Bladder Weakness

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by TheBigUn, May 11, 2007.

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  1. The three main types of bladder weakness:

    1. Unexpected leakage, caused when laughing, being paralytic, getting shot at/scared or a combination of all three.

    2. Overflow, when the bladder does not empty fully and you dribble leaving a map of Africa on your undercrackers/jeans/trousers.

    3. Urge incontinence, a strong and sudden urge to p1ss. The bladder tries to empty itself in spite of you trying to hold it in/crossing your legs/ tying a knot in your knob.

    Or a mixture of all of the above.

    Are you "King Bladder" and can you go all night without getting up for a p1ss?
    Do you after dribble?
    How many pints can you drink before you have to p1ss?
    Have you ever p1ssed the bed?


  2. No
    Yes - I consider it my duty
  3. Yes
    Yes - especially when you employ the "undergarment waist elastic under the balls" technique to get your tadger out (undoing buttons is a chore), release elastic and hey presto... piss stain.
    2 (healthy kidneys?)
    Yes (but my missus was kinky at the time)

  4. yes
    no not piss but after a session with other half dribble is required so he has a wet patch to sleep on --this is my duty!!!
    yes but was pregnant fat and lazy....and asleep!
  5. No
    Yes..........many times, transit mattress's would have saved my £££££'s $$$$$$$'s, so much so that there is a shed at COD Bicester containing many of my old mattress maps from my service days, perhaps I will sell some as modern art ? (when I did the All Arms Drill Instructors Course (Snr) at Pirbright, wife gave me the £46.82 to pay for mattress in advance).
  6. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Yes - unless I wake up, then I take the opportunity.
    Yes - Yep, yep, and then some.
    4 - yeah, I know. But give me some bottles of wine, different story.
    No - Should have done.
  7. No



    Yes - Is it not S.O.P to hand in a mattress that has maps of Africa, India and the Phillipines on it in differing shades of yellow!????
  8. Yes
    Not since early infancy

    Not bad for almost mid-50s, I hope.

    BTW, I do NOT recommend retention of urine to anyone. Catheterisation isn't a fun way to hob-nob with nurses . . . . . . . Even with anaesthetic gel.
  9. 1)No, usually get a 10 second warning with my bladder making out like a spacehopper with a rhino sat on it :x
    2)Yes, but only when mullahed so pretty much every other bodily function is throwing it's hand in as well.
    3) 3 -4, then it's 1 pint, 1 piss, rinse and repeat :oops:
    4) No. Throught either cunning, sheer luck or some other force of the supernatural, I have lived a swamp free life, for now

    Edited to correct an outbreak of the Millaaaaar's
  10. 1) No not a chance
    2) Yes, doesn't every one?
    3) 4 then the seal is well and truly broken
    4) Yes, you name a place i have been and i have wet the bed there. Some sort of Territory marking reflex! Have even handed in dripping mattresses to the SQMS before now, did not get away with it.
  11. Yes
    Yes - only when im wearing cream chinos.
    4-5 depends how much prehydrating has occured
    Not yet
  12. 1 - Definately not

    2 - sometimes

    3 - intially, about 3 but, bizarelly, about 5 later on

    4 - bed, taxi, chicks leg - all viable options
  13. No
    Too often
    3 pints
    On the very odd occasion. Usually when copious amounts of wine is involved.
  14. never gushed the bed but i had a slight no2 accident on my birthday a few weeks ago! 8O
  15. I have an incurable bladder weakness.

    I can't stop myself removing them from each of my victims.