BJs - all related threads in here please


I have noticed that the NAAFI bar is getting a little boring, maybe even PC these days :roll:

So I thought to start a thread with the good old Brit squaddie in mind (I should say with a red blooded male in mind!).

BJs or blow j o b s, fellatio etc.etc.

Blokes what was your best one, any likes of the technique or dislikes of techniques that you have had performed on you.

Ladies, likes/dislikes of performing said BJ? Any hates that bloke does whilst your "down" there?

I had to liven this NAAFI up its getting tedious folks :?
having it rammed down the back of me throat
to much hair

nice and clean
nice and trimmed

Can't think of anything else yet!
Best BJ ever...still makes my pants feel tight when I think of it

30 year old blonde german/swede i saw for a while in Germany.........absolute filth

She had expert technique and would be on you as soon as the door was shut to the flat and could undo the old belt and button fly one handed!

She would normally begin by nibbling gently around the hairy nutbag and bring the old chap to arousal with both hands getting busy combined with mouth action while she was looking up expectantly..........the dirty minx

things would naturally progress from sloppy slobbering to the normal pneumatic head pumping and she would vary the pace depending on the look on my face as I held her hair out of the way.

She perfected a great twisting movement with her fingers as she bobbed up and down on the old firemans helmet and now and again would shove the whole lot in her gob...............ooooof

The pace, grip and moisture level would be varied until the head of steam was such that she could tell by the twitching in my nuts and legs that the baby gravy was ready and she would then throw her head back while maintaining eye contact as i turned made her look like a plasterers radio! :wink: and left me with legs twiching like a sleeping labrador................. :D

Deep throating does it for well as teabagging while the bird hums her favourite tune. But then I am a pervert! :twisted: dont like the use of teeth or fingernails much though! 8O You always know when you are in the hands of an expert :wink:

Anyway she was a very talented but demanding girl and it was always exhausting though extremely pleasurable work

I'll be right back............phwoooarr :x where are those kleenex :!:
For myself I have a particular passion for recieving a good BJ. There's nothing like it at all. I've had plenty but it has to be my first ever.........

I was a sprog out of my class 3 and posted to Gods Hospital (QEMH, Woolwich). It was Friday night and the NAAFI bop was on and it was packed, wall to wall baby nurses looking for an unsuspecting Medic to use :twisted:

As I was new and shy 8O (I was still only 18!) I didn't try to tap off but hung around the peripheries trying to look cool. NAAFI finishes and off we all bimble to the 4 man rooms where a party is taking place. I end up there, slightly pisshed on sweet cider :roll: and a Pyschiatric nurse takes a liking to this young Medic who only had his cherry popped 2 weeks previous. So she starts talking to me and laying it on very thick about what she wants from young me. So I by this time am only too willing to oblige.

So she drags me to her room where very soon we are naked and bonking furiously, well I was anyway trying my hardest to impress. She stops me, tells me to lie down and then starts to kiss me on the chest and work her way down there. So here's young me, only having read about BJs in porn flicks about to get my first one.

Excited!! Not the f**cking word. I was there with the biggest grin on my puss waiting expectingly and then off she went. I honestly thought she was trying to suck my dick off and swallow it whole and to top that she started dragging her teeth. By this time I was trying to tell her to stop as it was getting bloody sore but she was having none of it, the only way she would stop was if I came. Now I was on the verge of coming but after her shinanigins it was the last thing on my mind, I wanted to save my poor todger! Thankfully I persuaded her back to bonking to save my red, raw willy from further damage. It didn't take too long to finish myself off and then I shot out of there, back to my room. I had to go get a cold pack from the hospital (but told everybody I sprained my ankle) and place it on my red, raw willy. I kept well away from her and it took me 2 weeks to go near a QA after that.

The moral of this story........beware of the QA who wishes to gobble, make sure she has been tested out previously :wink:
My 1st BJ was with a german lass in Wegberg. she was sucking and licking like it was icecream flavoured and looked me in the eye and said tell me when u make cum ja?

uhu i mumbled....30 seconds later i had an ND and she wasnt ready for it, also the first time i saw a lass dribble cum out of her nose.

made me laugh typing it.

A woman that can take your shaft to the base while looking you in the eye and swollowing, with your hand on the back of her head, is worth her weight in gold! :D
the best are all well and good but the worst also need mentioning.

While sat at a party nissed as a pewt i mentioned a likeing of rough handling. got lucky and was introduced to a pain i never want again. Industrial vacumes cant hold a candle to her as she attempted to turn tiny tim inside out and teeth were given to women to chew food not helmets.
it came to a very quick end when eventualy htere was even blood and i was out of action for quite a while
Corporal said:
A woman that can take your shaft to the base while looking you in the eye and swollowing, with your hand on the back of her head, is worth her weight in gold! :D
I've always had a soft spot for your sister Corps 8) .
Baddass said:
Corporal said:
A woman that can take your shaft to the base while looking you in the eye and swollowing, with your hand on the back of her head, is worth her weight in gold! :D
I've always had a soft spot for your sister Corps 8) .
She does give a good nosh, doesn't she? :D
meant the village not the RAF(H)

she was very pretty but everytime i saw her after that all i could remember was manfat oozing from her nostrils...

put me off.

I was 29 she was 19 (a Canadian) living in Germany, we were an item for a year. Every and I really do mean every single morning , she woke me up with a b j.

Her birthday was also 1 day before mine. You do the math and guess what I got for my 30th from my "How old" girlfriend.

Ah those were the days.
My ex-hubby, (god rest his soul, soon I hope :twisted: ) would give anything for a BJ,
and I do mean anything!
The only time he said no to me I went down and he had a 'I’ve tamed the bitch!' look on his face,
well I got going with all the best practices and he was groaning and squirming like he had a jack hammer stuffed up his ass, (hmmm now there's an idea to help him over to the otherside :twisted: )
when I, errrrr, sucked clean to the tip sweeping his rather excessive (we called it the hooded monster :twisted: ) foreskin up into a perfect little pucker.
I then trapped the lot between clenched teeth as he yelped,
held it and as I did so re-negotiated my previously requested favour,
which, strangely enough, he rather wisely granted me.
Hmmm funny he never said no to me again on anything after that,
and I only had to nosh him when I felt the urge. :twisted:

Best practices include letting the interviewee for long-term nosher watch you, err, handle the job yourself.
They then get to see the old master strokers’ position, rhythm and depth of, err, stroke!
The interviewee can then try a little hands on practice, perfecting the afore mentioned master strokers technique.
Once this level of the interview has been carried out to full satisfaction the interviewee can then be allowed to practice with the main objective included. I.e. their gob.

Worst practice include words like noooooo, or ouch!
These don't make for a happy interview, and while the interviewee is down there they might just think f*ck it and sink a hard momento of the meeting on to the main objective.

Other than that, clean, trim and free of fluff... :?

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