Bloody Monkeys

#1
I will go out of my way to make sure I never have to work with or near RMPs ever again what a bunch of To**ers. I cant believe these goons are promoted from training. Got pulled the other day because all 4 wheels were not stationary for minimum of 3 seconds at a stop sign I wouldnt have cared but I had just spent the previous week working with 2 cheesers that pulled me.
 
#4
dunster said:
I will go out of my way to make sure I never have to work with or near RMPs ever again what a bunch of To**ers. I cant believe these goons are promoted from training. Got pulled the other day because all 4 wheels were not stationary for minimum of 3 seconds at a stop sign I wouldnt have cared but I had just spent the previous week working with 2 cheesers that pulled me.
Dunster, like Dirty sez, what was their proof? The fact they just watched you, with nothing to time you? Human timing devices? Wow, the MPs have come a long way. No need for electronic counting devices, speed guns or cameras. The RMP can just look and figure out your speed and time. Jobs worth’s. If anything becomes of this like threading the boards in front of the Sergeant Major, just say 'Sir, in respect, I stopped and counted to 4, and then drove off'. Now, how are they going to corroborate their 'evidence' against your 'evidence? Eh, eh, eh ??!!

There again, I can’t talk. Caught by Gatso in December outside Hull doing 60 something in a 40 zone. They gave me a choice. Either pick up the three points and add them to the six I already have, or attend a days course (in Hull !!) on the virtues of not speeding (£50 plus whatever my petrol is and a day spent driving across England). Man, I’m gonna sulk alllllllll day at the lecture!!
 
#5
How pathetic. Did you ask to see their stopwatch? I'd have demanded proof.

I dont think they are gonna do anything about it just gave me a slapped wrist.I just cant stand them anyway...anyone else got any monkey stories [/quote]
 
#6
They sound a bit like my company,.......

...... who go mental if your thirty seconds late after your break!

And yes, they DO have the evidence,......... how sad is that???? :?:















But yer know the old Apache saying,......... f*ckem! :roll:
 
#7
Once had a monkey open the window on my Rover and tell my driver he was nicked for parking on a double yellow line. I opened my door and looked down at the foot of snow on the road and invited the monkey to show me the lines. Sadly for the monkey he thought the way out of his dilemma was to bluff and be a cnut. I think he particularily resented his two minute lecture on on the advantages of saluting officers of field rank.
 
#8
In the late 80's the monkeys used to regularly stop at taxi ranks in Herford, offer the squaddies a lift and then drop them off at the guardroom, handing the 'lucky' returnees in as being drunk and disorderly.

Strange, but even tea totalers were locked up for the night and had to explain in front of their Sergeant Majors why they were dragged back from down town.
 
#9
Plant-Pilot said:
In the late 80's the monkeys used to regularly stop at taxi ranks in Herford, offer the squaddies a lift and then drop them off at the guardroom, handing the 'lucky' returnees in as being drunk and disorderly.

Strange, but even tea totalers were locked up for the night and had to explain in front of their Sergeant Majors why they were dragged back from down town.
Good drills !! LOL !! This is what makes the British Army great !! Monkeys with an excellent sense of humour !!
 
#10
Plant-Pilot said:
In the late 80's the monkeys used to regularly stop at taxi ranks in Herford, offer the squaddies a lift and then drop them off at the guardroom, handing the 'lucky' returnees in as being drunk and disorderly.

Strange, but even tea totalers were locked up for the night and had to explain in front of their Sergeant Majors why they were dragged back from down town.
hahahahaha! Winners ! I'd love to have been party to the conversation which launched that little beauty! That's made my day........what a bunch of rotten...but exceedingly funny.....bast*rds. Joe Squaddie must have been gutted! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Was Dick Dasterdley the driver?

hahahaha!
 
#11
Sorry, but I'm still laughing at that post of Plant Pilots! Thats one of the funniest things I've ever heard. I wonder if they are taught that in basic training!
 
#12
Plant-Pilot said:
In the late 80's the monkeys used to regularly stop at taxi ranks in Herford, offer the squaddies a lift and then drop them off at the guardroom, handing the 'lucky' returnees in as being drunk and disorderly.

Strange, but even tea totalers were locked up for the night and had to explain in front of their Sergeant Majors why they were dragged back from down town.
I bet most of them wore "cherry berets" :D
 
#13
Back in '85 in Gibraltar we were told that the resident Bn put on a mini bus to take people back to barracks. Out walk two very drunk (but not disorderly) Sgts from a certain bar on Main St and see a mini bus. They climb in and the Navy Police close the door and take the two to the brig in the Navy barracks. Hilarious apart from the goon who, when he gave them their wallets back the next morning removed all their cash and told them not to complain otherwise he'd give them a good seeing to.

I'd like to say they met him off duty one night, but he obviously kept his head well down.
 
#15
once went on some demo in london forget what it was about.
but going past some barracks load of plod out and some MPs behind
Just had to shout as much abuse as possible :lol: The SNCO rmp was getting angry but there was a line of civpol who were trying very hard not to laugh and several hundred bemused soap dodgers between me and him :twisted:
 

Ventress

LE
Moderator
#16
Please note the super-Warden will soon be reporting Moving traffic offences (blocking box junctions etc) and they will just note the VRN, report and the driver will get a ticket- with no ability to claim otherwise! Its the Warden's word against the driver. Sad but true.
 
#17
mushroom said:
Once had a monkey open the window on my Rover and tell my driver he was nicked for parking on a double yellow line. I opened my door and looked down at the foot of snow on the road and invited the monkey to show me the lines. Sadly for the monkey he thought the way out of his dilemma was to bluff and be a cnut. I think he particularily resented his two minute lecture on on the advantages of saluting officers of field rank.
If your only fun in life is having a monkey salute you, just think what he was thinking about you....another Officer .....yet another twat
 
#18
say-my-name-bitch said:
mushroom said:
Once had a monkey open the window on my Rover and tell my driver he was nicked for parking on a double yellow line. I opened my door and looked down at the foot of snow on the road and invited the monkey to show me the lines. Sadly for the monkey he thought the way out of his dilemma was to bluff and be a cnut. I think he particularily resented his two minute lecture on on the advantages of saluting officers of field rank.
If your only fun in life is having a monkey salute you, just think what he was thinking about you....another Officer .....yet another t**t
I think you've misunderstood this thread Say my name byitch.
 
#19
Now,
Can't we just agree you obviously didn't stop at the sign, and even the RMP can count up to five. It's people like you that put the rest of us road users in danger, imagine if I was running an amber light and you did'nt stop i'd be too pi**ed to react and that would be it. I say let the RMP get on with it, if they can't make the road safer for us over the limit users when you sober lot ignore the rules then nothing good will come of it.

Ps. Can't help thinking you must have made a really good impression on them if they stopped you after working with them for two weeks.
 
#20
azport said:
Now,
Can't we just agree you obviously didn't stop at the sign, and even the RMP can count up to five. It's people like you that put the rest of us road users in danger, imagine if I was running an amber light and you did'nt stop i'd be too pi**ed to react and that would be it. I say let the RMP get on with it, if they can't make the road safer for us over the limit users when you sober lot ignore the rules then nothing good will come of it.

Ps. Can't help thinking you must have made a really good impression on them if they stopped you after working with them for two weeks.
Can't imagine where the LS&GC you were whining about went either. Guess it went toward driving all pi$$ed up?

http://www.arrse.co.uk/html/ftopicp-76672.html&sid=ce5ece16251aa1f3a98ecc63f0772d58#76672
 

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