and he got the message. :wink:
You only bathe once a day!!!!! 8O I shower morning and night and if I go for a lunchtime run after that too :wink:
 
#19
You only bathe once a day!!!!! I shower morning and night and if I go for a lunchtime run after that too
Running to the pie machine does count as a lunchtime PT session, and the only reason you have a shower at lunchtime, is to get rid of all the crumbs :lol: