Black merc hits tree and loses

#1
On the way to Bisley yesterday, road conditions were bad and it was p*ssing down a Black Merc sports went skitting by at about 90mph, I thought, w*nker, then about half a mile further on there was the Merc piled into a tree, it had hit some standing water shot over the central reservation, across the oncoming carriageway and into a tree, luckily there were no other cars involved.

Bet the driver, if still alive never does that again.

Tree One, Merc Nil.
 
#3
Marc Bolan walt.

And yes I know it was a Mini.
 
#7
No_Duff said:
On the way to Bisley yesterday, road conditions were bad and it was p*ssing down a Black Merc sports went skitting by at about 90mph, I thought, w*nker, then about half a mile further on there was the Merc piled into a tree, it had hit some standing water shot over the central reservation, across the oncoming carriageway and into a tree, luckily there were no other cars involved.

Bet the driver, if still alive never does that again.

Tree One, Merc Nil.
No thought of helping? Calling the emergency services? You're one hell of a citizen, aren't you?
 
#8
cometcatcher said:
Half a mile at 90mph is about 20 secs. I presume you stopped to render assistance, dialled 999?
Is that also the number for the tree surgeon?
 
#10
If ironically, the driver was a tree-hugger, would it be classed as attempted rape with a sex-toy?
 
#12
No_Duff said:
On the way to Bisley yesterday, road conditions were bad and it was p*ssing down a Black Merc sports went skitting by at about 90mph, I thought, w*nker, then about half a mile further on there was the Merc piled into a tree, it had hit some standing water shot over the central reservation, across the oncoming carriageway and into a tree, luckily there were no other cars involved.

Bet the driver, if still alive never does that again.

Tree One, Merc Nil.
What type of tree was it?

Good old sturdy oak is my guess!
 
C

cloudbuster

Guest
#13
Many moons ago on my way from home in York to work at Dishforth, some clown went hammering past me on the back-road to Boro'bridge. Spotted him a couple of minutes later, standing in the middle of a field next to his pride and joy, now inverted and somewhat modified.

Being a good bloke I stopped, ascertained he wasn't about to cark-it, and, having yelled "WANKER" at him, drove off. I hope his CoC understood why he was late on parade that morning.
 
#14
Markintime said:
No_Duff said:
On the way to Bisley yesterday, road conditions were bad and it was p*ssing down a Black Merc sports went skitting by at about 90mph, I thought, w*nker, then about half a mile further on there was the Merc piled into a tree, it had hit some standing water shot over the central reservation, across the oncoming carriageway and into a tree, luckily there were no other cars involved.

Bet the driver, if still alive never does that again.

Tree One, Merc Nil.
No thought of helping? Calling the emergency services? You're one hell of a citizen, aren't you?
No, none of those thoughts at all, I'd travelled over 250 miles, got up at dark o'clock and wasn't going to f*ck my day up at Bisley for some tosser who thinks it's OK to drive like a c*nt. :evil:
 
#15
No_Duff said:
Markintime said:
No_Duff said:
On the way to Bisley yesterday, road conditions were bad and it was p*ssing down a Black Merc sports went skitting by at about 90mph, I thought, w*nker, then about half a mile further on there was the Merc piled into a tree, it had hit some standing water shot over the central reservation, across the oncoming carriageway and into a tree, luckily there were no other cars involved.

Bet the driver, if still alive never does that again.

Tree One, Merc Nil.
No thought of helping? Calling the emergency services? You're one hell of a citizen, aren't you?
No, none of those thoughts at all, I'd travelled over 250 miles, got up at dark o'clock and wasn't going to f*ck my day up at Bisley for some tosser who thinks it's OK to drive like a c*nt. :evil:
Which would make you c*nt :D
 
#16
Count.Dracule said:
What type of tree was it?
As far as the Merc driver's concerned, it wasn't poplar.
 
#18
Count.Dracule said:
No_Duff said:
Markintime said:
No_Duff said:
On the way to Bisley yesterday, road conditions were bad and it was p*ssing down a Black Merc sports went skitting by at about 90mph, I thought, w*nker, then about half a mile further on there was the Merc piled into a tree, it had hit some standing water shot over the central reservation, across the oncoming carriageway and into a tree, luckily there were no other cars involved.

Bet the driver, if still alive never does that again.

Tree One, Merc Nil.
No thought of helping? Calling the emergency services? You're one hell of a citizen, aren't you?
No, none of those thoughts at all, I'd travelled over 250 miles, got up at dark o'clock and wasn't going to f*ck my day up at Bisley for some tosser who thinks it's OK to drive like a c*nt. :evil:
Which would make you c*nt :D
true, but a c*nt driving at a sensible speed for the conditions :p :D
 
#19
No_Duff said:
Markintime said:
No_Duff said:
On the way to Bisley yesterday, road conditions were bad and it was p*ssing down a Black Merc sports went skitting by at about 90mph, I thought, w*nker, then about half a mile further on there was the Merc piled into a tree, it had hit some standing water shot over the central reservation, across the oncoming carriageway and into a tree, luckily there were no other cars involved.

Bet the driver, if still alive never does that again.

Tree One, Merc Nil.
No thought of helping? Calling the emergency services? You're one hell of a citizen, aren't you?
No, none of those thoughts at all, I'd travelled over 250 miles, got up at dark o'clock and wasn't going to f*ck my day up at Bisley for some tosser who thinks it's OK to drive like a c*nt. :evil:
Let's hope you never have a serious accident and need assistance then because the next guy along might be as big a cnut as you clearly are. You could have dialled 999 and got him/her assistance without even breaking your oh so important life and death journey to get to Bisley and indulge yourself. I hope to fcuk you're not a serving soldier because the prospect of some poor soldier having to rely of someone as self-centred as you does not bode well for his survival prospects.
 
#20
Markintime said:
No_Duff said:
Markintime said:
No_Duff said:
On the way to Bisley yesterday, road conditions were bad and it was p*ssing down a Black Merc sports went skitting by at about 90mph, I thought, w*nker, then about half a mile further on there was the Merc piled into a tree, it had hit some standing water shot over the central reservation, across the oncoming carriageway and into a tree, luckily there were no other cars involved.

Bet the driver, if still alive never does that again.

Tree One, Merc Nil.
No thought of helping? Calling the emergency services? You're one hell of a citizen, aren't you?
No, none of those thoughts at all, I'd travelled over 250 miles, got up at dark o'clock and wasn't going to f*ck my day up at Bisley for some tosser who thinks it's OK to drive like a c*nt. :evil:
Let's hope you never have a serious accident and need assistance then because the next guy along might be as big a cnut as you clearly are. You could have dialled 999 and got him/her assistance without even breaking your oh so important life and death journey to get to Bisley and indulge yourself. I hope to fcuk you're not a serving soldier because the prospect of some poor soldier having to rely of someone as self-centred as you does not bode well for his survival prospects.
Dry your eyes, the tree is OK - You can't call out an emergency gardener on 999 anyway.

Please close the NAAFI door when you leave. :p
 

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