Hallo? Officer Smith? Yes, I know you said you were away at the weekend but I just wanted to let you know that my 'pussy' is up the tree again.... What was that? You don't give a flying f#ck! Well, I never, and you know I've never because my Sidney died on our wedding day............
People could be given the mobile phone number of their local bobby under an overhaul of policing in England and Wales unveiled by David Blunkett.