So I get an email from ARRSE a few minutes ago, wishing me a happy birthday. I know it's not an automated software based load of bollox, but a genuine, heartfelt Internet handshake from the admin team, and for that I thank them. I have made no plans at all for this evening, and bearing in mind my age (54) and the fact I'm carrying an injury (dodgy knee) I was wondering if I should let my internetshire pals choose this evenings birthday activities. There are choices. A new restaurant has opened at the bottom of the hill and has a varied, grill based menu, so if perhaps a random number was chosen between say, one and fifteen, I'd chose that as my dinner...because I can do 'edgy'. There are three rather nice bars within a 100 yards of my home. I was thinking perhaps two pints in each, spread over a six hour time period, starting at 1700hrs. I'd have a glass of port as a nightcap in the last pub as well...I'm not a fecking girl. The nearest Indian restaurant is 6 miles away, so that's obviously out of the question, and anyway I have a sneaky suspicion that I may have been barred over a misunderstanding over the language, and the words 'robbing bastards'. I've just started reading 'One hell of a ride' an autobiography by the jockey Paul Carberry, so I'm thinking perhaps an evening in, with some ginger beer in front of a roaring log fire and crack another chapter. I could do two chapters but, me eyes aren't what they used to be... Another couple of points to bear in mind are; the local Gardi have my mobile number, I'm on the committee of the local business association and I do not possess an inflatable bassoon. I'm a single, white, hetro male and can spank 100 on any festivities. Aside from just hanging myself, which no doubt some of you cunts will suggest, what larks should I get up to tonight?