Personally I cannot curl one out without a few squirts of urine being unleashed, she obviously thinks urinating in her gob is a no-no.
Splashing:- with me sat on the porcelain throne (saves laundering sheets) and the good lady wife on her knees positioned at groin level there is a risk of splashing her chin with bog water when a log drops, which she tells me would be off-putting. Would a leather chin strap be protection enough?
She thinks I'm gross, which ARRSE threads would edumacate her that this is quite a harmless request? I've pointed her to some of RTFQ and Short Fuses posting but she tells me they are just pervs to.
if you're in Germany she could be taking her life in her hands, without that reassuring drop and splosh, if you produce a turd like Frank Bruno's leg it may well achieve the double whammy of flicking you on the back of the knackers as it topples forward like a felled spruce and coming to rest on her chin...
It's not happening, she point blank refuses. You can keep your brown wings and your red wings etc, I want my blumpy. All it is is a gob job!
I just want to know if I can 'kill two birds with one stone'.
Nothing in the world beats a really good dump. You know the sort. Post-ex mag to grid of compo dumps or after a night on the pish and a curry. "Cathartic" comes to mind. Sitting on the trap has given me some of the most Zen-like moments of my entire life, beating post coital peace into a close second. What loving wife would deny/ begrudge her loving husband a double whammy of two of life's most wonderful moments at the same time?
She wants me at the birth of our daughter in February, should I coerce her by making it an exchange? My being there for her giving me a blumpy?
make it a double whammy, and whilst she's subdued on the table plopping the sprog, simply hop on, engage mutton musket and fling out a chocolate hostage onto her scrubs, that way it can all be clean and tidy in time for the arrival of the small purple alien you are about to recieve ...