As an "ethnic" herself, she will get away with saying a lot more than your standard "WASP".
Good on her for having the courage to relay her beliefs, which, in my limited experience of such matters whilst having to deal with inner city area crime, seem to be very well thought out and presented.
More like her and the "cultural divide" may start to close.
There is a lot in what she says.......... I've posted before about the phenomena of Ethiopian women returning from the war forming matriarchial communities, having children but rejecting men because they were unemployed. The same thing has been seen in (white) inner city communities in Britain.
From the black woman's perspective, I guess she sees herself as bringing up children, working to bring in money AND having to support a man who isn't working, as well as dealing with a stroppy teenage son who is into his foul rap music that promotes the subjugation of women who is probably giving her lip (which most normal teenage boys do at some point)................ would you put up with that situation?
The sadness is is that teenage boys are emotionally vulnerable and I think more than anyone, need strong stable adult (both male and female) role models.
I've just hit parole after working in an environment full of young black men brougt up in lone parent families, Camilla Batmanghelidjh is one of the most inspirational community workers of our time and is completely right in my mind in what she says.
The problem is though, this is not just a cultural situation specific to black families.
I feel that as a working mother, who has always had a career and some sort of independence that "womens liberation" has done me few favours in the long run.
Yes I have been given equality - thanks to a lot of hard work put in by commited and very specially people. For that I will be eternally grateful.
But did I want the responsibility of no longer being able to say I am a full time mother with pride - nah. Nowadays when it is normal to be superwoman and hold down jobs, homes, kids and relationships, you hear the poor bitch who has commited herself to her family introduce herself as "JUST a mother"!
We as women now can't forgive our partner for anything that is remotely unacceptable as we are seen as weak and pathetic - "especially when there are thousands of women out there doing it on their own" as a friend of mine pointed out one day, we have to feel constant guilt at not being there for our kids and constant irritation at our partners for their ability to do one job, switch off from home when they get to work and from work when they get home - and then want sex at the end of the day!
We have put ourselves under way to much pressure, the steep rise in women using anti-depressants is testimony to that, along with the rate of divorces and relationship breakdown. How many people know of a family where there is a mum who is at melt down point and a relationship at serious risk? I know lots. And how many of us working mums have had the "do you farm your kid out" look, comment - from some other really compassionate lady.
GUILT is a major factor in womens lives today - I believe it over took the emotion of fulfillment and confidence.
It's fantastic to have a choice, great, brilliant etc. But I just hope by the time my little lady has her own family she will feel she doesn't just have some sort of choice, but has very real options and won't be judged so severely by other women or society in general for the decision she makes. Hopefully with this peace in mind she will then go on to bring up her family the way she wants and still have the energy to put in to making a relationship work when the kids are in bed and the house work is done.
Societies definitions are all skewed, young men are asked to be in touch with their feminity one minute and then behave "like a man" the next, fathers are no longer role models, mothers are no longer mothers and children are raised on a dose of TV and ready meals.
Liberalism was something I believed in - until I seen it's effects.
It's quite hard for some people to view sometimes aggressive young strong black men as vulnerable, but there is a large amount of truth as this being a cause of the bravado (and worse?) that is often associated. It may seem counterintuitive at first, and as making excuses, but I definately think its true.
Petite_butsweet I agree. From what I've just read, she does seem a legend and deserving of a bigger position to help society. I agree with the other comments, that if we had more people like her society would be a better place.
But, then again, she really isn't that much of a looker...