Bladder Weakness

#1
The three main types of bladder weakness:

1. Unexpected leakage, caused when laughing, being paralytic, getting shot at/scared or a combination of all three.

2. Overflow, when the bladder does not empty fully and you dribble leaving a map of Africa on your undercrackers/jeans/trousers.

3. Urge incontinence, a strong and sudden urge to p1ss. The bladder tries to empty itself in spite of you trying to hold it in/crossing your legs/ tying a knot in your knob.

Or a mixture of all of the above.

Are you "King Bladder" and can you go all night without getting up for a p1ss?
Do you after dribble?
How many pints can you drink before you have to p1ss?
Have you ever p1ssed the bed?

Yes
Yes
6
No

:wink:
 
#3
Yes
Yes - especially when you employ the "undergarment waist elastic under the balls" technique to get your tadger out (undoing buttons is a chore), release elastic and hey presto... piss stain.
2 (healthy kidneys?)
Yes (but my missus was kinky at the time)

TB
 
#4
yes
no not piss but after a session with other half dribble is required so he has a wet patch to sleep on --this is my duty!!!
3
yes but was pregnant fat and lazy....and asleep!
 
#5
No
Yes
3
Yes..........many times, transit mattress's would have saved my £££££'s $$$$$$$'s, so much so that there is a shed at COD Bicester containing many of my old mattress maps from my service days, perhaps I will sell some as modern art ? (when I did the All Arms Drill Instructors Course (Snr) at Pirbright, wife gave me the £46.82 to pay for mattress in advance).
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#6
Yes - unless I wake up, then I take the opportunity.
Yes - Yep, yep, and then some.
4 - yeah, I know. But give me some bottles of wine, different story.
No - Should have done.
 
#7
No

Yes

4

Yes - Is it not S.O.P to hand in a mattress that has maps of Africa, India and the Phillipines on it in differing shades of yellow!????
 
#8
Yes
Yes
8-ish
Not since early infancy

Not bad for almost mid-50s, I hope.

BTW, I do NOT recommend retention of urine to anyone. Catheterisation isn't a fun way to hob-nob with nurses . . . . . . . Even with anaesthetic gel.
 
#9
1)No, usually get a 10 second warning with my bladder making out like a spacehopper with a rhino sat on it :x
2)Yes, but only when mullahed so pretty much every other bodily function is throwing it's hand in as well.
3) 3 -4, then it's 1 pint, 1 piss, rinse and repeat :oops:
4) No. Throught either cunning, sheer luck or some other force of the supernatural, I have lived a swamp free life, for now

Edited to correct an outbreak of the Millaaaaar's
 
#10
1) No not a chance
2) Yes, doesn't every one?
3) 4 then the seal is well and truly broken
4) Yes, you name a place i have been and i have wet the bed there. Some sort of Territory marking reflex! Have even handed in dripping mattresses to the SQMS before now, did not get away with it.
 
#12
1 - Definately not

2 - sometimes

3 - intially, about 3 but, bizarelly, about 5 later on

4 - bed, taxi, chicks leg - all viable options
 
#14
never gushed the bed but i had a slight no2 accident on my birthday a few weeks ago! 8O
 
#15
I have an incurable bladder weakness.

I can't stop myself removing them from each of my victims.
 
#17
caubeen said:
Yes
Yes
8-ish
Not since early infancy

Not bad for almost mid-50s, I hope.

BTW, I do NOT recommend retention of urine to anyone. Catheterisation isn't a fun way to hob-nob with nurses . . . . . . . Even with anaesthetic gel.
but trust me nurses do have alot of fun seeing your faces when we perform the procedure!!!!!
 
#18
whatever said:
caubeen said:
Yes
Yes
8-ish
Not since early infancy

Not bad for almost mid-50s, I hope.

BTW, I do NOT recommend retention of urine to anyone. Catheterisation isn't a fun way to hob-nob with nurses . . . . . . . Even with anaesthetic gel.
but trust me nurses do have alot of fun seeing your faces when we perform the procedure!!!!!
It hadn't entirely escaped me. Ba**ards! :twisted:

BTW, how in hell does one self-catheterise?? That, I'm cheerily told, is The Way Ahead if it is recurrent. :x
 
#19
1. No
2. Frequently
3. Naturally - 3. Forced - 6. Thereafter, once the seal is broke, p1ss per pint.
4. No
 
#20
Yes
Yes
4
When i was a singlie I went through a phase of alcohol induced sleep walking and took a wrong turn in the corridoor, sat down on someone's bed and slashed all over his bedspace. When I asked him later why he didnt stop me he said he didnt want me turning round in mid flow and was gratefull I wasn't having a dump :oops:
 
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