Bizarre sex act even by ARRSE standards

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by happybonzo, May 15, 2013.

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  1. .
    Quote of the year, people!
     
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  2. 'Man has sex with hornets nest' is simply a sensationalist headline!

    How it should read is- 'Idiot gets cock stung a hundred times by poking it into hornets nest'.
     
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  3. HHH

    HHH LE

    I suppose now the papers will drone on and on about this!
     
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  4. I hope you don't mind the enquiry, but WTF were you looking for when you happened to stumble across that piece of info, happybonzo?
     
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  5. Bizarre sex act?

    He only did it for the buzz :)
     
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  6. When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex," he replied.
    Jane explained to him what sex was.

    Tarzan said, "Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."

    Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."

    She took off her clothes and lay down on the ground. "Here," she said. "You must put it in here."

    Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge erection, and then gave her an almighty kick right in the c*nt. Jane rolled around in agony, but manages to gasp for air and swore, "What f*ck did you do that for?"

    "Tarzan check for bees."
     
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  7. Late at night you hunt for grot of all perversions. You filthy old cunt
     
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  8. It was in today's Metro newspaper (well, technically, yesterdays)
     
  9. What have turnips got to do with any of this anyway?
     
  10. No doubt Bonzo's been up to worse but with better protection. Hornets would slide off his Crisco coated manhood. The filthy ancient relic.
     
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  11. I was on the bus when I heard of this man's demise, and it made me start to cry. The whole bus fell silent.
     
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  12. That's a bit vanilla. In the UK gentlemen often put their gentleman in to ladies from Hull. Just for laughs too.

    Nails.
     
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  13. It's just like when you complain to a big multi-national or government department - it's one prick against many.
     
  14. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    That had to sting a bit.