Blair v Chirac - Go on son, 'ave him....

A row between Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac about Europe's farm subsidies has put an Anglo-French summit planned for December in doubt.
The UK prime minister and French president had what Downing Street called a "vigorous exchange" of views over reforming the Common Agricultural Policy (CAP) at last weekend's EU summit.

Mr Blair later warned of the dangers of "blanket opposition" to reform of CAP, but insisted a good deal had been reached.

The two leaders had been expected to meet in December at Le Touquet as part of their regular series of talks.

But on Monday a Downing Street spokesman said there was now a doubt over whether it would take place.

'United States of Europe'

The row comes as a controversial blueprint for the future of Europe - including proposals for dual citizenship.

UK outmanoeuvred?

Mr Hain, who remains the UK government's representative on the convention on the future of Europe, also attempted to play down the row between Mr Blair and Mr Chirac.

"The truth is we got an outcome at Brussels, and Tony Blair ensured we did, not by being rude to anyone, but by straightforward, strong negotiation," he told Today.

He insisted the UK's disagreement with France on farm subsidies would not affect progress on other issues.

Mr Hain also denied the row was being exaggerated by Downing Street to cover up the fact that Mr Blair had been outmanoeuvred by France and Germany.


Mr Chirac and German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder struck a deal to keep CAP spending at current levels until 2013 before Mr Blair arrived in Brussels for last week's summit, reportedly sparking the UK delegation's anger.

So, any ideas what the remarks were that led to the French president being mortally insulted?

Blair -  I can't believe you've gone behind my back like this M'sieu Le President...

Chirac - *Gallic shrug*

Blair- (losing composure) ....and with the bloody Boxheads to add insult to injury..

Chirac - I 'ave to protect les interets Francais n'est ce pas Tony?

Blair - Protect French Interests? PROTECTING FRENCH INTERESTS? Might I remind you , M'sieu Le President, while we're on the subject of "Protecting French Interests" that if it wasn't for the Brits you'd be a Kraut?

Chirac - Tony, calm down, calm down, Ah feel you are , comment dire ,losing zee plot?

Blair- Mind you, collaboration with the Germans is nothing new for you lot is it?

Chirac - Mon Dieux!

Blair - (Losing plot) Listen Crapaud, just remember something, Agincourt, Crecy, Calais, Waterloo. I think you're cruising for a brusing, it's about time we had a rematch. I've been on the Arrse board, and while my armed forces ain't too keen on Iraq, and my socialist tendencies stop me giving Mugabe a quick shoeing, believe me, my lads are up for it , mad for it, when it comes to handing out a kicking to the garlic munchers. You want to remember that.

Chirac - Ah 'ave nevair bin so insulted, you are very rude

Blair- I haven't even started yet, fekkin frogs, I wouldn't give you THAT (rude pinching gesture)

Blair Aide - Come away Tony, he's not worth it, now we've all had a nice drink etc etc etc....

Feel free to add what you think might have been said  ;D



You weren't sat in that Russian theatre were you?  You've been subjected to some form of hallucenogenic FABULOUS post!

"Ne pas manger le British beef"   they won't like it up 'em Mr Mainwaring, Sir.

.........The prime minister also declined an invitation from Labour MP Tony Wright to clarify "how rude" he had been to Mr Chirac during clashes at last week's summit.

....... Rude enough I think..

Never thought I'd say this but.....

Nice one Tony  ;D

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