Bizarre Suicides

#1
Looking back through some news articles for work I came across this strange one:

Linky

What other bizarre suicides have arrsers hear about or what bizarre way would you choose to start the journey to Valhalla?
 

Ravers

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#2
#3
There's nothing bizarre about suicuide. Suicide is possibly the most selfish way out. Cnuts all of them.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
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#5
Could he not find paper to write on?

Edited to add; was he a pencil dick?
 
#6
Albertous said:
What other bizarre suicides have arrsers hear about or what bizarre way would you choose to start the journey to Valhalla?
A friends Father killed himself, and decided to make a last recording of a message in the car before turning on the ignition and gassing himself.

Except halfway through the car filling with Carbon Monoxide due to the fumes and obviously feeling a bit faint he decided he didn't want to die and his last ditch attempts to save himself were recorded for posterity.
 
#8
Back in the 70ies a school friends father was the local Police photographer.

So he had to take pics of all the crime scenes .So we got to hear all the good stuff.

2 spring to mind both self toppers.

1. Man found naked upside down in a bin (big wriggly tin type) that was full of old porn mags -OK he might have been trying some for of self pleasure but it was seen as a Suicide for the family.

2. Man found in his shed with a drill fixed in a vice with a big bit in it and the trigger tied down with wire and himself having 7 or so large drill holes in his bonce.
 
#10
As a kid I lived in a house previously owned by a suicide.

His second attempt, the good old-fashioned head in the gas oven succeeded, but the first one - running over the road and jumping through an adjacent house window - must have scared the hell out of the people living there!
 
#12
Late 70s I think it was, we had an Armourer who just did'nt get the hang of the old 'Good bye, cruel world' thang:

1. Tried to OD on sleeping tabs but could'nt swallow enough so he washed them down with Guiness. It took so much Guiness that he woke up, with a headache, having barffed the lot.

2. Then he took himself off to Brighton and threw himself off the pier (the old one). Trouble is the clown was such a good swimmer, he kept fighting his way to the surface.

3. Into Ward 13 with him, then: so, he does a runner, reaches the main London train line and thinks that if he lets the 0712 to Paddington cut off his arm, he'll bleed to death..........errm, no, actually. Emergency services found him, minus left arm: however, the action of the train wheel only cauterised the wound.

............anyhoo, after all this, he decided that it just was'nt worth the effort.
 

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#14
FourZeroCharlie said:
Late 70s I think it was, we had an Armourer who just did'nt get the hang of the old 'Good bye, cruel world' thang:

1. Tried to OD on sleeping tabs but could'nt swallow enough so he washed them down with Guiness. It took so much Guiness that he woke up, with a headache, having barffed the lot.

2. Then he took himself off to Brighton and threw himself off the pier (the old one). Trouble is the clown was such a good swimmer, he kept fighting his way to the surface.

3. Into Ward 13 with him, then: so, he does a runner, reaches the main London train line and thinks that if he lets the 0712 to Paddington cut off his arm, he'll bleed to death..........errm, no, actually. Emergency services found him, minus left arm: however, the action of the train wheel only cauterised the wound.

............anyhoo, after all this, he decided that it just was'nt worth the effort.
As an armourer it begs the question, why didn't he just shoot himself?
 
#15
A bit of a Hertfordshire urban myth but there used to be a family that lived in the same village as a friend of mine. The family were the local resident fruitcakes and one of them has attempted suicide on no less than two occasions. He's probably still trying to this day, as he's just not every good at it.

The first time, he tried to blow his insides out with a shotgun and missed. Minor flesh wounds to his side was the end result of that attempt. The second attempt involved him sitting in his car in the garage with the engine running in an attempt to gas himself. He was found, as after a while, he thought it was getting a bit stuffy and went and opened the garage doors to get some air.
 
#16
Ravers said:
FourZeroCharlie said:
Late 70s I think it was, we had an Armourer who just did'nt get the hang of the old 'Good bye, cruel world' thang:

1. Tried to OD on sleeping tabs but could'nt swallow enough so he washed them down with Guiness. It took so much Guiness that he woke up, with a headache, having barffed the lot.

2. Then he took himself off to Brighton and threw himself off the pier (the old one). Trouble is the clown was such a good swimmer, he kept fighting his way to the surface.

3. Into Ward 13 with him, then: so, he does a runner, reaches the main London train line and thinks that if he lets the 0712 to Paddington cut off his arm, he'll bleed to death..........errm, no, actually. Emergency services found him, minus left arm: however, the action of the train wheel only cauterised the wound.

............anyhoo, after all this, he decided that it just was'nt worth the effort.
As an armourer it begs the question, why didn't he just shoot himself?
........apparently, though desperate to do the foul deed, he did'nt want to leave a dirty gun behind for anyone else to clean.

Which was good of him.
 
#18
No, not a Cnut at all, just someone’s loved one who could no longer cope, and could see no other way of ending their pain……………
 
#19
RedLeg_1011 said:
No, not a Cnut at all, just someone’s loved one who could no longer cope, and could see no other way of ending their pain……………
B0llocks. There's always another option.
 
#20
In Russia there's an English-language newspaper called 'The Exile', which I read regularly whilst travelling through the country a few years ago. In one issue, there was an article about a guy who committed suicide on the Moscow Metro (underground) system. He could have jumped in front of a train or frazzled himself instantly by touching the electrified rail. Instead, he ran into a tunnel, climbed the wall and hung himself from the roof...
 

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