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Blue Peter Cat takes up long walks in Oxfordshire Woods

#1
Due to the Blue Peter cat's continued embarrassment to the Blair Brown Crypto-communist (hereafter known as the BBC), by exposing the cruel truth that its chosen name is Cookie, and not the politically correct Socks (not at all picking on a deformity to call an animal after), it has been decided by Prime Ministerial Dictact that Socks will take recreational walks in the Oxfordshire woods, whilst carrying a pack of painkiller that they previously could not swallow, and a pocket knife. Duration of walks is expected to be under 45 minutes.
Socks replacement, younger and more compliant has already been promoted into post, and is known as Cookie.
 
#4
SiVileServant said:
Due to the Blue Peter cat's continued embarrassment to the Blair Brown Crypto-communist (hereafter known as the BBC), by exposing the cruel truth that its chosen name is Cookie, and not the politically correct Socks (not at all picking on a deformity to call an animal after), it has been decided by Prime Ministerial Dictact that Socks will take recreational walks in the Oxfordshire woods, whilst carrying a pack of painkiller that they previously could not swallow, and a pocket knife. Duration of walks is expected to be under 45 minutes.
Socks replacement, younger and more compliant has already been promoted into post, and is known as Cookie.
After several phone votes, Blue Peter's new pets include:
Spliff the hedgehog
Crack the cat
Jellies the tortoise
and Bong the dog

The presenters (speaking from a cafe in Amsterdam)denied repots that the phone vote was rigged.
 

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