Bizarre sex act even by ARRSE standards

#3
'Man has sex with hornets nest' is simply a sensationalist headline!

How it should read is- 'Idiot gets cock stung a hundred times by poking it into hornets nest'.
 
#4
I suppose now the papers will drone on and on about this!
 
C

cloudbuster

Guest
#5
I hope you don't mind the enquiry, but WTF were you looking for when you happened to stumble across that piece of info, happybonzo?
 
#7
When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex," he replied.
Jane explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said, "Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."

She took off her clothes and lay down on the ground. "Here," she said. "You must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge erection, and then gave her an almighty kick right in the c*nt. Jane rolled around in agony, but manages to gasp for air and swore, "What f*ck did you do that for?"

"Tarzan check for bees."
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
#9
I hope you don't mind the enquiry, but WTF where you looking for when you happened to stumble across that piece of info, happybonzo?
Late at night you hunt for grot of all perversions. You filthy old cunt
It was in today's Metro newspaper (well, technically, yesterdays)
 
#12
I was on the bus when I heard of this man's demise, and it made me start to cry. The whole bus fell silent.
 
#13
That's a bit vanilla. In the UK gentlemen often put their gentleman in to ladies from Hull. Just for laughs too.

Nails.
 
#14
It's just like when you complain to a big multi-national or government department - it's one prick against many.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#15
That had to sting a bit.
 

FrosteeMARIA

LE
Gallery Guru
#16
So if he got stung, wouldn't that make a bit of a swelling? Then he got stuck? Maybe there is method in the madness. That or utter fucking desperation!
 
#17
This quote struck me as a little odd:

"It hid the whole package [and] the scrotum was enlarged. Right now it feels heavy and unreal. We did not talk very often, but he was still my neighbour."

Why was his neighbour weighing up his dead genitalia? Do they play banjos a lot in this part of backwater Scandinavia?
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#20
And who the hell thought of checking the nest for semen? And surely if they was semen it meant he managed to complete his act before his demise!
 

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