After reading this stupidly stupid post I am now very confused and even more anxious about my situation: www.arrse.co.uk/cpgn2/Forums/viewtopic/t=42590/highlight=reenlist.html Yes another awol. I started looking to join when I was 17 a care leaver and basically living in sheltered housing as the care system couldn't find me a bedsit. joined not really thinking it through properly but I run out of choices at that point (I don't think most people that age can think it through fully. done about 1.5-2 year not sure.) I myself done training (loved training felt like I was going somewhere) and then went to my unit, as soon as I got to my unit it all went to shit I got accused of not reading standing orders while I was still "Green" and was awoken with a punch in the mouth by some underling of a prick of a NCO saying I did not read standing orders. Then it moved on to drunken NCO's coming in to our block waking up all us three and beasting us while they were drunk and probably getting some fun kick out of it, and then the mother load that basically made me think (Hay what the hell am I in the army for, to be a punch bag? you cant exactly return punches to rank can you?) Was when us three was awoken again, in our first couple of months there and lined up in the hall by the SAME NCO guy to the left of me was punched in the face guy to the right headbutted while his drunked NCO mate watched and by some amazing luck of the draw he decided that I looked like a "dodgy ******" so he didnt hit me? Well after that I thought that there was not much point me being there started getting grief even from the RMP He said to me "Your going to go awol I know it" Cheers for that if we hook up let me buy you a drink so I can stick it in your face add glass.(Yes I am angry at him) all the time every day only time I felt like I was doing something worthwhile was when I was doing Tabs BFT runs and what not. Fire strikes kicked in got attached to a company who I hardly knew, Isolation effect kicked in. After We finished the fire strikes I got a weeks leave picked up my bags and I left but thats basically has kept me away for four years, but let me tell you this its been four years of hell, just for anyone who is thinking of becoming awol for whatever reason you should really not do it. Did I enjoy looking over my shoulders every day? no. Was it fun when you was working in a bar and one of your Sergent's wander up to the bar and clock you? No. is it good having to keep a low profile and not risk driving because you will eventually get stopped by the police? No. Is it fun starting University but subconsciously not being able to finish it as you think the RMP are catching up with you? God damn it no and finally working in London and having serious anxiety attacks from underlaying problems (going awol for so long, takes its toll) Its been so long now and quite frankly I am so fed up of the bull that comes with looking over your shoulder all the time and 2 days from now I will be taking my self to face the music (need to get everything in order first) So now my rant is over I would like to find out in a no-nonsense sense what are the chances of me soldiering on? If I explain my story as I have told you what do you think would come of it? I would prefer a lack of flames just some sound advice. Thanks.