Blind date Tips

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by H3, Jul 27, 2009.

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  1. H3

    H3 LE

    Right my pal's wife has got me a Blind date ! ..... seen the pic etc mind you it did look like it was cut out of a magazine ........ ! TO upset all concerned what topics would you think are UN - suitable in this kind of situation :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

    Fisting and Bukkaka are not an option ...... yet !

    Decided to edit ...
  2. If it's a foursome/group do the cunning pre-RCB thing - play the "facilitator". "So how do you two know each other?" "You've got a story about something like that, Geoff, haven't you?" "So she never knew it was you? Did anyone else find out?" Look fascinated while they talk about themselves.

    Hours will seem like weeks :D
  3. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    You have failed at stage one!!!!

    How can we possibly assess the situation and present a viable mission with out having recce'd the vital ground?

    POST THE PICTURE SOONEST!!!!!! :twisted: :twisted:
  4. An - has made the fatal mistake of confirming ownership of above, in opening thread post.

    Get 'em up H3. :D
  5. we need a mission.....i suggest search and destroy! :D
  6. eerrrrr Jarrod...he DID!!
  7. Never tell her that you still live with your mam. Oh, and discussing dog warden tactics is a no-no as well, and always have a back up plan. Get a mate to phone you 10 mins into the "date" to say the house is on fire so you can make a hasty exit.

    If it's that bad, you will have completed said "date" in 7 minutes and gone home to set your own house on fire. Trust me, I know this from experience. His coffee hadn't even gone cold. I think I said I had ebola or something, or that I'd left the dog outside in the rain and he didn't have a coat on and was allergic to puddles etc etc.

    Just never forget the back up.....
  8. Pretend to listen to her, and nod in understanding, worked for 12 years for me until she rumbled i was an idiot!!

    Tell her you are going to the Cinema and that you will meet her inside. She will be impressed by your thriftyness
  9. Make her tie the dog up outside.
  10. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Don't forget to take the rhophynol.
  11. If you do get off with her, shove your fingers up her ARRSE, even if she doesn't like it, it will get you out of making breakfast in the morning!
  12. The following subjects should be avoided.

    Your former wives
    Your former girlfriends
    Your former boyfriends
    Wank socks.
    Wanking in sangars.
    Wanking onto digestive biscuits.
    Skiffing and 'Dirty Sanchez'
    Sexual proclivities of the mortar platoon.
    Your collection of hardcore Danish animal porn
    Showing her the 'Horse of Death' video clip on your mobile.
    Your collection of ears/noses/trigger fingers/teeth collected from enemy dead from various battlefields.

    Fascinating as these subjects are, most women will find them a turn off. This list is not exhaustive.

    Thank you and Good luck!
  13. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    What in God's name is he going to talk about then? The weather?
  14. Can he mention Asylum seekers , Walt?
  15. Topics for a blind date convo, if you want a ride....

    The charity work you do

    How you would love to have lots of children

    Your love of all animals, cuddly or not so

    Your housework ethic

    How great she looks

    How she looks (5-10 years younger than she is)

    Make a point of asking her if she wants to go dutch, or be treated as a woman should be (always a winner)

    Failing any of the above, drug the bint and use her

    She wont remember you anyway, so game on ;)