Blowjob - Facts Here.....

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by PandaLOVE, Jul 27, 2008.

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  1. OK, as a swanky dude I've been fortunate enough to have the chops of many a fine laydee, local and foreign, free and 'hired' around my throbbing shaft.

    Some are nothing more than sleep inducing shy head bobbers while some go at it as if it their sole responsibility to mankind was for me to type up their POV CV recomendation while they mop up and brush their teeth.

    Question is what makes the prefect blowjob? I'm not sure if I've been on the right end of one (oo-er) but I know if I was a 'lady' I'd be a fcuking dirty slag-whore-cow-bitch-slut with it. So, at what point does a mind numbing sloppy spit dribling full lenghth up and down the ladder BJ become to long and drawn out?
     
  2. P.S. This is a fact finding mission.
     
  3. And what would these 'facts' be used for?
     
  4. The only thing that realy matters is that they enjoy doing it. There's nothing worse than some lass that feels oliged to go down on you, makes it crap for both sides. You just need to find one that loves it, although it can be odd when she forgets its attached to anything and just gets carried away, by odd I mean fcuking great.
     
  5. How does this work? I'm thinking in terms of pocket billiards without the stains. Satisfaction without the mess.
     
  6. Would you care to show me?
     
  7. Why do some birds think it is acceptable to stick thier tongues down your your japs??? It's not fucking nice or is it just me??
     
  8. For the perfect gobble, you need to find a lass with a full set of false teeth. Get her to take them out and you don't have to worry about whether or not she's epileptic. Much more relaxed and enjoyable.

    Even better if it's the same day that she's had her teeth out, the gums are much softer, but the odds of finding one in this state are worse than winning the Lottery.

    Doubtless MDN has a solution.
     
  9. Tried twice already and failed miserably.

    It's going to be a while before I'm able to try again....
     
  10. What? You're only a hoor/whore/hooer if you get paid. I was hoping for a free demonstration. I hope you haven't got a 'tache. Emulating a half-shaved pussy would feel very strange. On the other hand, that would be a new experience....
     
  11. Or just a stinking poopchute purveyor, if you're not gonna put out then shouldnt you be busy trying to find Grace to discuss handbags and shite?
     
  12. I reckon Pandalove has never had a BJ in his life. Infact, he is asking these questions so as to gather intelligence; to tell his friends about BJs to make them think he's cool.

    Am I right PandaLove? :p
     
  13. So you're the bloke who got pissed up and took to sleeping in my bed space? Wouldn't move out until I got in and started cuddling?

    The look of shock was a sight to behold.

    I don't bear a grudge because it was a very cold night, the heating wasn't on, and you warmed up the bed beautifully.



    Nearly forgot...

    xxxx


    MORTARS!
     
  14. All bummers seem to be called Simon. Whats all that about?
     
  15. I personally think eye contact during the sucking process makes it more erotic.