Blowjob - Facts Here.....

#1
OK, as a swanky dude I've been fortunate enough to have the chops of many a fine laydee, local and foreign, free and 'hired' around my throbbing shaft.

Some are nothing more than sleep inducing shy head bobbers while some go at it as if it their sole responsibility to mankind was for me to type up their POV CV recomendation while they mop up and brush their teeth.

Question is what makes the prefect blowjob? I'm not sure if I've been on the right end of one (oo-er) but I know if I was a 'lady' I'd be a fcuking dirty slag-whore-cow-bitch-slut with it. So, at what point does a mind numbing sloppy spit dribling full lenghth up and down the ladder BJ become to long and drawn out?
 
#4
The only thing that realy matters is that they enjoy doing it. There's nothing worse than some lass that feels oliged to go down on you, makes it crap for both sides. You just need to find one that loves it, although it can be odd when she forgets its attached to anything and just gets carried away, by odd I mean fcuking great.
 
#5
jarrod248 said:
Beware the sneaky ones who press just underneath your sack, you feel like you have cum but in fact you haven't.
How does this work? I'm thinking in terms of pocket billiards without the stains. Satisfaction without the mess.
 
#6
jarrod248 said:
putteesinmyhands said:
jarrod248 said:
Beware the sneaky ones who press just underneath your sack, you feel like you have cum but in fact you haven't.
How does this work? I'm thinking in terms of pocket billiards without the stains. Satisfaction without the mess.
It takes practice and it's hard to do. Press firmly under your balls when you are about to cum and it feels like you have but in fact you've hardly spilt a drop. Practice will learn you exactly where to press.
Would you care to show me?
 
#7
Why do some birds think it is acceptable to stick thier tongues down your your japs??? It's not fucking nice or is it just me??
 
#8
For the perfect gobble, you need to find a lass with a full set of false teeth. Get her to take them out and you don't have to worry about whether or not she's epileptic. Much more relaxed and enjoyable.

Even better if it's the same day that she's had her teeth out, the gums are much softer, but the odds of finding one in this state are worse than winning the Lottery.

Doubtless MDN has a solution.
 
#9
jarrod248 said:
putteesinmyhands said:
jarrod248 said:
putteesinmyhands said:
jarrod248 said:
Beware the sneaky ones who press just underneath your sack, you feel like you have cum but in fact you haven't.
How does this work? I'm thinking in terms of pocket billiards without the stains. Satisfaction without the mess.
It takes practice and it's hard to do. Press firmly under your balls when you are about to cum and it feels like you have but in fact you've hardly spilt a drop. Practice will learn you exactly where to press.
Would you care to show me?
I'm going to be hung as it is! It does take practice as it's not easy to press firmly when you are going to cum.
Keep trying you'll manage it.
Tried twice already and failed miserably.

It's going to be a while before I'm able to try again....
 
#10
jarrod248 said:
putteesinmyhands said:
jarrod248 said:
putteesinmyhands said:
jarrod248 said:
putteesinmyhands said:
jarrod248 said:
Beware the sneaky ones who press just underneath your sack, you feel like you have cum but in fact you haven't.
How does this work? I'm thinking in terms of pocket billiards without the stains. Satisfaction without the mess.
It takes practice and it's hard to do. Press firmly under your balls when you are about to cum and it feels like you have but in fact you've hardly spilt a drop. Practice will learn you exactly where to press.
Would you care to show me?
I'm going to be hung as it is! It does take practice as it's not easy to press firmly when you are going to cum.
Keep trying you'll manage it.
Tried twice already and failed miserably.

It's going to be a while before I'm able to try again....
I told you press firmly and practice. I'm not offerring my services that wold mean I'm a hoor!
What? You're only a hoor/whore/hooer if you get paid. I was hoping for a free demonstration. I hope you haven't got a 'tache. Emulating a half-shaved pussy would feel very strange. On the other hand, that would be a new experience....
 
#11
jarrod248 said:
I'm not offerring my services that wold mean I'm a hoor!
Or just a stinking poopchute purveyor, if you're not gonna put out then shouldnt you be busy trying to find Grace to discuss handbags and shite?
 
#12
I reckon Pandalove has never had a BJ in his life. Infact, he is asking these questions so as to gather intelligence; to tell his friends about BJs to make them think he's cool.

Am I right PandaLove? :p
 
#13
jarrod248 said:
oh ok then seeing as you are from Yorkshire volunteers same as my good self and you are obviously ahem as tight as me I'll show you just once.
If you are the guy that got in my bed at Strensall i'll show you several times.
So you're the bloke who got pissed up and took to sleeping in my bed space? Wouldn't move out until I got in and started cuddling?

The look of shock was a sight to behold.

I don't bear a grudge because it was a very cold night, the heating wasn't on, and you warmed up the bed beautifully.



Nearly forgot...

xxxx


MORTARS!
 
#16
Aqua-Calda said:
I personally think eye contact during the sucking process makes it more erotic.
Jap's?????
Otherwise, you've not really tried this, have you?
 
#18
Bigdumps said:
I reckon Pandalove has never had a BJ in his life. Infact, he is asking these questions so as to gather intelligence; to tell his friends about BJs to make them think he's cool.

Am I right PandaLove? :p
er, yeah, that's right Bigdumps..... Jarrod, this below the sack thing you speak of, once had a one nighter start to twiddle with my botty hole to my surprise, and it did feel strangely peculiarly nice. Sort of ultra-stiffened the already intensely ultra-stiff thing.

As to fact finding, top 10 BJ facts I will have tattood across my lower sack in inch high letters to assist any fledgling BJ'er that comes my way in the future.....
 
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