Blumpy

Should a wife/ girlfriend be expected to give her husband a blumpy?

  • Yes, get some in!

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • NO! you disgusting beast!

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Only in return for something...

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
#1
Inspired by my good lady wife's first thread I have a question for ARRSErs:

Does a husband have a right to expect a blumpy?
 
#2
WTF is a blumpy? :?
 
#3
Blumpy is the act of your partner fellating you as you evacuate your bowels...
 
#4
Obviously I've led a sheltered life :?
 
#5
I noticed that ARRSE like the forces , has a lot of members obsessed about women taking it up the wrong 'un. Now this has never ever appealed to me but I'm willing to give a blumpy a go.

Sort of mixing my pleasures you might say.
 
#7
golddust said:
I'll have a quick word with the missus', I think I know what the answer gonna be though. 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O

I was wrong, the reply was much worse!!! Included words like : pervert, disgusting, sling yer hook.

I so thought she would agree!
 
#9
BlackHand said:
Hairy_Hacker said:
Blumpy is the act of your partner fellating you as you evacuate your bowels...
ARRSE - It's educational.
You forgot to mention that if the missus is on a diet of sugar puffs at the time, you can also eat your brekkie with a free hand..
ARRSE - recipe guide!
 

Auld-Yin

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#10
Hairy_Hacker said:
Blumpy is the act of your partner fellating you as you evacuate your bowels...
That is absolutely disgusting - and anyway, how can you possibly co-ordinate dump with pump to get the effect you seem to be looking for? 8O
 
B

Biscuits_AB

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#11
Hairy_Hacker said:
Blumpy is the act of your partner fellating you as you evacuate your bowels...
My missus doesn't get the choice. I often let one go when she's giving me a nosh. Occasionally I follow through.
 
#13
A few technicalities have been pointed out.

Personally I cannot curl one out without a few squirts of urine being unleashed, she obviously thinks urinating in her gob is a no-no.

Splashing:- with me sat on the porcelain throne (saves laundering sheets) and the good lady wife on her knees positioned at groin level there is a risk of splashing her chin with bog water when a log drops, which she tells me would be off-putting. Would a leather chin strap be protection enough?

She thinks I'm gross, which ARRSE threads would edumacate her that this is quite a harmless request? I've pointed her to some of RTFQ and Short Fuses posting but she tells me they are just pervs to.
 
#14
Hairy_Hacker said:
Blumpy is the act of your partner fellating you as you evacuate your bowels...
Could you just confirm how high this is on your list of things to do? Loads of great things you can get up to with the Mrs but this wouldn't make any of my lists let alone a short list!!

Is there a waiting list for the local specialist dealing with such defective behaviour in your local area? If not I suggest you get in there as soon as possible!!
 
#17
if you're in Germany she could be taking her life in her hands, without that reassuring drop and splosh, if you produce a turd like Frank Bruno's leg it may well achieve the double whammy of flicking you on the back of the knackers as it topples forward like a felled spruce and coming to rest on her chin... :D
 
#18
It's not happening, she point blank refuses. You can keep your brown wings and your red wings etc, I want my blumpy. All it is is a gob job!

I just want to know if I can 'kill two birds with one stone'.

Nothing in the world beats a really good dump. You know the sort. Post-ex mag to grid of compo dumps or after a night on the pish and a curry. "Cathartic" comes to mind. Sitting on the trap has given me some of the most Zen-like moments of my entire life, beating post coital peace into a close second. What loving wife would deny/ begrudge her loving husband a double whammy of two of life's most wonderful moments at the same time?

She wants me at the birth of our daughter in February, should I coerce her by making it an exchange? My being there for her giving me a blumpy?

Thoughts please?
 
#19
make it a double whammy, and whilst she's subdued on the table plopping the sprog, simply hop on, engage mutton musket and fling out a chocolate hostage onto her scrubs, that way it can all be clean and tidy in time for the arrival of the small purple alien you are about to recieve ...

job jobbed... :D

hope this helps.
 
#20
The mere thought some sick, twisted, warped, screwed up individual thought of something this disgusting, as a way to get off sexually, makes me puke. As I said in the "British Humour" thread:

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU BRITS????
 

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