Biscuits to prevent masturbation

Id stop wanking if someone offered me a bscut. then id eat it kick them out and carry on. or just carry on if it was a fit bird
 
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Biscuits to prevent the oldest pastime and hobby? I don't fucking think so.

You'd have to slice off my hands or cock, or both, and even then....
 
SOGGY BISCUIT numerous blokes stand round a biscuit and all jack off last one to blow there load on the biscuit has to eat the biscuit?...........

According to Steven Fry.


Allegedly.
 

NEQcounter

War Hero
I don't know about biscuits to prevent masturbation but I did find a good way to stop my brother biting his nails, I kicked his teeth in.
 

alib

LE
Digestives certainly can create a crumb problem for frequent ejaculators.
 

NEQcounter

War Hero
I had often wondered how different types of baked, commonly flour-based food products would affect masturbation. After extensive clinical trials I have found that water biscuits have no substance, rich tea, digestive, Nice, hobnobs and shortbread leave crumbs in your pubes. Custard creams, Jammie Dodgers and chocolate digestives (milk and plain) are quite messy but do have some lubricating effects. Ginger nuts are too hard and fairly abrasive. The biscuit of the pudding pullers' choice, after the trials, has turned out to be the humble Garibaldi, except you might find a raisin down your Jap's eye or under your foreskin at a later date. However this can be a a delightful treat for your missus while she enjoys blowing on the old blue-veined flute.
 

alib

LE
Dunking is also problematic.
 
Just lighten things up a little and f uck all to do with biscuits, although a tenuous connection with wanking:
 
SOGGY BISCUIT numerous blokes stand round a biscuit and all jack off last one to blow there load on the biscuit has to eat the biscuit?...........

According to Steven Fry.


Allegedly.
That's the hermer version. The proper way to play is thus: - each man around the dinner table has a Carr's water biscuit put in front of him. Each lady takes up position behind the man to her right and coaxes his little chap to splooge on the biscuit. Last lady to hit the target eats the biscuits.
 
I had often wondered how different types of baked, commonly flour-based food products would affect masturbation. After extensive clinical trials I have found that water biscuits have no substance, rich tea, digestive, Nice, hobnobs and shortbread leave crumbs in your pubes. Custard creams, Jammie Dodgers and chocolate digestives (milk and plain) are quite messy but do have some lubricating effects. Ginger nuts are too hard and fairly abrasive. The biscuit of the pudding pullers' choice, after the trials, has turned out to be the humble Garibaldi, except you might find a raisin down your Jap's eye or under your foreskin at a later date. However this can be a a delightful treat for your missus while she enjoys blowing on the old blue-veined flute.
What about when she doesnt enjoy it? Or should we not bother about that and keep going anyway
 
That's the hermer version. The proper way to play is thus: - each man around the dinner table has a Carr's water biscuit put in front of him. Each lady takes up position behind the man to her right and coaxes his little chap to splooge on the biscuit. Last lady to hit the target eats the biscuits.
Well I did say it was a Steven Fry quote
 
I find wearing boxing gloves helps.... but not much, it's a bugger to wipe me erse after a dump.....!

I know.... more meds and coffee please Nurse!
 
I had often wondered how different types of baked, commonly flour-based food products would affect masturbation. After extensive clinical trials I have found that water biscuits have no substance, rich tea, digestive, Nice, hobnobs and shortbread leave crumbs in your pubes. Custard creams, Jammie Dodgers and chocolate digestives (milk and plain) are quite messy but do have some lubricating effects. Ginger nuts are too hard and fairly abrasive. The biscuit of the pudding pullers' choice, after the trials, has turned out to be the humble Garibaldi, except you might find a raisin down your Jap's eye or under your foreskin at a later date. However this can be a a delightful treat for your missus while she enjoys blowing on the old blue-veined flute.
Ahhh! The dedication to research is an honourable pursuit.
 

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